As of right now I am 6 months pregnant. From about January I have struggled with my boyfriends drug habits. I went through a lot trying to get him to stop and he said he did, but come later to find out he has never stopped. I ask him constantly if he still does them, which of course he says no. I don't trust him at all because he has lied about it so much in the past. Hes 27 and Im 21. He lives with him mother and doesn't plan on getting a house any time soon! He is always with his friends and every time we fight about what he's doing he says sorry that he's going to change but he never does. Im so frustrated and confused on what to do. Do I leave him now so he will get that Im serious? Or wait around to see if he will change after I have the baby?? PLEASE HELP :(

leave him hun... im sorry to say it but a baby is not going to change anything esp if he has not changed already... think of it this way... is that the kind of person you want your child to grow up around? do you want your kid to pick up drug habits? he's lying to you and he won't stop lying to you... you can do better and I know it may be hard at first but trust me sometimes you just have to let go... I dated someone for 2 yrs that started just smokin weed and then moved on to coke and then x and now he can't stop... we haven't been together for a long time and at one point after we split I still wanted to be with him but after seeing what kind of person he was becoming I slowly came to terms with the fact that he wasn't going to change unless HE wanted to and to this day we are still good friends and he tells me all the time I need to do something with my life and quit living like this but I don't pity him because he doesn't really want to change until he DOES it... let him go... you can do better... I met the love of my life when I was 6 months pregnant and he's been there ever since a baby won't stop you from being happy...

let him go

I agree with lickemlolly, nothing good can come from staying with him, things could end up getting a lot worse.

I have been in exactly your spot before. I was 18 and pregnant and my boyfriend was using heroin. I thought he could stop, things would be different later after the baby, etc.
Nothing worked - take it from me, I stayed with him because I "loved" him and that got my car totaled, me thrown out of my apartment, my grandparents house broken into, everything that I owned that was worth more than $5 "disappeared". And the lies were horrible. After my child was born, he would use the baby as an excuse to go somewhere and put my sons life in jeopardy. My boyfriend used to be a sweet guy, but he was a drug user and disregarding other peoples lives is no big deal to them compared to getting a fix.
You're in an awful predicament and I realize its not so easy just to leave, and especially since you are pregnant now, your emotional and all this stress is not good. It took me a year and a half to finally wake up and leave - and my life is 10,000 times better for it. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here.

You made a bad choice you need to forget this guy and find a better person and for you to bring a baby in to my world,and I know damn well I am going to pay for it with higher taxes.do us all a favour get your tubes tied and think next time don't grab any banana

That comment is dumb as hell... get your tubes tied?? shell want to have kids again one day when she's married and with someone she loves just because this didn't work out is no reason to look at it negative... im 20 with a child and wouldn't have even thought for a moment to get my tubes tied... that is so typical of a guy to say... and very insenstive I might add to a woman going through something like that

Tie your tubes that doesn't hurt the baby if anything it saves it from well who knows a miserable life not to say this is the case ,but kids out there are monstersthat are growing up from broken unmarried homesusually mother to young to have the brains to make the right choice so don't you dare side with that :)

Ugh typical guy... I wouldn't trade my child for the world... and there are just as many monsters out there growing up from families where the parents are married and happy so sorry disagree still... if she wants to tie her tubes because she doesn't want anymore kids is one thing... but to do it because she's having one from this situation and you think its best for the child makes no sense... tubals should only be done if the mother is sure without a shadow of a doubt that they want no more kids.. and even then I have known people that have regretted it.. its not something to be decided lightly... if its about not having anymore kids there is birth control for that but she will prob want to have more kids later in life and tubal is not the answer... my son may have been born into a broken family but his family is not broken now.. happens and things change... she may find someone who is wonderful for her..

