I swear I live on Wysteria Lane. I have the worst neighbors ever. They are nosy, rude, obnoxious and mean. I hate it. Yet I have to be nice because otherwise it would be WW3 around here. I have turned a blind eye for months, trying to ignore rude comments, all the lies and the jealousy. I have been the bigger person because I am too busy to be bothered by such nonsense. WEll these same neighbors who have the audacity to leave my daughter out when the whole neighborhood is on their trampoline, to leave their daughter over my house all day, while they don't even speak to me or my daughter. It is the most screwed up thing. I want to tell her to go home, but it isn't her fault I feel I am being manipulated and I hate that!! I want to scream right now, because I can't confront her mom, she is a true nutcase! I am not trying to be rude, she just really is off her rocker. What do I do??

Not allow her to leave her daughter at your house, send child home, stand up for your child. You get walked over because you allow yourself to be.

Yes, I get that. I do understand your point. Although when 3 other children in the neighborhood are playing and she is out front by herself wanting to play, my children know not to leave anyone out, even if someone does it to them. I guess I don't want to be taken advantage of in one way, but I don't want to be like the girl's mom who is evil to her daughter. Her daughter isn't to blame. I just let her play even though I know it isn't really fair that she is here. It is a tough place to be, I always include every kid in the neighborhood, I couldn't leave one out because her mom is a jerk. I just hate all the things her mom has done in the past. There is so much more to this, I could go on and on, but I won't. Lets just say I have other neighbors like her, they like to spy on us, when we come and go. They make up lies. I just ignore it. I just don't want to make the kid feel bad. But yes in a way, you are right.

You should be careful with whom your child is being friends to. As for your neighbours, the best thing I can think of is to ignore them, if you give them attention will only give them a boost to be even more nasty to you.

That is so true, I do need to be careful. I do keep to myself and just ignore all of them, but when their daughter comes over because she sees other kids over, I let her play so I don't make her feel bad. How do I not let her over and not create more drama with the parents? I know they are taking advantage by having her come to my house. I don't even speak to them and I haven't for months since they were rude to my daughter. I have even caught the mom staring at my daughter from her window when my kids are out front playing. She freaks me out! I used to have her daughter over all the time, took her everywhere, sleepovers, mall, beach, movies. I stopped doing all that. Now because its summer and she doesn't send her kids to camp or anything, she thinks she can pawn her off on me. Well I had a bunch of kids over swimming and she comes knocking on the door. I didn't want to let her in, but I felt I had to. Its not the kids fault and then I am being mean to a child, right? I don't know. Its frustrating.

If this has a negative influence on your daughter you should not let her come over anymore, otherwise just keep an eye over them

Shattered, do I need to kick some booty for you. I am on my waaaayyyyy!! How is the situation now? Any better?

I just put an imaginary bubble around me every time I go outside. I act like they aren't even there. It is hard when I hear the crap they make up and how rude they are, but that is their problem, not mine. I can't stand ignorant people, that are nasty!! My mother taught me way better than that. THAS WASSUP!!

Good job. Poor girl with a no good pair of parents. Not fair to her at all. It sure is hard to hold your ground in this kind of situation. I am a push over in some aspects, this would be a hard one for me. Good day today!

You have no idea about how awful she has it. I do feel sorry for her . But I can't continue to let her around with the way the parents act. It is sad. Yes, I would love for someone to come kick her mom's butt. She screams and curses at me in the street and makes up lies. I have another neighbor who spies on us constantly. It is aggravating!!

So are you moving to Oregon, you favorite twin lives there...

ARE THERE NUTTY NEIGHBORS THERE THAT SPY ON YOU AND MAKE UP LIES?? IF not, I am seriously checking it out. It is scary to move somewhere I know no one, but I do have my WONDERTWIN!! You might get sick of me though, I could end up on your street!! WHat do houses run there?

By the time you are ready to move we should be in the "big" house with the pool, we could drain that sucker and put a top on it, you would have an instant house...

OK now don't get me going... Oh I didn't see where Dus posted anything. Did Davey have a good time at camp? I like your thinking on this. My husband wants to get a big middle finger and flip everyone off as we are leaving, lol.

Ok, you tell him to meet me, he might just like me. I am kind of cute, as long as he likes a cold beer and some football him and my hubby would get along fine. Actually they would get along great. I will never stop pushing, the schools are great here and the scenery even better, the kids love it, not too cold not too hot and we camp all the time.

And then we could say screw it and throw the laundry machines out the window and meet at the laundro mat just for the low cost and good company excuse!

One more thing, we have a huge hauling trailer that would definitely fit your whole house into it so we could take a vacation to Florida and move you...

You have no idea about how awful she has it. I do feel sorry for her . But I can't continue to let her around with the way the parents act. It is sad. Yes, I would love for someone to come kick her mom's butt. She screams and curses at me in the street and makes up lies. I have another neighbor who spies on us constantly. It is aggravating!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there,

I am sure my comments would be considered as a last resort---
Yet, have you thought of moving?

Your story reminds me of a personal story of mine about 10 years ago, when I first had my oldest son. The neighbors were mean. No matter how neighborly my family was to them they would get worse. I only found solice when I moved. I had dealt with the problems for 3 long years.

I personally realized that when one is blessed with great neighbors---think twice about moving, because next time you never know what you are going to get!

I know this is not the best philosohy, but it can sometimes be more difficult to deal with or try to change some situations.

