Who reckons that a break is healthy in a long relationship?

Is a break wise, before jumping into any decissions?

No

So a break is not a good idea to give to time to think and even see whthere you miss the person or not?

Good question Krs.

For me personally, no.
It's all about commitment & trust. If my hubby said he wanted to take a break from us, whatever the reason, my trust in him would be broken. He made a commitment before God & my family 'til death'.

If he was having doubts enough to need time away, how would I know when he came back, if he was back for good? If he's had doubts once, he may have them again. I would always be feeling that I was never quite up to stratch, otherwise why would he have left in the first place?

Just my humble opinion.
Moomin

If I wanted a break with someone, then I would know that they were not right for me. It would be over. I don't agree with breaks at all.

Its true what you are both saying!
I agree.
I would also be hurt if my loved one suggested a break.

However, right now I am very confused and don't no if he is d one for me.

You think a break would help? I'm sure you're aware that communication is key :)

I can realise that maybe being with him the whole time doesn't give you the time that you need to think. Maybe running through your feelings with a trusted friend might give you the freedom of thought that you obviously need?

If it falls through, you've always got me ;)

Thank you :)

That's the thing..
Brief of my story
I was a virgin when I met him at 19. Im 28 now. Been married for 3.
In some way I feel I need to experience life and learn more about myself. On the other hand I'm also scared of be alone...
Im also scared ill regret leaving him, then again I may not!

Can you understand why I'm so confused

I can,
My work blocks this site in a few minutes so I'm sorry that I can't respond.

I don't think you need to be scared about being alone.
We can talk further later on if you want.

One of our experts in crisis :( Always a sad thing to see. Is communication not the right thing? You grow together etc Perhaps you should both perhaps travel together for a while? Or you explore traveling alone or with a friend for a while...

One of our experts in crisis :( Always a sad thing to see. Is communication not the right thing? You grow together etc Perhaps you should both perhaps travel together for a while? Or you explore traveling alone or with a friend for a while...

I like this answer, about travelling with a friend for awhile. Sorry that I couldn't rate you. The system wouldn't allow it.

If only I had the money

In this way it seems less of a threat to her partner?

Why do you think he is not the one?

If only i had the money

Okay, if no money. What about walks with people whose thoughts you trust?

Why do you think he is not the one?
I don't quite know to be honest!

I dont quite know to be honest!


Females always want what they haven't got and then realise what they had!!
If you believe you have a great relationship stay. If you don't walk away.

So many people go looking and cannot find the love they want yourve had this for 8 years and now decide you want too look. I don't know how someone could stay for that long then leave if it wasn't that good then why stay for so long. The problem with people is they all want something new these days instead of excepting something great they already have.

I don't want to be harsh but you may already have a great relationshipi don't no, but you are thinkibg about sleeping with another guy to know what its like, Woukd you want him to sleep with another girl just to check that your all right??

Well
I tell you what you need you need to get a guy and a girl over and you can each go for it with the other that may settle your thoughts./ If you can handle that. May ruin what you have

Wow... You two have been together such a long time! Why give that up now?

Okay, quite honestly, I've been in this situation and that "break" ended up being permanent. It starts being about needing time and space to think about things, in my case my ex wanted to see what else was out there since we were each others first serious relationship and were becoming serious too young. Sometimes, if you set something free it comes back, but that's a huge risk to take. Personally, we've both grown a lot from it, we've noticed things that were in our relationshp that neither have us have found since, but you're risking something real that not everyone is lucky enough to find. I hope it turns out better for you...

If you cannot solve the issues together or yourself things will only get worse. NOT GOOd! That is why it is important to have time apart. If you do not want to hrut your partner you tell him the truth or you go somewhere for a while i.e. travel alone for a while.. if you do not have the money go get it.

You have some serious thinking to do...

Updates?

Thank you :)

Thats the thing..
Brief of my story
I was a virgin when i met him at 19. Im 28 now. Been married for 3.
In some way i feel i need to experience life and learn more about myself. On the other hand im also scared of be alone....
Im also scared ill regret leaving him, then again i may not!

can u understand why im so confused

Maybe its important to remember that if you were meant to be together forever then it will be this way regardless of what happens. Fate plays its part in life in mysterious ways (in my opinion).

I do agree with others that communication is very important but of course you know that.

I watched this great film the other day, you may have seen it. Its called the Butterfly Effect. This guy who has blackouts as a kid grows up not remembering painful experiences of his childhood. He is encouraged to write a journal during his childhood by his therapist. When he grow up, he finds a way of traveling back in time through reading his journals and then fills in the gaps and attempts to change the past. You know what I liked about the film?

It is how small choices that we make in life can alter drastically the outcome of our situation, of our lives. It really had a powerful message to convey I believe about how precious decision making is in life and that as an adult, we must live with the outcome of the decisions we make, good or bad. This obviously doesn't just speak for relationship decisions, but decisions/choices on a huge scale throughout our lives.

In fact, it is what makes life so very interesting. What if I do it this way? what if I go that way? Am I in control or is something controlling me? Is it fate? Or is it just some random process?

Anyway, I thought that this would in some way relate to how you are feeling at the moment in terms of the confusion of your situation. My emphasis is on choices/decisions and the power to make them and the strength to deal with the consequences.

Updates!

Who knows if a break is good or not.

On the surface I would say a break is a bad thing. You loose trust... you are hurt... feel rejected... alone... quesiton yourself worth. So many different things run through your head. You wonder about what they are doing. If they still love you... if they are dating. You want to fight to get back what you had.

But down below its not really that simple an answer to give. Each person is traveling through this world on his own path. We all have this battle in ourselves... with ourselves. We all at one point loose our way. We question our paths... our purpose... goals... self worth. We in essance have an internal struggle with ourselves.

This effects our relationships. It happens sometimes that we come to depend on our partner... or blame them... hurt them... for the problems that we face inside. For the past.

Sometimes the only way to move forward is to take a step back. To take a hard look at yourself and work on you without the commitments of a relationship. It sucks... but that's the reality.