halfpint27
May 23, 2007, 11:33 AM
I'm a 26 year old wife and mother I love my family but things ant working out for me. I've had problems sense I was a child I was teased alout made fun of and I was clumsey always breaking stuff tearing stuff up on accdent making people upset with me and saying stuff at the wrong time I even made my own little world with people in it I made parents for me and cousins to and friends I even gave myself a different name every body was different iwould talk to them like they were in the same room with me I knew they would not answer me I don't why I did it no body not even my parents knew about it but me bacouse I did it in privet I also talked to myself it was ambressing also I was a messy person I and when I did clean it was pointless I could clean and clean and not get nowere my dad would come in there and conplain bacouse nothing was getting done. Non of the boys in school wanted to go out with me eather until the 12 grade I met this guy through my brother he was older than me I still have the some of the same problems I have troubles cleaning house and when do clean I happy thinking I'm doing good and get somithing done the house still looks like a mess I guess I'm really slow or something I don't know? I still talk to myself some times I still find myself acting out the world I maid up when I was a kid I can't keep a job eather they say I am to slow and I wander of sometimes I really want to help my husdand pay the bills and get the stuff we need but I can't I'm also a tom boy to I want to work on cars for a liven I like to do boy stuff when we started going out he thought it was neat we've been together for 9 years married for 7 in oct. and now he acts like it bothers him he even told me the other day that he I act like a man a little I wanbt to act more like a woman for him I have troubles making friends to espicsally female I've had troubles in the past with woman saying thair my friend and then behind my back try ing to get my husand in bed or trying to get him to run off with them so why have friends if they are going to try to still my husband from me I even get uncomfertable around men to if my husband has more than 2 people at our house at wance I hide in my room or I have to go on awalk espically if one of our female nabours come over all I want to do is hide out tell they leave I know people think I'm weard it's embarissing bad I don't know what's wrong with me I want be somebody else I think if be come someone else things will be different the person I am now will no longer excist any more I will be a totley different. Different personalty different likes and dislikes different dreams to I love my family mady if I become someone else my husband will like to hang out with me more andc stuff like that and I want be so emdarresed about my life any more he says he loves me and don't want to ever leave me he wants to spind the rest of his life with me but I feel like the friendship part of our relashinp is gone maby if I become a different person people will hang out with me and I want be so boring and I want have such a amberassing life that I'm ashamed of any more I don't see no other way out should I do it? And if you don't think I should do it I would like know what you think I should do bacouse I've ran out of answers.