When I found another home, I had great neighbors--and I had researched the neighborhood prior to moving in. I actually stayed there for 8 years! Most of the neighbors were "lifers" in the area, so my life became much more peaceful when I finally moved.

If this is not an option for you, I would suggest standing your ground on your personal morals and values for your family as was stated earlier by another member. If you have to seek legal help do so.

You and your family should not be subjected to this type of consistent harassment. I am sure that you don't want these negative experiences as "lasting memories" for your family.
Therefore, some type of "action" needs to take place, ASAP. Perhaps moving or handling the matter judicially.

I hope something I have stated here can help.

Sincerely, Tomy M. Hall, MS

Thanks for your advice Tomy! Actually Our house is for sale right now. Yes it isn't good at all for my kids to be around this, or us. WE don't want to get sucked into their drama and feed into it. YEs, Wondertwin, I will consider it. Why not? I just have to get my husband on board. He loves cold beer and football, I love football too. Any mention of throwing away washers is fine with me!! The laundromat gets it done all at the same time! Been there and done that when I am behind. I am airing all my dirty laundry on here, haa haa. I think the people across the street have enjoyed making our lives miserable. I tried to be nice for a while. I finally went OFF on one of them who lied and said I flipped her off and I was going to kick someone's a$$ on the street. I was talking to the school resource officer about having a bully workshop for the kids at school and this is what my neighbor translated that to!! I told her she is a liar and she has no idea what she is talking about. I f I wanted to flip her off I would do it to her face. I told her to ask the school cop what I said. SHe did and then found out she was wrong. She never apologized. The other one across the street went looney on me a couple times after the kids were outside playing and the mom thought my daughter did something to hers and started screaming at her. WHAT A NUT!! When the lady found out her brother died, I tried to be nice and get a card. I saw her outside and asked how she was doing and she completely flipped out on me and started cursing at me in front of the kids to leave her the f**k alone and stay out of her life. Yeah she is a quack. I did. I left her alone all right. Then her kid started showing up over here. I let them play outside with the other kids, but I don't want that kid here. I smile and always say hello to the kids. I am the one who always has everyone over, not anyone else. They keep their houses perfect that way. Yet, I am not going to allow me or my kids to be used or taken advantage of. I also don't trust them. One of them made up lies about my husband having an affair because she FOLLOWED him up to the store. ( He likes to go up to the gas station at night get a beer for him, a smirnoff for me and some scratch offs or whatever. WEll, she thinks he must be meeting someone for going each night. What a nutcase. Believe me. We don't buy a lot of alcohol and leave it in the house because we don't want the kids to see it. So after they are in bed, its our time to relax, you know?? They conjure up that he must be having an affair. Now if he really was and someone told me, that would be different. This woman is a pathalogical liar. I cannot stand her. Now I just act like I don't see ANY OF THEM. They all stand outside and talk about us, its very comical. YEs, it could be a TV show I am sure.

Wow.. what a horrible place to be. It's not like you can pick up and leave, Wysteria lane sounds beautiful. Although your heart and gesture is in an obvious kind place, wanting to have the kids play, you are allowing your guilt be your guide. My experience has shown this to be true for me.

As you said, the crazy lady cannot be dealt with on a civil note nor does she place your best interest at heart, is not capable of it. She sees she has a "free babysitter" at hand, and as long as you don't say anything, do you think she is going to let this "free ride" end? I don't think so. She is coming from a totally different view point and outlook on life than you. You are wonderfully giving and kind (obviously) she IS NOT. She won't change no matter how and what you say.. it is her M.O. /pattern, from what you have said.

Its not the child, of course you have said so, it's the mom and the "abusive behavior" towards YOU. It's your choice of course, but you do not have to accept Unacceptable behavior from her or anyone else. This is YOUR right as a human being. She is not your problem to try to "fix" her daughters summer activities. I know is sounds hard, but as long as you continue to let the child into your home, you are telling the crazy lady, (by your actions) that what she is doing is OK.

Remember, she's looney (or whatever she may be with a lot of unfinished issues whatever) and what might sound normal and true to you and the rest of the world, is not even in her code of ethics.

You and your family, health and safety comes first! No matter what. I support you and pray for wisdom, strength and courage. You are loved by those who know you Braveheart!

Wow, thanks Mango, very inspiring words. How kind you are. YOu are right, I have not allowed her to come over, I do it inconspicuously, not obvious. Yes, I cannot allow people to walk on me. I have a habit of doing that. I am learning and I am slowly getting better. I try to avoid all the crazy neighbors and keep my kids otherwise occupied. It is working so far. I wish there were people like you and start around here, it is truly a crazy block. I am lucky I have good friends in other places. You are also right about the guilt thing. I cannot use guilt as my guide. I don't get my daughter ice cream and not the other kids if the ice cream truck goes by, I would feel bad leaving someone out. So now, I just don't get it at all and I buy it for them later. This way, I don't get used and no one's feelings get hurt. NOt that anyone would buy it for my kids, it is just who I am. She has a strange and twisted code of ethics and has been trying to talk to my husband and be nice. She said she didn't think we had any problems and he said, we don't, my wife just prefers to keep to herself. She was thinking maybe we would talk again, NOT!! I just STAY AWAY, FAR AWAY. One second she is nice, and the next one she is a raving lunatic. No thanks!! I can handle if you have a bad day, or you are in a bad mood, but her mood swings and anger issues are abusive. Thank you for such valuable advice, I will try to be BRAVE and take it to HEART. I don't know that I am a BRAVEHEART, but thanks for the vote confidence!! I am glad I am back, I missed you people!!