Look there are to many people out in the streets given birth to babies I live here too I don't want to see the young people making my world a mess.and you better open your eye's and read and look at the news you will see what is going on in the world its all because of bad choices not made with the heart of the person but by the hormones that are like a knee jerk response. :eek:

I agree that you should probably leave the father of your child. I understand that it is difficult. But I promise in three years you don't want to be standing in your kitchen explaining to the social worker how you knew he was like this and didn't do anything about it. It can be construed as neglect. Protect you child from your boyfriend and make a great life for your child.
Okay so you have decided that the answer to society is to have people get their tubes tied, so that these random children being born don't annoy you. I have a question do you want to select the people that get their tubes tied or is that just a blanket statement? It is a woman's right to choose what the hell she does with her body!

It is a woman's right to choose what the hell she does with her body!but most unmarried girls that have a child is supported by my taxes so its now also my right what she does with her body

So just judging by the advice you dish out I gather that you have no concept of social contract or how the public welfare system actually works. You have no right at anytime to attempt to DICTATE what a woman does regardless of why you think you might be fiscally responsible. Your ideas are archaic and not helpful. I feel sorry for you because apparently you flunked your high school civics class when they explained your tax dollar breakdown.

Thank you so much I agree totally with you... because its irresponsible men that don't want to take care of their children that cause a big portion of women to be supported by welfare... not all because there are some that take advantage of it... but I agree with serial... thanks for steppin up

You are not helping by advocating to these young women to go out there and get pregnant,cause the gov,will pay for it,this is the sort of thing we need to stop unwedd, mothers, children who grow up with out a set of parents,children who most of the time become criminals and then the cycle begins again with them.

I'm a single mother and I'm not married and I do a DAMN good job of raising my little boy.. no one is encouraging them to go get pregnant... and for someone like me who isn't on welfare and struggling your statement makes no sense... honestly who encourages someone to go get pregnant but guess what tubal isn't even going to happen unless first off your over 21... they won't let you tie your tubes until your 21... so for those "young mothers" your statement is pointless... smh.. ignorance

Of course you women have gravitated together on this cause to have the right to give birth, I do not object to the concept of birth,I am not attacking you at your core but I am demanding responsibility I don't want to see single mothers who just shed their pampers,giving birth.unable to support themselves,just for a good sexual time .

Now you do relize that all single women got pregent just from one night of fun right? You do relize that some women once they get pregnet their husbands leave. This happened to my sister and then she was left with not one but two little girls that she on her own because somebody left her. Or the girl relizes that the man she had a child with is a loser or some other reason she is better without him. Now my question how was this her fault. Also is it some big deal that she was on WIC I relize that you by yourself paid for her and her two girls to eat and we thank you. Oh but I quess that all the money that I was looseing from my taxes did not help her at all.

First off I am not advocating for everyone to run out an have an orgy. I am advocating for you to pull you head out of the sand or where ever else it may be buried. As a social worker I can guarantee that I spend more time dealing with these people you refer to. I praise Lickemlolly for being a single struggling mother. You have no concept of how hard some of these women work to keep their children out of the welfare system.

I am not a newbie here,I get hundreds of fan mail telling me how right I am so why not except it :cool:

What should we expect? That your incompetent?

You're an idiot esp when it comes to pregnancy and women... and a jerk.. your wrong on this one buddy its obvious to see... 3 women disagree with you so obviously there is a problem with your point of view...

And another thing.. fan mail? yeah right.. if anyone gets fanmail its wildcat.. you only have 50 posts so you're no expert srry... get over it

I have received many thank you messages telling me that I was right and this is after the fact I did not come her to argue but I came to enlighten

Well do us all a favor and don't use your enlightment on pregnant women because this is one subject you know nothing about but think you know everything...

Dude your join date is June 2005 because you make stupid comments in several forums doesn't make you an expert. You want to enlighten people enlighten me as where this amazing fan mail comes from. Perhaps it from the voices that tell you all women are whores just chomping at the bit to get pregnant and force you to support them.

