My 21 yrs old is out of control. She is mouthy, always right and a control freak. She have her apartment but will not leave my house, did I mention she hads two children. What can be done?

Ask her if something is wrong or going on in her life that she doesn't want to stay at her own place. Then tell her how you feel and try to work out the problems. Just remember that you will both alwayes love each other.

If she crosses the line, and disrespects you or your home, then you tell her to get out. If she wants to talk ask her what's up? Be a good listener.

So if she will not respect you, have her thrown out of your home ?
Feeling sorry for her, loving her, can all be done, but in your own home, she has duty to respect you.

Sounds like she's been spoiled. Perhaps you should quit doing that and let her go for awhile. Maybe she needs to grow as a person and you being around is hindering that process.

Change the locks on the door, keep the doors locked and don't invite her in if she just shows up. Just throw on your sweater or something before you answer, go out the back door, walk around to the front and say, "Let's take the kids to the park!". If she wants to come in, tell her you are just on your way out and suggest that she call next time. When she calls and wants to get together do it either in public or at her place. If she acts rude, disrespectful, etc. just quietly pick up your jacket, say "I love you, honey, but I really have to go now." and leave. She should begin to put two and two together soon, and if not, at least you don't have to put up with it anymore.

Also, when she is not mouthy, rude, know-it-all, etc. - reward her! Comment on how nice it feels to talk to her without feeling like you don't know anything or like she doesn't respect you as her mother or an older person. Praise goes a long way, especially with immature people.

Hope this helps!

Didi