[QUOTE=shatteredsoul]Wow, thanks Mango, very inspiring words. How kind you are. YOu are right, I will try to be BRAVE and take it to HEART. I don't know that I am a BRAVEHEART, but thanks for the vote confidence!!

Just to let you know, Mango is our great friend shattered, you can't go wrong with her. She is going to move here and so are you, then we will be the coolest chicks in Oregon!! I do have a bumper sticker that says that you know... I just never stuck it to my car it is hanging in my room so my Husband is reminded of how good he has it!! LOLOLOL I am crackin myself up again. My house is a mess. Too bad for the kid, the mom is a poo p!

WEll I think if we lived near each other we could have endless cups of coffee while we help each other clean and cook. NO more cleaning in isolation!! I have to laugh at you Ms Cool chick, yest Mango is definitely a good egg, and we would we be the coolest ever to hit Oregon! You need to get me that bumper sticker and I will proudly stick it on my car! Did I tell you I love you today?? I love you, and I hope everyone has a Happy Friday the 13th! That is supposed to be a freaky day right? WEll I think we will have a happy freaky day today, I hope. Man I really missed you people. I am glad to be home..

[QUOTE=shatteredsoul]WEll I think if we lived near each other we could have endless cups of coffee while we help each other clean and cook. NO more cleaning in isolation!! I have to laugh at you Ms Cool chick, yest Mango is definitely a good egg, and we would we be the coolest ever to hit Oregon! You need to get me that bumper sticker and I will proudly stick it on my car! Did I tell you I love you today?? I love you, and I hope everyone has a Happy Friday the 13th! That is supposed to be a freaky day right? WEll I think we will have a happy freaky day today, I hope. Man I really missed you people. I am glad to be home.

[I feel so loved(warm and fuzzy goin' on here) it's so cool to know both of you!~
"The Truth Shall Set You Free"~ I love coffee! And I would love the bumper sticker too~Mango:) ]

What an amazing story Shatteredsoul, In your place I would have gotten psychosis or something. I could've never stood your situation and would've fled as soon as that had started. Congratulations on you moving, for you and your kids. I just hope the other girl won't end up like her mom. It would be very sad. I'm worried about her.
Anyway, by the way, where in Oregon do you guys live or are moving to, if I may know? Because I have an aunt who lives around there and I live in Washington.

Thanks for your interest in the dramatic life of me. LOL I hope that the girl won't end up like her mom either. Although, her mom is really mean to her and she is a pretty sweet kid. I think she is angry underneath it all, I am not sure how that will all play out in adolescence. Especially because she is quite the follower. That worries me too. The bad thing is the market is so slow right now so I don't know when we will sell our house. A year and a half ago we could have sold it in less than a week. Oh well. I don't know where Start is in Oregon. I am in South Florida right now and we are weighing our options on where to move. Ya know, for awhile I really did freak out because there is more than one crazy neighbor but I realized, why let them get the best of me? I never did anything to deserve their wickedness and the way they treat me says a lot more about them, than it does about me. If people don't like me , that is fine. There is no reason to be so abusive. Either to me or my child. I did finally confront one neighbor about her making up lies, she started screaming and cursing at me. I just looked at her like she was absolutely nuts. I said look at you, you look like a fool. YOu know you are a liar and you are completely pathetic. I won't waste my energy dealing with you or another breath talking to you. I can't say sometimes I don't want to scream my head off but I don't. I pull out of the driveway and look straight ahead. After what they think really means nothing, unless I make it mean something. About ten years ago I would have been in a knock down, drag out fight. I guess being in your 30's does that to you. Ha Ha. Anyway, I am always looking forward to having stimulating conversation with people like you, hope to hear from you again. Start and Mango, my friends. I am happy to have you both. Mango, glad we can make you feel all warm and fuzzy, you are just that kind of a gal!! Thank God today is Friday.

Obviously those people are not really human(figuratively speaking), so why should a real human being like you ever have to put up with such nonsense. There is stuff going on similar to that in my own family, but not as bad as your situation sounds. People who make themselves an enemy for senseless reasons. Personally, I do not and am not anyone's enemy and I do not ever wish to have any. But those people do not deserve to have anything in this life until they learn from their errors and try to change for the better. That's just my opinion.
Meanwhile, I really hope that soon, Shatteredsoul, you can sell your house and move on with your life. And just remember to always keep your head on high, don't let those individuals make your faith, hope, integrity, and confidence ever waiver. Teach them a lesson with that, do not let yourself be put down, ever.

Just want to request that you keep us updated in your situation. At least for me it was interesting to hear about it.

Thanks for your interest and concern. My neighbors have been busy worrying about a peeping Tom in the neighborhood so they aren't paying any attention to me right now. They have hidden cameras out to try and catch the pervert. THAT is a good thing! However, since you were wondering,I have my fair share of nasty people I am dealing with outside of my neighborhood. So, I guess it is just that time of month or something! When it rains it pours and man is it pouring on my head. Sorry. The last couple days have really sucked and I am not really very personable right now. I feel like I try to be fair and decent to people and I get stepped on. I am not a submissive person either, so when people are rude or take advantage of me I get really pissed off. I try to keep my anger controlled because it isn't healthy to be that way. I do have that tendency when someone pushes, I push back harder. NOt really the way to stay centered and balanced. I get tired of people who try to intimidate me or that use me. I would help anyone who needed it if I thought I could help and not for any monetary return. I would do it because it's the right thing. I noticed that doesn't always happen the other way around. I apologize for ranting and raving. I am in a terrible mood and I am tired of sh!tty people. You are a Godsend and I appreciate your genuine interest in me.