Your statement was an understadable remark knowing my stance on unmarried girls who produce baby after baby with never even the same father,these kids don't care about themselves they don't have any respect at all they live off welfare they are bad parents there kids grow up to be unwanted burdens to the state,my streets become unsafe my taxes go up.and I understand you are a social worker I don't blame you I think you really try to help them.but that's what's out there

Just because they live off welfare DOES NOT make them bad parents.. I know some people on welfare with several kids from diff dads and they are terrific parents... tru they made bad choices but just because they are on welfare doesn't mean they are bad parents

I would suggest that young Michael, in addition to failing high school civics, likely also failed English. I believe he wants us to "accept" his self-given authority, not '"except" it. I would also advise a crash course in capitalization, comma use and run-on sentences. Even though I don't agree with his stance, I would find it much more digestible if it were better presented.

Ok I'm only 16 but I know there is obviosly no future with this man do what is best for the baby and leave him. He is not going to make your life any easier. I know if I had a child I would not want him or her to be around that type of father. Get out of the relationship and find someone who is responsible and drug free and I guaruntee you will be much happier.

I hate guys that say that. They don't know what girls are going through. Like Lickemlolly said, even if this one didn't work out, doesn't mean that when she gets older she won't want another. And I also agree that you should leave him. The drugs can lead to more drugs and maybe even abuse. Dump him girl. He is definitely not worth it.

I know I am younger that any of you guys, but my sister got pregnant by her boyfriend that was doing drugs. After she had the baby, he became abusive and used more drugs. She is 21 with a 2 yr old boy. She dumped the boyfriend when her boy was 1 and now found someone who cares about her and her child and he doesn't do drugs either.

Exactly! You will find someone else.

NEVER get involved with a serious drug user.

You are wise beyound your years there Monkey.

As of right now I am 6 months pregnant. From about january I have struggled with my boyfriends drug habits. I went through alot trying to get him to stop and he said he did, but come later to find out he has never stopped. I ask him constantly if he still does them, which of course he says no. I dont trust him at all because he has lied about it so much in the past. Hes 27 and Im 21. He lives with him mother and doesnt plan on getting a house any time soon!! He is always with his friends and every time we fight about what hes doing he says sorry that hes gonna change but he never does. Im so frustrated and confused on what to do. Do I leave him now so he will get that Im serious?? Or wait around to see if he will change after I have the baby???? PLEASE HELP :(
This is a pretty sticky situation. Your six months pregnant and obviously love this guy. But there's a child that's about to be brought into this world and it don't need to be brought into an ugly world like that. Drug users are drug users! Trust me! I battled with heroin addiction since I was 14 and now I'm 25 and finally clean. Its sad because the real person behind that drug user is actually most of the time a beautiful person. But the drugs do turn you into someone your not. It takes over your life and I'm sorry to say but the fact is if your partner had a choice to spend his last 50 dollars on dippers or drugs, it will be the drugs. No second thoughts! Sad thing is is that he will know its wrong and will hurt so bad but that's what the drugs do to you. They make you isolate yourself, think about yourself only, steal, cheat, lie... really it's a bad bad life. I think back when I was on the gear and the things I done and think... sheeez that's sad. Please think of you and the safety of your baby. Maybe your boyfriend isn't ready to stop. I done COUNTLESS treatments to please other people when I wasn't ready and always wondered why I went back to drugs. This last time which was 2 years ago, I was sooooooo ready! Hopefully one day soon he will come around and realise there is a baby out there that needs him to be a daddy not a devil in disguise. Stay strong!

As of right now I am 6 months pregnant. From about january I have struggled with my boyfriends drug habits. I went through alot trying to get him to stop and he said he did, but come later to find out he has never stopped. I ask him constantly if he still does them, which of course he says no. I dont trust him at all because he has lied about it so much in the past. Hes 27 and Im 21. He lives with him mother and doesnt plan on getting a house any time soon!! He is always with his friends and every time we fight about what hes doing he says sorry that hes gonna change but he never does. Im so frustrated and confused on what to do. Do I leave him now so he will get that Im serious?? Or wait around to see if he will change after I have the baby???? PLEASE HELP :(
Im in the same boat as you its awful.. I keep giving mine too many warnings that I am going to leave him.. but never get the strength too.. I too am 6 months gone..

The baby is almost 2 years old now. The date is clearly printed in the post. It's cool that your offering help but keep an eye on the date.