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View Full Version : Its my Boyfriend SELFISH?


magip202007
Jun 3, 2007, 06:29 PM
Ive been with my Boyfriend for 4 years and we have a 2 year old little boy, were no married but we are living together. He doesn't let me go anywhere to enjoy myself or take a "break" and he goes out all the time I feel like I'm too young to just stay home and wait up!! What should I do?? :mad:

danielnoahsmommy
Jun 3, 2007, 06:30 PM
Speak up. Tell him you need a break. And then take one

talaniman
Jun 3, 2007, 09:15 PM
Get mom to babysit and away you go.

Rockabilly1955mama
Jun 3, 2007, 09:17 PM
I agree with the other users. Tell him the way you're feeling and get out of the house for a night.

PrincessChu-chi1312
Jun 3, 2007, 09:35 PM
Take your child and leave cause if he can go out and you can't he isn't worth it and he's disrespecting you if he dose that he might be with another women of all you know.

magip202007
Jun 4, 2007, 03:53 PM
Im 20 year old and I have a beautiful little boy who is 2. I feel like I'm very depressed I feel like the whole world is against me, I feel like if I do something wrong my world will crash on me. I don't want my child to see this in me I want him to be happy... What or who can help!! :(??

J_9
Jun 4, 2007, 06:35 PM
I can sympathize with you. I felt this way with my first two children.

Make an appointment with your doctor, just a GP to start. You can start there with a physical, discuss this with him/her, make sure it is not something physical, then he/she can refer you further if necessary.

kellkell
Jun 4, 2007, 09:19 PM
We've all been there. You have to do something for yourself. Something that will make you feel good. It could be as simple as an at-home pedicure or going for a walk in a place with nice scenery to going for a massage or dinner with some girlfriends.

Being a mom is wonderful but you still need to take the time for feeling like a woman. It doesn't mean that you are bad, it means that you are creating balance within your life. I do agree with J_9 if you feel a more deeply rooted or intense sense of depression. We shouldn't be afraid to talk to our healthcare professionals. They've heard it all.

jammykit
Jun 6, 2007, 04:18 PM
Ive been with my Boyfriend for 4 years and we have a 2 year old little boy, were no married but we are living together. He dosent let me go anywhere to enjoy myself or take a "break" and he goes out all the time i feel like im too young to just stay home and wait up!!!! what should i do?????:mad:
Hi reaading that sounds like what I was like sitting in waiting well the best thing you can do is take your kid out for the day and have a good time den sit an tell him what your feeling I no its hard an he might not listen but den a least you feel a bit better if that don't work start living life without him and hell soon want to be wit you and your boy

geordielass1101
Jun 23, 2007, 01:51 PM
Hi

I was 17 when I had my first child and felt the way you do. I was so depressed and felt isolated. Sometimes they say you have to hit rock bottom before you can pick yourself back up. I agree slighty with this, however do not go through this depresion on your own. Do you have any friends / family who you trust and can talk to. If so tell them honestly how you feel, even if it means sobbing your heart out. Better to get it of your chest to somebody else instead of the four walls. If this option is not possible please speak to a doctor who may prescribe you anti depressants (which do help) and may advise you see a cousellor. Do you attend a mother and toddler group? Why not search for one in your local area and meet other mothers who some may feel the same. Have you any interests? You could look at joining a club or going to college for a course. Most colleges offer child care facilities.

I hope you find your way out of the depression your in.

Take care

magip202007
Jul 25, 2007, 01:20 PM
Im 20 years old, and I have a 2 year old little boy name jacob. I'm in a relationship where I can't find a way out. My boyfriend/baby father is very abusive and I feel like I can't go no where because it will affect Jacob. He really doesn't have a steady job and I do. I've tried to leave him 5 times already but it seem that jacob and him can't be apart. It really hurt me to see my son miss his dad. Im not married but I'm very depressed he treats me like if I'm not worth anything.Im 20. Why does this happened to me? Why do I feel like the whole world shuts down on me.

GlindaofOz
Jul 25, 2007, 01:24 PM
Please, please, please do not stay for your son. It will not be beneficial to him at all. What will be beneficial to him is to have a mother. This man could escalate his abuse to the point where he may kill you what would Jacob do then?

Please talk to someone you trust and leave. You can do it and it will be better. You are worth plenty - you are someone's Mommy that is the most important thing in the world.

firmbeliever
Jul 25, 2007, 01:37 PM
Im 20 years old, and i have a 2 year old little boy name jacob. I'm in a relationship where i can't find a way out. My boyfriend/baby father is very abusive and i feel like i can't go no where because it will affect Jacob. He really dosent have a steady job and i do. I've tried to leave him 5 times already but it seem that jacob and him can't be apart. It really hurt me to see my son miss his dad. Im not married but im very depressed he treats me like if im not worth anything.Im 20. Why does this happend to me? why do i feel like the whole world shuts down on me.


http://www.womencareshelter.org/violence/abuse.html
http://www.ndvf.org.uk/What-is-domestic-abuse_9_9_info.php
http://www.metrac.org/programs/info/prevent/native.htm
http://www.narika.org/index.php?mode=aboutus
http://www.garda.ie/angarda/crimeprevent7.html

Hope these help you fast in getting out of the abusive relationship...

s_cianci
Jul 25, 2007, 05:45 PM
Just what type of abuse have you been subject to? Usually a spouse abuser also abuses the children as well. It doesn't seem that Jacob is the victim of any abuse. I would hope that that's the case but I find that hard to believe. Either way, if you are being abused as you say you are, you need to get yourself and Jacob out of there. Don't feel guilty by Jacob missing his father. If he isn't already abusing Jacob then it's just a matter of time. As his mother you have the duty to protect him from that. If you don't then you're just as culpable as the father. Pack your and Jacob's bags, take off and don't look back.

bushg
Jul 25, 2007, 06:03 PM
Magip When your b f is abusing you he is also abusing your son. When someone mistreats you that impedes your ability to take care of your child properly. You can not be the mother you want to be, or your whom your son needs you to be when you are walking on egg shells. If he is hitting at you or screaming you can count on it your child hears it! So, yes he is abusing your son in a sense as well. No one but you can change how you let another person treat you. There are laws in place to protect women and children. There is counseling to help you figure out why you feel as though you have to accept this. There are places to live other than with the abuse if you so choose. You have to decide how much you are willing to take from this man,because it will not get better on its own. If you do nothing then in 1 year 2 years, 3 years everything will be the same , except your son, who will be scared from watching this go on between his parents. Good luck and may you find peace.

bushg
Jul 31, 2007, 05:08 PM
Magip thank you. I really hope that you get help for you and your child. It is everywhere you just have be willing to take it. I can see from your post that you are strong. It takes a strong woman to hold down a job, and to take care of her child while being abused. The help is out there please find it.

Reasons
Jan 6, 2011, 07:26 PM
All I have to say is if a man lays his hand on you etc it will neverr change no matter what...
He will tell you he has changed... and its also a benefit for your boyfriend to have jacob around because that tells him that no matter how bad he treats you... he knows you will come back due to having jacob around... why don't u pack your things and leave and allow time of the week for jacob and dad to spend time together... I know your doing this all for your child... however you need to think what if he hurts jacob one day? Its just a thought... so I think you should do something now.. before it gets worse