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sunnywave77
Jun 14, 2007, 12:00 PM
My husband and I have been married for seven years and have a three year old boy and little girl on the way. I recently discovered that his ex-fiancee sought him out on MySpace and now e-mails him. It's only every few months or so, but, it is still hurtful to me. When my ex tried to contact me and I e-mailed him back, I was so guilt ridden about it and I stopped because I didn't think it was right.

They are e-mailing each other on birthdays, etc. I wouldn't really care, except this girl was so in love with him and he broke her heart - I can just tell from her e-mails she still has feelings for him as well. She's still single too.

On top of it - I contanstly feel guilty for sneaking around, but geez, I'm pregnant, hormonal and don't know what to do? I've confronted him once about it and he blew it off and said he only talked to her once - then recently I see he sent her a birthday note - is this really necessary??

Am I over-reacting?? :confused:

abbi-melissa
Jun 18, 2007, 09:16 AM
You should tell him how you feel, I am a very jealous person and I would have gone off my rocket, but maybe all this is innocent, he's your husband, talk to him, if you trust him enough to give him the responsibility of children then shouldn't you be able to talk to him? I hope all goes well for you xx

RubyPitbull
Jun 18, 2007, 04:15 PM
Sunny, I think your hormones are kind of getting the better of you here my dear. Your husband broke up with her. That meant there was something about her that he couldn't deal with. So, her feelings are her feelings. Not his. If it was more than once every few months or he was telling her something personal, my answer would be different. But, it is apparent that he isn't interested in her for anything more than an exchange of pleasantries on special occasions. Guys have a tendency to manage to maintain friendships with old flames if the guy is the "dumper". They don't hold any feelings for the women any more. Please relax about it honey. I know that it isn't easy but unless he does something more and betrays your trust, you shouldn't be worrying yourself like this.
I know it is hard to turn just turn off the worries in your mind so if it will make you feel better, then talk to him about it. Tell him you are hormonal, you love him, and his speaking with her makes you unhappy. Ask him why he wants to maintain contact with her and tell him that you think the ex still has feelings for him, that his exchanges with her might give her hope that he might come back to her, and you would be more comfortable if he broke off his contact with her. If you do this rationally, logically, and without overreacting, he might just see your point and end his correspondence. Good luck! :)

Lotz_of_Questions
Jun 19, 2007, 11:49 AM
If your husband broke up with her, that meant he didn't have feelings for her. This doesn't mean he hates her, I bet they were really good friend when they were dating.
Now the problem here is that this bugs you. I think you should talk to your husband, let him know it bugs you.
Ask him not to hide anything from you, and to please respect you. Ask him how he would feel if you were doing the same thing with your ex.?
Good Luck and take care of the tummy! :)