Don't worry, everyone gets in a bad mood when things like those happen. I'm truly sorry your days haven't been the best, I personally didn't have a good day either, but I will not let that get to me. I hear what you're saying about getting stepped on. In fact, that has been a life long issue for me. Sometimes no matter how kind I am to people and how much I tolerate certain things, I still end up with that feeling. And it's not just a feeling, they actually do for some reason step on me. Yeah it does hurt me and irritate me a lot, so I do know how you feel. But just remember evertime that happens to you, you probably are worth more than those people. They're not really getting anything out of it, doing so is not at all making them better than you. So it's not worth it to fight back to what they do, don't be like them in any way. Keep head up high, like it should be.

You are so right and I am going to take your advice on that one. Experience is the best teacher and it sounds like you have learned your lessons well. It is unfortunate that you too have experiened similar situations. I guess we just have to become more resilient in the process. Sometimes it feels like life is a series of tests. Some of them I fail and some I pass with flying colors. I will try to pass this one by keeping my head high and recognizing that some people enjoy hurting others. This isn't to be taken personally and I cannot worry about how other people choose to treat me. I can only choose how I respond. Continue passing on your wisdom. I do truly enjoy it!! Peace to you today, my friend...

I'm glad you are trying to make yourself better. Hope your issues will resolve soon and in a positive manner. Meanwhile, not pressuring you, keep us updated when something new comes up. Even if you want to just talk about how your day went or something. Have a very good day.

Ok I had to tell you since I know you would find it interesting/funny. Last night I am outside with my friends who are visiting from out of town and my neighbor across the street is outside watching us. We decide to go to dinner at this place close by. As we leave, my neighbor leaves. Whatever, I wasn't really paying attention. Well, when we show up at the restaurant I see my neighbor's car. I see the kids looking and they say, look who is here mom. I just nod my head and say OK guys, no staring just keep walking. I get inside and two minutes later she is inside too. Oh well. We stay to ourselves in our corner of the place. As we leave to go to our car, I see her go to her car. When I pull out, she is pulling out too. When I get home, she is standing outside watching us. It is just so funny because I don't even look her way. I just keep to myself and act like she isn't there. My friend was like, that was so weird. What is wrong with her, is she a stalker or something? Is she jealous of you or obsessed with you or what? I was like, no she is just crazy. There is nothing to be jealous of. I think she does it to creep me out. Yeah, just another day on Wysteria Lane... LOL LOL LOL. I have to laugh. What else can I do??
OH, by the way, how are you? Happy Thursday to you. And thanks for your all your input!!

I have to say... GEEZ!! :eek: :mad: What the heck is that person thinking!?
I've met just once or twice someone who stalks a little, but to that degree?. I think she needs either some legal intervention or psychological intervention. Seriously, if that is a normal day for you, congratulations on not going crazy. I would have already. Hate it when people violate privacy. But good for you that you don't pay attention to that, keep it up, but there is no reason for someone to stalk anyone like that, it's your own private life... it seems like that person is trying to live your life or watch you like if you were a soap opera or movie. Just is not at all normal.
The only time I've been stalked so obviously was like two years ago. I went to the library, and went upstairs. Seemed like no one was there so I thought, I'll have peace and quiet and privacy here. But the next thing I noticed was someone standing next to me, "casually" looking for a book. So at that time I didn't think much of it... cause it looked perfectly normal. Then I moved to another aisle to look at other books. A few seconds later, he came to the aisle I was at and stood almost next to me. So I one more time moved to a different aisle, and there he went just a few seconds later, but this time, he was acting like he was searching books at the bottom, like I was, and through the corner of my eye I saw he bent down, his butt facing me, but I didn't turn to look. I did catch a glimpse of something that looked pinkish. I just hope it wasn't his bare butt or something.:p Then I just left.
Then, exactly one week later, I returned to the library to resume my interrupted session of book searching. But as I went up the stairs, I could see someone on top looking down at me, but I didn't think it was the same guy. Guess... it was. But I went on as if normal, so he proceeded to go to where I was at. I spent about 3 minutes there, and so did he... then I moved, seconds later there he was... moved again and there he went.
But then, I moved and sat on a stool to read a book, so then he sat down also on the floor right next to the aisle, pretending to read a book too. Suddenly I got up, and moved, funny I hadn't noticed what section I went to. Then the guy actually proceeded to ask me... " Do you know where the dictionary section is?" I said... " I don't know." but seconds after, I looked at the shelf and first thing I saw were dictionaries. LOL! :D
He left and came back pretending he had just found the dictionary section. Right there he talked to me. Asked me if I liked dogs or had any cause he'd seen me reading training books. Then he said a few more things to me, and I responded, but just that. Later I just got up and left to the check out, checked some books out and headed outside.
I got stopped by lights, and glanced to my side, there he was. And he asked me...
" Hey weren't you just inside?" Lights turned green and I kept on walking, with him right by my side. Then he asked my age and other things I don't recall... he said I was pretty and who knows what else. Kept following like blocks until I saw the bus station was near so I headed to the buses. There he went. I got on a random bus, and thought he had gone somewhere else. From inside the bus later, I saw he also was going to take a bus, the good thing was he didn't take the one I was on.
Conclusion, I didn't return to the library for the rest of summer vacation. When I got home, I looked at the webpage which shows registered sexual predators, didn't find him there, but would've gotten grossed out if I had. Haven't seen him anymore since then, and I'm glad. Oh and so sorry if I wrote too much. I know I should've told the people at the library that he was stalking me, but I didn't want to create a problem, they probably found out later.
Oh and so sorry if I wrote too much. I hope it doesn't bother you.:o
Have a wonderful weekend and keep it up ignoring such behavior of those people. But I don't think they should in any way be interfering with your privacy. Tell someone or something. It's just wrong.

