View Full Version : Baby Shower For Unwed Mother
 
 jklivin
May 22, 2007, 08:33 PM
I work with a girl who is expecting her second child. Here is my dilemma. This is her second child out of wedlock. Her first child is only a year and a half old. The father is a unreliable guy and only come surround when HE feels like it. The other girls that I work with feel sorry for her and want to give her a little help. We all put our money surround and bought her a really nice stroller/corset combo. Others are giving more. Corset that she should be a big girl and take care of her children herself. Am I being a really bad person if I don't contribute mor than my stroller share?:confused::confused:
 gypsy456
May 22, 2007, 08:41 PM
No, why would you ? 
 
You contribute to the stroller which in itself is already a nice gesture. 
 
When other people want to do a bit more, that's their decision. 
 
Don't feel pressured. 
 
Just do it because you want to. 
When you don't, then don't.
 NowWhat
May 23, 2007, 01:43 PM
Absouletly not! Traditionally, she would not get a shower for a second child - especially so close to the last child.  Sometimes, you might have a "diaper" shower or a "covered dish" party for the 2nd.  But to go all out on a second child doesn't happen often - unless there a plenty of years between them. 
 
Saying that - does she not have supplies from her 1st child?
 danielnoahsmommy
May 23, 2007, 01:50 PM
Anything you can do to help I am sure would be greatly appreciated.  Good for you.
 LadyB
May 23, 2007, 09:37 PM
You could help more if you wish to, but there is no obligation to have a shower for a second child, whether the mom is wed or unwed.
 
In my community women often give a "Mom's Party" for a second child, offering gifts for destressing such as spa gift certificates, a full housecleaning, and bath oils, as well as bring dinners over for at least a week after baby comes home so mom doesn't have to cook.
 VTOnline
Jul 11, 2010, 11:12 AM
It is the thought and principle not the act or deed, done that is greatest. The fact YOU and your friends have even considered help is a testament to your principles of love, care and friendship.  Well done.
The Act or Deed is a bonus and only a token of gesture to the true nature of your giving.
I say She should learn from your deeds and look after the kids and treasure your gift of giving and lending a hand.
 
Check out an awesome recource and info here about other ideas.
http://fitnesshealthvt.com/babyshowers
 dontknownuthin
Jul 19, 2010, 08:49 PM
I'm a little mystified by a corset/stroller combination - sounds like a pretty uncomfortable corset!  Anyway, if you contributed to one gift for a workplace shower, you've done your bit and needn't do more, nor explain why not.  
 
As others pointed out, typically showers are only given for the first baby.  Personally I am not a fan of the workplace shower which obligates people to part with part of their paycheck before they even leave the premises - I think it's nice for the employer to give a gift (ideally a check or gifts certificate) and leave it at that.
 JudyKayTee
Jul 25, 2010, 08:01 AM
Please keep an eye on dates - this is from 2007.