There is this guy from work that I have been getting to know really well for a while now. I'm still getting to know him as I have discovered he sort of has two sides.

1. a nice quiet, lovely, flirty, caring etc side when its just the two of us, and its like WOAH perfect as he is just amazin

2. but he also has this "im cool and hard" side when he is around his mates. I have seen him to be quite aggressive at times towards some of his mates, and he thinks its funny to be cocky (he is like that with me, but I know its joking)

But then when its just the two of us recently I have noticed a lot of our conversations have come down to trust, like he would say to me "ill smack ya" as a joke obviously, but then if he went to do it (again obviously he wouldn't, so therefore I would flinch) and he said that is strong trust. But all the time he goes on about how he could never hurt me, and even if we had a massive argument he would still adore me as he can't get cross with me. A lot of our conversations relate back to him never hurting me and how I should be lucky considering the type of guy he is.

It confuses me, because obviously he is trying to reassure me that he would never hurt me, but why does he keep bringin it up because it just makes me think more as to what if? And I'm just wondering if he has heard from someone how much I fear an abusive relationship?

Please help me out guys

The guy is obviously going to hit you at some point. Most guys will show you what they are really like underneath all the showmanship when they are drunk. So if he is still warm and caring when drunk - the whole thing is for show for his mates - that just makes him an idiot and immature, so probably worth dumping anyway.

If he is aggressive or loudmouthed when drunk - he really is the sort of guy you need to dump immediately.

Either way - with so many guys out there why would you want to settle for one that is even slightly wrong? Leave him for some other shmuck to pick up and thank your lucky stars you didn't end up like "that woman".

Just my 2 cents worth.

Most people have a good and bad side. You don't know the extent of either side yet, but his whole conversation, and his trying to convince you of how you can trust him, is a red flag and you should be very cautious now, as he seems to be baiting a hook, rather than getting to know you.