I'm a 26 year old wife and mother I love my family but things ant working out for me. I've had problems sense I was a child I was teased alout made fun of and I was clumsey always breaking stuff tearing stuff up on accdent making people upset with me and saying stuff at the wrong time I even made my own little world with people in it I made parents for me and cousins to and friends I even gave myself a different name every body was different iwould talk to them like they were in the same room with me I knew they would not answer me I don't why I did it no body not even my parents knew about it but me bacouse I did it in privet I also talked to myself it was ambressing also I was a messy person I and when I did clean it was pointless I could clean and clean and not get nowere my dad would come in there and conplain bacouse nothing was getting done. Non of the boys in school wanted to go out with me eather until the 12 grade I met this guy through my brother he was older than me I still have the some of the same problems I have troubles cleaning house and when do clean I happy thinking I'm doing good and get somithing done the house still looks like a mess I guess I'm really slow or something I don't know? I still talk to myself some times I still find myself acting out the world I maid up when I was a kid I can't keep a job eather they say I am to slow and I wander of sometimes I really want to help my husdand pay the bills and get the stuff we need but I can't I'm also a tom boy to I want to work on cars for a liven I like to do boy stuff when we started going out he thought it was neat we've been together for 9 years married for 7 in oct. and now he acts like it bothers him he even told me the other day that he I act like a man a little I wanbt to act more like a woman for him I have troubles making friends to espicsally female I've had troubles in the past with woman saying thair my friend and then behind my back try ing to get my husand in bed or trying to get him to run off with them so why have friends if they are going to try to still my husband from me I even get uncomfertable around men to if my husband has more than 2 people at our house at wance I hide in my room or I have to go on awalk espically if one of our female nabours come over all I want to do is hide out tell they leave I know people think I'm weard it's embarissing bad I don't know what's wrong with me I want be somebody else I think if be come someone else things will be different the person I am now will no longer excist any more I will be a totley different. Different personalty different likes and dislikes different dreams to I love my family mady if I become someone else my husband will like to hang out with me more andc stuff like that and I want be so emdarresed about my life any more he says he loves me and don't want to ever leave me he wants to spind the rest of his life with me but I feel like the friendship part of our relashinp is gone maby if I become a different person people will hang out with me and I want be so boring and I want have such a amberassing life that I'm ashamed of any more I don't see no other way out should I do it? And if you don't think I should do it I would like know what you think I should do bacouse I've ran out of answers.

Snap out of it. Your married and you've made a commitment to god and to your family until death do you part. We all get emotional, have our own nervous breakdowns. You will never know who your TRUE friends are until something bad happens to you. You seem like a good person, just confused on certain aspects of life.

If your friends are wanting to take your husband away and sleep with him, then that should tell you you've pickedd the wrong set of friends.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself you are smart, you just going through some rough times.

Look in the yellow pages and look up some type of counseling help, through the church!

Life is too short!! Don't MESS IT UP!! Everyone is beautiful and special in their own way.

Hope this cheers you up and makes you think to move on and take one day at at time!

Ok, so maybe you are "slow" if so, your husband loved you when he married you and so you like working on cars, he was attracted to you. You haven't changed. You are still the person he fell in love with and still loves. I understand that you want to better yourself. That is commendable we all want to learn new things, try new hairstyles but don't throw away everything. Sound like you may benefit from some psychological testing. I am not saying there is anything wrong with you at all but testing will reveal you strengths and weaknesses and then you know where to start with the improvements you want to make. If you have problems with your job the testing may reveal what type of job you would be better at. I also would suggest that you and your husband find a church family. They are great support and would be good place to meet friends.

Everything has a way of working out as long as you keep faith in yourself. You have a lot going for you. Don't gove up.

Find some one to talk to. Go to any church and ask for help. They can point you to some help.

Your happiness will ultimately come from within you.

God bless and good luck.