Pay it no attention:)

Wow, That is a creepy story!! I don't think that I would have handled that as well as you. Don't apologize, this is about being nice to nasty people. YOU handled it nicely and that guy seemed NASTY!! Why are some people so creepy? YOu are right, I think she is trying to watch my life like it is a movie or something. OK well it ain't that exciting! I mean, I was friends with her in the past so she should know that. Like you said, I have to keep my head up and keep moving!
OR like CanadaSweety said, PAY IT NO MIND!!
I went out for my birthday this weekend and when my friends showed up and the hummer limo arrived that my husband rented, you should have seen her face PLASTERED ON her front window. Just staring away! I was like, yeah you aren't coming so look all you want! I didn't really say that, but I was thinking it. Actually last year she came out for my birthday. One of my friends warned me that she is a little off. Boy, was she right!!

Keep sharing and never apologize. I enjoy hearing from you. Happy Monday to all!

Bad neighbors do stink. And although it's not their kids fault it's not yours either. They don't take about leaving your child out, so why do them any favors. I'm sure their kid has more friends so let those people take the hassle. Although you need to be somewhat personable to these morons it is okay to let them know when they are being rude. Instead of being rude and making comments that will fire them up it's best to say something that will make them feel embarrassed with what they say. Make them realize it was wrong. Next time they say something stupid ask them why they said that. Next time she curses at you ask her what her problem is and why she is doing that with her kids around. Good luck

I tend to ignore people that say and do negative things to me, when they curse I bless , or just plainly ignore then, sooner or later they get bored of not getting any negative responses from me and would just simply leave me alone, believe me to ignore such people or even pretend they don't exist works like a bomb ;)

Hello. Here I am again. Man I missed writing on this board, I was gone for a whole month. I went to Oregon with my aunt and her husband over in Albany, and I was aching to come back home. They live in a ranch where they grow all sorts of veggies and stuff. Corn, green beans, cauliflour, broccoli, mint, and many other things. Their backyard is basically a corn field. The views are beautiful, but honestly after a while you have to miss the city.
It all happened so fast, they came one Sunday, and had to leave that same day, they offered to take me with them, so I said yes. And I didn't have time to do anything.
There's no computer over there so I also missed the internet a lot.
Well one thing I learned from my journey is patience, and I continued learning how to drive... still not doing too good but there's been quite a few progress.
Now what I'd like to know is how are you guys all doing?? What has happened in this whole month??
Shatteredsoul, are you still around here? Or did I already miss you??

Hey so glad you are back! Yes I am still here! So, glad you are learning the value of patience, it sure is something difficult and I am still learning it myself. I am doing OK, and things are fine. The summer ended so fast and now, its back to the grind. My daughter started middle school and that was a little bumpy but I think she will be fine. I had a falling out with my best friend and I started a thread about it. It basically is a done deal. We went to Islands of Adventure and Universal with her and her children. IT went well but then after she went home everything kind of fell apart. I asked her why she said some stuff about me and I probably should have left well enough alone. It turned ugly and she got very defensive. I am guessing I won't hear from her.
As for my neighbors, I have been following all of the advice to ignore them and do my own thing. I don't say anything because she is like a ticking time bomb. WEll, hopefully you are doing well. I can't wait to chat!

Well you know what, I'm so glad things have gone OK for you. You are so right summer kind of flew by. And starting Middle School is a bit of a challenge, lots of new things going on, kind of confusing for the start. But I think later she will enjoy it, well at least I did back then. You just got to be there for her, don't leave her alone and if she has older brothers or sisters, they could help in guiding her and giving her security.
As you well know, Home is our sanctuary, at least it's supposed to be. Lot's of times it isn't a safe place for many people and it's sad. I'm also sorry about your friend, what got her to turn on you?
What happened with your plan about moving? Are you still working on it, or did you change your mind? But anyway you're doing good ignoring those pesky neighbors of yours, I hope you keep it up.
One thing I hadn't mentioned from my trip was the weird feeling I came home with, and another reason I was so anxious to come back.
As I mentioned, I went to Oregon with my Aunt and her husband. Well first things seemed all right and everything, but the last week and a half, her husband started getting kind or "gooey" with me. He used to go with me to practice driving every evening, but one day he took my hand off the steering wheel, and held it but he said I should practice driving with one hand. So I didn't think much of it then, he grabbed it several times though but I paid it no attention. Then the next days he started grabbing my hair, touching the side of my chest or the back of my head. He had never displayed any signs of affection towards me the times I had gone before, in fact I thought he didn't care at all about me. And I also didn't have any affection towards him even though he's my aunt's husband.
So I guess I should say it made me feel weird, and I should also mention he had been telling me why he married my aunt and that they had problems and stuff. Two days before we came back, he still did those touchy, grabby, things and then he said he was going to miss me, that he could already feel it and then he said liked me a lot, but that the problem was the situation. So needless to say that creeped me out. I didn't tell him anything, but at that point I just wanted more badly to come back home. For the last two days over there, I tried avoiding going for a drive with him. Just tried avoiding him, period.
I don't have it clear if he meant it in that way, or not, but I'd rather not know. And I don't really want to go back there, at least not soon.
Well I hope I didn't bore you out or something. Just felt the need to share that.
May your day go well and I'm glad you're still here Shatteredsoul.

