I did a mistake. I just fell in love with the wrong person. I was so confused and lost back then. He gave me power and loved me. He cares a lot. He is there for me all the time... all the time when he is not with his family.
I am young and beautiful... people say and I have a great career. I am getting my PhD and all,but my life is a mess and people always ask me: why don't you have a boyfriend, girl?

When I'm with him I am happy. When I'm not, I either work or feel miserable. I feel like I failed so bad... and people admire me for my scientific activity. And now I feel that everything I have ever worked for was in vane. What is the use of it? I no longer have the satisfaction of my degrees.

I need help and feel so alone...

Well if it helps you can love me :)

Seriously though this is not healthy to you as you know you can't have him, he has a wife of his own and a family, would you really want to break that up.

You need to detox on the love, get busy and do stuff with your life, you say you are young and beautiful and have a great career ahead of you, you're a dream prize for any man, go out and find someone single, then maybe one day you will fall in love and have a husband of your own.

Good luck to you

When I'm with him I am happy. When I'm not, I either work or feel miserable. I feel like I failed so bad... and people admire me for my scientific activity. And now I feel that everything I have ever worked for was in vane. What is the use of it? I no longer have the satisfaction of my degrees.

I need help and feel so alone...

With all you have going for you, if you dump this guy and leave him alone, you will feel better, and can get what you really deserve... a full time man.

Understand that if he wanted to be with you he would have left his wife already. He hasn't. Personally I would be disgusted by him having two women at once. He is a selfish person and has manipulated an obviously intelligent, successful woman into being his side dish. Find a real man that you can be happy with and you don't have to keep a secret. You are wasting time being angry with yourself.. be angry with him.

Every time I read a post about getting involved with a married man, it takes me back to my miserable days, with the only difference that I am married too and had someone to go back to... same was the case with him... so in a nutshell, he has his wife to go back to and tomorrow if he suddenly decides he's kind of bored(which usually happens), what you're going to do? You would hv already wasted so many days. I suggest married man is not worth the effort you're going to put. I know if tomorrow my hubby has an affair, sooner or later he's going to come back to me, so I never question him... same with all married men. They eventually go back to their wives and family. This I am speaking from experience. Knowing that you're doing good for yourself, why do you knowingly want to put yourself in a VERY uncertain situation like this which will drain you like anything. Please don't do this to yourself... It is not love... it is lust from his side. But I know whatever we're going to say here, will fade as soon you will see him next but you'll only wake up from your experience. I only wish you well.

Well, young and beautiful or not you have zero respect for yourself. Stop seeing him immediately, impose 100% no contact, and try to work on your own self esteem and depression issues. You have a lot going for you, why would you let someone use and control you like that? He gave you power? A cheater gave you power? And you defend him! You really think he cares?

Stop being a victim and take charge of your own life.