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View Full Version : I just started dating a girl who has a boyfriend. What should I do?


tooconfused
May 28, 2007, 09:00 PM
Hey,

I'm 19 yr old guy that recently met an 18 yr old girl. She was a friend I knew from before, I think she was interested in me a long time ago when I had a girlfriend (we broke up). I asked her how she was, and she said that she had a boyfriend (of 6 months).

So when we met up, her first question was what happened to me and my girlfriend. Later that day, she asked to use my phone and saved her house number on it and actually showed it to me (as if she wanted me to call her.)

So we ended up watching a movie at my house with a bunch of my friends and hers. While watching the movie, she sat beside me and actually put her arm around me. She kept rubbing my back, hugging me, leaning her head on mine, she even grabbed my hand and started rubbing on it. So when I dropped her off home, she was eager to be alone with me. We sat outside her front door and she immediately hugged me tight and asked why me and my girlfriend broke up. I couldn't help myself and we made out right there. She asked me to call her, and I told her to call me instead. (since she had a boyfriend)

I know some girls who cheat on their boyfriends and are complete players but this girl isn't the type.

I just got the off the phone with her, and I asked her out again. She said she's busy tomorrow (her friends b-day) and "doesn't know" when she can go out again. Now, usually... I throw a girls number out the garbage if she cancels or refuses to go out. But this one is tricky.

Yes I am a bad person for doing this, but I can't help it. I guess my question is, is she still interested in me? Because I would never say "i don't know" to someone I was interested in.

I don't want to walk away from this YET... what should I do?
Is she still interested?
Do you think she'll want to see me again?

Thanks in advance

jstrike
May 28, 2007, 09:22 PM
You're not a bad person... you're human. If she's interested in you then she needs to break it off with her current boy friend, if she doesn't do that then she's off limits. Period.

tooconfused
May 28, 2007, 09:46 PM
How much time should I give this girl?

I don't want to grow too attached to her. I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, and I want to keep it that way.

What should I do for now to keep her interested?
Should I call to ask her out?
Should I wait it out?

jstrike
May 28, 2007, 09:56 PM
That's a tough call to make...
I'd tell her straight out that you'd like to go out with her but that you won't because she's involved with someone else. How long you wait for that to happen depends on how strongly you feel about her but personally I wouldn't wait too long. If she's serious about dumping the other guy then she'll do it sooner rather than later.

Skell
May 28, 2007, 10:09 PM
I would not be pursuing anything with this girl until she has left her boyfriend, and even then I would be hesitant for a while and it would depend on many other things.

How long has she been with him?

I would be making it perfectly clear to her though that you think it is wrong to go behind her boyfriends back and that she should not call you until she has left her current boyfriend and she is ready to date again.

DaTruth123
May 30, 2007, 10:20 AM
you should leave her alone you say she is not the player type yeah right what is she doing now. what if she dumps her boyfriend and lets just say yall got together and she happens to see someone she used to date how would you feel if she did the same thing to you. She is the player type she did that she is currently in a relationship now theres no if's ands , buts about it. her boyfriend dont know what shes doing you can't call her at home what does that say PLAYER PLAYER PLAYER . put your feelings in your pocket where she is concern dont say i didnt say i told you so.

fix-what-you-broke
May 30, 2007, 10:48 AM
"I know some girls who cheat on their boyfriends and are complete players but this girl isn't the type."
I'm sorry I must have missed something... she is the type, she has a boyfriend and she is leading you on as well as him. You don't need this drama, there's enough drama in regular relationship without having a pissed off boyfriend on your back for stealing his girl.
Tell her if she wants you to leave her man and be with you full time, if she isn't willing to do that then walk away and don't contact her again, if she can cheat on her boyfriend she can cheat on you with the next guy.

Rockabilly1955mama
May 30, 2007, 10:58 AM
First off, you are not a bad person. If she truly likes you, you need to tell her to break it off between either you or him.


She can't have her cake and eat it and the same time.

tooconfused
May 30, 2007, 11:08 AM
Thanks for the replies guys,

But listen. It's only been a couple of days. Obviously if this drags on, then hell yeah, I'm out of there. But for now I'm just wondering where this is going to go.

Now here's the messed up part (You will probably think I'm the biggest a**hole in the world), but I want to see if I can get her.

Is there anything I can do for her to be with me? Tips?
Do you think she's interested in being with me?
And how do i know if shes playing me... or if shes interested in being with me????

Hopefully I don't get struck by lightning.. lol
Thanks guys.

Rockabilly1955mama
May 30, 2007, 11:13 AM
The only thing you can do is be yourself and nothing more. You do not want to make her seem like you're this wonerfull. Best guy on planet earth (Not saying that you aren't :) ) and then when she realizes who you really are, she won't like you as much as you made yourself seem.


And no worries about the lightning, the weather seems clear for the next week. :D

rigged pin
Feb 25, 2008, 05:34 PM
Well i.d say look at it this way what if YOU were her crunent boyfriend and she made out with someone what you still like her ?
Id she is a player by what you said

Delow84
Feb 25, 2008, 05:39 PM
I read an interesting quote/comment although I don't remember who wrote it

But if she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. Personally I wouldn't be able to respect, much less TRUST someone who cheated on a partner, regardless of the circumstances.

I never thought my ex would cheat, it's funny how people can always surprise us with what they are capable of doing.

Just be careful, don't pursue anymore until she breaks it off, even then take it SLOW. Don't set yourself up to be hurt.

talaniman
Feb 25, 2008, 09:36 PM
I know some girls who cheat on their boyfriends and are complete players but this girl isn't the type.

Wake up dude, she is playin' her b/f, and she will play you. And all you can think about is getting her, sure you can, but you will pay her price her way. If you can't see that, your way out of your league.

JL FANATIC
Feb 28, 2008, 08:37 AM
Im 27 yrs old, I guess you don't believe fat meat is greasy until you get slapped in the face with it. She is a player. Stop, let her know you don't mess around with girls who are in relationships. Life is a , what goes around comes around now you know.

emopunk7
Feb 28, 2008, 10:15 AM
You're just going to have to wait for her call. Until then enjoy life my friend.

newpicoso10
Oct 28, 2010, 03:31 PM
You need to sit her down and explain that you want to go out with her and tell her your not going to wait around for her 9even if you actually will) if she really wants you then she will be fine breaking up with him but understand breaking up with someone can be hard if you don't want to hurt them and think you will