OMG that is really dreadful! What an awful and uncomfortable situation to be in! I had an uncle like that, but I wasn't alone with him more than once, for that reason, EWWWW!@Q!
I am so sorry to hear about that. YOu did the right thing by keeping your distance and you are so right on about that being weird and giving you the creeps. IT is a good thing he didn't try to do anything else, I am sure that was coming. My stomach turned just reading about it and YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT BORE ME! I am really glad you shared that you must have been sick on the way home, and yes I can see why you wouldn't want to EVER EVER go back. YOUR poor aunt, I don't know how you will explain it to her but geez!
I want to talk more about this I am getting ready to pick up my daughter but I will be back on, so keep sharing. Thank you for you kind thoughts. I do appreciate your interest.
GLAd your back! Hugs to you

Yeah well, he was right though, they do have problems. As the last night we were there they argued a lot. And I'm so not trying to defend him at all, but he doesn't seem like those people who would actually go forward and do something else. You know what I mean. He kind of seemed rather nice about the way he did what he did. But it definitely was creepy, especially having in mind the way he used to treat me before, which was not too good.
And you know what, I think they don't love each other though, perhaps they never did, at least my aunt really seems like she doesn't care that much for him or at least as her husband, so if she ever hears about this I'm really hoping it won't affect her way too much. I didn't tell her anything because she has a surgery coming, and because if I said anything, not really knowing for sure if his intentions were bad, then guess how I would come out to look. But anyway if I see him again, given that he comes over here to see his family once in a while, and I notice anything further than what happened, then I'll have to tell her.
And you know what, now that I mentioned his family, I've got to say that his family is kind of like your neighbors, they've made my family's life difficult. Made stuff up, and many things similar to what you go through. The only thing that keeps their family from going further with their meddling, is that my aunt has been a life-long friend to them. And that is exactly the same reason why they feel they can meddle.
But to top it off though they have an acquaintance with the other family which basically wants our head. Just to picture it how we feel it. They're all full of gossip and don't look to see who they're doing wrong.
So you're not alone, we've gone through these things for years now. Overall though a lesson is to not have any resentment, but how can we not have any if they even beat up my mom when I was a kid. That's just enough to boil anyone's blood. Just imagine. No better that you don't. It's not a pretty feeling in any way.
Well thanks also for your interest and I have to go somewhere right now but I too will be back later.

I didn't mean to assume that he would have attacked you, it just felt like he was definitely crossing some boundaries and that is surely an uncomfortable situation to be in. I can't believe this family has it out for you so bad and the so many people have an interest in being so cruel. Well actually I can believe it, but I didn't used to think people are intentionally mean like that but they are. THat really sucks.HOw do you put up with all the gossip and the lies? They beat up your mom when you were young? That is just awful. Did she ever do anything about it? I can't believe such abusive behavior. It is true to not carry resentment, because it only hurts the one holding the grudge but sometimes its hard not to be angry and baffled by their actions. I hope other than that mess with your uncle, you enjoyed some of your trip. It sounds like a peaceful place at least.
How is everything else with you and your family? DO you have neighbors that are your friends? Do you stay away from all of those toxic people or are they always in your life? Ok Sorry I am asking so many questions. Every day I realize that whatever I am going through, somebody else has worse! Good to hear from you my friend, now continue where you left off! LOL Hugs

Well thanks for your support. You're right, as far as I feel it he did cross boundaries, but that was about the only bad or uncomfortable situation in the trip. Other than that, everything worked out better than I expected. Yes it is a peaceful place to be, beautiful views and sunsets.
Well I didn't mean to sound like they're after me personally, but they are after my family. The worse thing that has happened is what I mentioned about beating up my mom, and what I can't believe is that she didn't do anything about it. I don't know why, and it also makes me mad that they got away with it. They even took pictures of her after the beating and we still have them.
As it turns out, we moved to our current apartment like 6 months ago, and for exactly the same reason. The neighbors were family and friends with the people who are after us. They didn't want us there, and so we moved. Currently we have no neighbor friends, neither enemies. Sometimes maybe it's better like that.
And since we moved, we haven't heard anything else about those people but it doesn't mean they're out of our lives completely, and that sucks.
Well what happened, have any more feedback on your part? Enough about this situation, don't you think? LOL.

