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wanjiru
Jun 1, 2007, 03:25 AM
This guy wants me to get married and we have just stayed for 4months in our relationship, he also suggest that I get pregnant. Am willing to get pregnant but not to get married . Does he want to me to get pregnant so that he can win to marry me? I want to spend my life time with him but getting married is too early for me.
Advise me on what to do.

Clough
Jun 1, 2007, 03:54 AM
Say "no" to marriage. Say "no" to getting pregnant. Who's in charge of you? Him or you? Four months together is way to soon to think about having getting married and having a family. I made that same mistake many years ago. I know that others may differ with me on this, but it takes a long time to get to really know someone and be able to make the commitments that will hopefully, last a lifetime.

If he really values you as a person, then he will respect those things that you want for yourself as long as they are healthy things. That is part of what love is about. If you think that you are too young to get married, then that is your choice and you are probably thinking logically. Probably much more so than he is. You may have things in your life that you need to do in order to make your life more fulfilling for you. I would concentrate on those things first if I were you.

I would suggest challenging him with questions concerning what he would do if he were in a long-term relationship such as marriage. Things like supporting children and taking care of a family. Depending on the answers that he provides, it will show you if he is the kind of person with whom you will want to spend the rest of your life with.

Bringing another life into this world is no less than an awesome responsibility. Children really do need a mother and a father. We can't escape the fact that we are male and female human beings on this planet. The unit of the family is one of the things that keeps us going as being humans.

I am hopeful that others will provide their insights to the question that you have posed.

SereneAegis
Jun 1, 2007, 06:22 AM
Please don't marry him or get pregnant with his baby after 4 months!

People are complex creatures with lengthy histories. You don't even know if this guy is a psycho freak or a child beater or murderer or ANYTHING. : / 4 months is nothing compared to a lifetime. I got engaged when I was 19 to my first boyfriend after 6 months and we moved in together. We were going to get married within the first year of being together, but it turns out he was a divorcée and he was abusive. I had things taken away from me during that time that I'm still trying to get back and I'm 22 now.

It's too fast.

I've been with my current boyfriend for a year and there is still a lot I don't know about him. I won't lie... I wouldn't oppose being engaged at this point for me to feel secure (long story), but I WOULD NEVER MARRY THIS GUY FOR A LONG, LONG TIME! If we even DO marry.

If your guy truly loves you, he will wait. Don't let yourself turn into his tool :(