Hello there! I understand that this subject is sore with you, so it is totally fine to head in another direction. I have to keep it somewhere close to the original post about being nice to nasty people, so that it doesn't just get removed. I think you have ever right to take it personal, because it is your family that is affected. So, there is no need to justify your feelings on that!
I think it is almost better to keep to yourself. I never had any problems with anyone until I started hanging with my neighbors. At first it was cool and then it just turned into major drama. I have had my house on the market for over five months but no one is buying right now. The sad part is, I just redid my whole house . The kitchen, the pool, the floors, the roof, the AC and the walls/ pretty much everything. So right now we aren't going anywhere. I am not comfortable with having two mortgages so we will wait until the market changes. South Florida really boomed and now it is at a standstill. Houses on my block used to sell in a matter of DAYS! It is a little frustrating. Although I don't know where we would go. I like NOrth Carolina but my husband is now thinking that he can make more money with his business here, for the next year or so. That means staying in my neighborhood. I still just keep to myself and everyone else leaves me alone. I see them stare and say things to each other, but don't pay it any mind! ( Like my buddy Canada told me) I am getting tougher as time goes by. I don't really give a sh!t what they think of me. I know part of it was because one neighbor thought I should hang out with her and she didn't like my other friend. OH well. Now my other friend moved away, and the neighbor told my husband, "I don't know why your wife doesn't talk to me anymore" He just told her that it was easier by me keeping to myself, rather than tell her she is a psychotic b!tch. YOu know what I mean. She is the one that screams and goes crazy over nothing. I know she has a problem with drinking and pills, which is really none of my business. I don't go around telling the other neighbors that. I guess she has major mood swings but that doesn't mean I have to put up with that. I tried being nice to everyone and it got me nowhere. So, now the silent treatment works better for me. Well enough of me, now back to you. What else is going on in your life? I am wondering how old you are, I am thinking maybe in your twenties? I am in my early thirties, although I can't believe it every time I say that! At least I can still party with the best of them. LOL Well hope you are having a great day so far. I cannot wait until the weekend myself! Peace out

Hello back. The topic of my own family problems was indeed getting to me. I support that keeping to oneself is a good way to prevent ongoing trouble. Especially in your situation. Not sure if you really would like to move if the circumstances were different, but I find it sort of disturbing if you don't. The situation must not be good for your kids nor for you. Besides, I'm thinking that you could actually be enjoying the company of non-lunatic neighbors. I understand you though, selling a house isn't a piece of cake, and sometimes you're forced to do what you don't want to given the circumstances.
What I'd hope for you is that someday, hopefully soon, you'll be out of there for good. You're doing good though, by having nothing to do with them, because sometimes it's just much better to be alone than with bad company, right? As for me, my whole life I've had to keep to myself many times. I admit though that most of those times is because I like to or want to, but sometimes I'm also forced to.
However when I am keeping to myself, I try to enjoy myself as much as I can. Let me tell you, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. LOL.
Well in my life not much is really going on. You can say it's not too amusing. Actually in part I'm trying to bring myself more out of the crisis I was facing, which lasted for like 5 years or so. I can say there's been progress, but there's always pitfalls and I'm still far from my goal.
Me too I urge for the weekend to come, and hope something fun will come up.
I wish you a very good day and weekend too. Thanks for listening.

P.S. Can you believe I'm 20? I still can't! I don't know if to feel old or young now.

Whatsup girl? I was glad you wrote back. I am wondering what you have been dealing with for the last five years. Does this include the family and friend drama? I was just curious, so if you want to share, I would love to listen. I can't believe I am not in my twenties anymore! It is kind of depressing but I still feel the same. Well you are just at the beginning and I think it gets better. Just the number is annoying, but everything else is cool.
Do you ever feel lonely without having people in your life? I even have trouble staying away from toxic and negative people because of my great need for social interaction. Not that I don't have good friends, because I really do. IT has just been hard for me to get over life long friendships that are difficult and hurtful. I am such a sap. I can also be very confrontational when I feel attacked or accused of something. These are my downfalls. I am trying to get better. I have considered therapy but so far I have never been. I am still working on that.
You are right, it would be the BEST thing to get out of my neighborhood and hopefully someday I will be in a better place. It is annoying to feel such animoscity when I am usually the one trying to keep the peace. You can't make other people change so I have definitely adjusted my own responses.
I can tell that for your age you have a lot of maturity and wise insight, I am guessing you have had your share of difficult times that have given you such clarity and understanding of things. Most people at 20 are very self absorbed and unaware of dynamics between people. I was always ultra aware of everything, since I was little. I have been the one who can read a situation or person and figure out what is going on underneath. IT doesn't help that I am ultra sensitive as well. I can feel people's feelings and sometimes it is overwhelming. At least on this site, I try to be of a comfort or help to those that are feeling terrible. IT helps me too.
I was also wondering, what are you goals or aspirations for your future. What is it that you love to do? Has there been anything that has gotten in the way of that? How do you feel about your situation now?
Well I don't want to seem nosy but I don't want this to be all about me. I like to hear about other people too. I wish I knew how to change my picture I am so out of the loop! I swear my daughter knows more about computers than me. Not very impressive of me!
I am so friggin glad it is Friday. I am going with my friend to the mall for a pedicure and then I am going out tonight to hang with some friends and have some drinks. Yeah me! I need it too. So what are you up to for this weekend? Anything fun and exciting. It is three days off for me. OK I will be back!
Happy FRIDAY!
P.S. YOu are young silly, 20 is just beginning.

Shattered go to your profile and to Edit Photo and then do your thing... tell me if it doesn't work and I will have Grady get on here and tell you step by step... I miss you. Start

Shatteredsoul, you're only as old as you feel. Or as young as you feel, or something like that. But it's true. So don't let yourself get depressed over some number, nor by a wrinkle or whatever comes with the years.
Well, to be really honest, it isn't only the last five years that have bothered me, it's practically my whole life. Believable or not, since I was in my mother's tummy I was already going through hard times. And it just kept going and going, but it basically exploded those five years ago. Everything was piled up, and that caused me to go into a deep depression, one of those in which you just think of killing yourself. But being inclined to talk to God, I never made any attempt, because he gave me hope. Ever since being a little girl, I felt that God was there with me. That even though I was suffering, he still was there for me in a way or another.
Yes many times I doubted because things kept happening to me, so I was asking myself why he would let that happen to me. But I learned that things happen for a reason.
In difference to you, for most I feel actually a very immature person, then sometimes I feel mature. But I can definitely say I have gone through things I really wish I hadn't.
And I really appreciate that you like to help people feel better... so do I a lot of times am inclined to wanting to make people feel good or have a soft place or something. Perhaps it's because I myself don't quite have that soft place to land... there can be millions of people around me, yet I can feel in the middle of nowhere, all alone. Of course that doesn't happen all the time, if not, imagine what would've happened to me already.
But well anyway, as I mentioned before, I am beginning to get out of the midst of those five gloomy years I passed. So I feel better, things look a bit more clear, not yet enough though. And yes there's something that has kept me from my goals and it's been exactly those five years of gloom.
Anyway I love to do many things, yet I don't know if I'll ever get to one of those goals. I hope to. You know what, it's funny you should mention your daughter knows more about computers. Because it's logical that kids today are very good at technology, being that they're born exposed to it a lot. In school now you almost can't do things right unless you have a computer. But it's not only technology to which I think kids are very exposed to, there's many other things that maybe they shouldn't be dealing with in their age. So they end up being mature for their age. In general today's kids know a lot more than what they should or at least what today's adults wouldn't have known.
Ok so I hope I didn't sound confusing or anything like that. I'm also very excited the weekend is coming, but I don't have plans yet. I'll be waiting for something fun to come up. Have a GREAT weekend!

Dear Shattered,
Does ignoring them REALLY work? We have nasty neighbors who constantly harass us. The Cops say ignore them. Our Landlord says ignore them. My wife's parents say ignore them. We have been trying to ignore them for three months now and it's not working, they are still harassing us. How long did you have to ignore your bad neighbors before they stopped treating you badly?

Sometimes ignoring them really does work but yet I don't take kindly to getting harassed either. I would have to say I draw the line at any physical attack or any verbal attack. I don't know how you are being bothered by your neighbors but I would consider moving if I were you. 3 months is a long time to deal with people bothering you. I exploded on two of my neighbors when I felt like I was getting backed into a corner, needless to say, they haven't bothered me since. Have you spoken your mind and let them know you aren't going to be bullied? I ignore people who are idiots but if they are more abusive in some way, it will not just stop by ignoring them. YOU must address the problem if not directly, with the police there so you can file a report. YOU cannot allow yourselves to uncomfortable in your own home.

I don't think my tolerance level is as high as yours so I don't always have the proper response to these kind of situations. I get angry when I am attacked. I don't know why but I do. Sometimes I am calm and other times I am like a steam roller. I hope your situation improves. Do not allow yourself to be pushed into a corner, you don't deserve that kind of treatment from anyone.

What I'd say would be that there are different situations, along with different people. Sometimes what works with some people doesn't work with others, so in that case, ignoring harrasers might work for some but not for others. Also like shattered said, there is definitely a line. When you feel like you are really being bullied you should speak up, speak your mind perhaps. And let them know you're not up for that, and that you are not just going to run away from the problem without giving a fight for your rights to live in peace where you choose to. By the way Hi Shattered!

Meterre-----Hello there and yes, you are absolutely correct!! Every situation and each person must be handled differently, especially when you are dealing with ignorant, ill mannered people, who may or may not be mature enough to hear what you are saying. By definition, a nasty person most likely will ignore anything other than what they believe or see to be true. They most likely feel justified in STEAM ROLLING over people and then get either defensive or angry when called on it. That doesn't mean it should go unnoticed or unchecked. People should be accountable for their behavior and their actions, although some battles are not worth the fight. IN the end, usually KARMA comes around and kicks them in the for their nasty ways.. and we don't always have to respond, retaliate or get even.
I have found that the most difficult people will be somewhat disarmed when you treat them kindly, and yet others continue to lash out and treat people like garbage. I have found that I am NOT responsible for always responding but making sure also that my kindness is NEVER mistaken for weakness.
I do not need to fight, but I will not be walked on either. Does that make sense??

Start, a steam roller I am.. sometimes

Perfect sense Shattered. You sure have learned quite a bit from your own experience... although learning it sometimes hard way. I really don't know what those people who do that get from it, or want to. However it seems that they never have their fill of it. Not liking a certain person, can at times be understandable so to speak, and perhaps the reason they would do that. But a different thing is that in fact they just like doing it for no apparent reason.
Now speaking as a believer I would say that I've experienced that when you leave the problem up to God he certainly adresses it, and solves it. Without you having to get too mixed in or lowered to do the same kind of thing back at them. And it all works out just.
True though that people do need to be accountable for what they do. If kids are taught to be accountable for misbehaving more likely should a grown adult.

My daughter has been very disrespectful towards me later. She also wants to have her boy friend in her room all night long, when I Tell her her can't stay she is more anger with me she even talks back to me more now then ever. She is 21 years old.