Hi Everyone!
My 15 yr old son admitted to going with his 20 yr old friend to a neighbors home and watch him break in. Nothing was stolen. They have been friends since they were young. My son admitted it was dumb and we left it at that. A few days later, police came to our home looking for a gun! They found some things his older friend had given him, and my son told them he remembered seeing some guns in his older friends bedroom. They found it when they went over there, with only the older boys prints on it. They released my son to me after they had picked him up from school without me knowing, and put him on house arrest for now they said because they knew my son was involved in all this! My son told them he already told them what he knew, and we asked to talk to an attorney. A few weeks later we get court papers saying my son is charged with 8 counts of burglary and 1 count of armed burglary! OH MY GOD! Can anyone please help us! I am white, my son is Hispanic, we live in an almost all white community out in the country that has always made it very clear that they did not want us here... I am worried about this in particular, with everything happening in this country right now... I have never been in trouble before either, a few speeding tickets and some domestic abuse from former husband beating me, but this is a witch hunt! They profiled my son even before they had any evidence, believing this older boy, whom they probably scared half to death and gave a lesser sentence to, he is disabled mentally to top all this off! Why are they treating my sons first offense so strangely, it doesn't make sense! Thanks to anyone who can help!:eek:

First when the police came to your house, you don't let them in, and you don't talk to the police without an attorney,

He gave them the evidence, he gave them statements, You need a very very good attorney at this pontand time, this is very serious. Hopefully they just want to make a deal with him so they charged more than they want to make a deal,

I would say that they are going by evidence and statements, they can not convict on just the testomony of a co defendant they will have to have other evidence, but from now on, don't talk to them, don't let them come in, get an attorney

Thanks for trying to help, Fr.Chuck!
I know better than to make things worse for my son by saying things I really am not sure about myself. We haven't talked about this to anyone in the legal field since then, my ex husband is trying to find a good attorney, and I think that's just what they don't want. I already tried to release the appointed one by the state, and they seemed angry that I was trying to do that! It was very strange indeed. I have a friend who was in a lot of trouble when he was younger, and he straightened himself out and is now a supervisor! and he said he knows all about how awful this county I live in is, and he really thinks I should go to a news station in a big city nearby because he has never heard of such weird treatment himself for a kids first offense! We believe that they probably offered the other kid a lesser sentence if he named others, I've read of this happening to other innocent people in this country, and they go to jail, they find out they were never involved, let some go without even a "sorry"! This country has got to wake up before its too late. Not everyone is out to get them! Especially a 15 yr old boy... The small towns are getting terrified that the big city lifestyle will catch up to them! The young people are rebelling, cannot blame them when they are getting treated so poorly by adults who do not care what happens to them anymore...

Father Chuck gave you some really good advice.

Let me add that you aren't helping your son's case by blaming the county and the "older kid." The fact is, your son did go with the older boy, did watch him break in and steal things.

I don't know about your county, but in my county, that makes your son guilty of the same thing the "older kid" is guilty of. And if the guns were used to kill someone, then your son could also be tried for Felony Manslaughter.

AND... you knew about it and didn't turn in the older kid. So if anything had happened, they could arrest you as well. It would only be a threatening tactic, but if you knew they had broken into this house and stolen things, then you should have spoken up, not waited for them to come arrest your child.

I don't too many public defenders who would object to you paying for an attorney. They lose money when they have to take of "free" cases because the county usually only pays a minimal amount.

But get an attorney. And also make sure that you can't be arrested for Knowledge After the Fact.

We all like to think that our children are perfect, our children are angels, and our children cannot get into trouble, and we tend to blame others for our children getting into trouble. However, I for one, do believe that my children get into trouble, mine are not perfect, and no one is to blame for my children's mistakes except my children.

I totally have to agree with the answers you have above. You are blaming everyone but your son. He was there, he admitted it. You need to stop this "profiling" BS and start being a parent.

Stop blaming everyone else for your child's mistakes. Your child made them now it is time for him to deal with the consequences to his actions.

Mom, you must face the fact that your son was in possession of stolen property and he full well knew it. He also participated in breaking and entering even if he didn't raise a hand. By your story he is guilty of several crimes so the best attorney you can buy is in order. Did you discipline him for his conduct, I sure hope so.

Okay... someone is missing the points here totally...
My son is only 15 yrs old and has NEVER been in trouble before this 20 yr old whom I thought was only 17 talked him into going with him, and my son admitted THAT One home is the only one, then the police are trying to accuse both boys of ALL burglaries that have occurred over the entire winter, our home was broken into also, and most of these places are too far away, AND my son was inside all winter being punished, so he couldn't have done all those other things they claim. People are too easily led to blame without all the facts, and this is what's wrong with this country! My son was never found to have any gun in his room, it was found in the older boys room, and the other boy tried to say that my son had it! The older boy and his brothers have always been in trouble and the entire community knows this as a fact, and the items they found in my sons room are things he accepted from his friend NOT knowing they had previously been stolen, so how in the heck does anyone assume that makes my son guilty of anything... its ridiculous to also assume that I as a mom could have possibly have known about any of this, let alone be ignorant enough to only help my son because he is my son, if I thought for one minute that my son ever did any of these things... I'd be the first to turn him into counseling, not just want to throw him away, he is still just a boy, and has never been around any criminals his entire life, we live way out in the country! I think that America has gotten way out of hand, and are scared of their own shadows now, all because of a bunch of idiots running our country, to want to start thinking that everyone is out to get them, even children! I understood that if the kids had a gun, the police wouldn't want them to get hurt with it, but if you would have seen how they treated a family they did not know, you would have thought it was a witch hunt too...

Mom- the only one missing the point is you.

You admitted that your son confessed that he was with his friend, and his friend broke into a home and stole property. And you admitted that you didn't do a thing about it when he told you.

That alone for your son constitutes breaking and entering, which where I live, is still against the law--even if he is only 15 years old. Fifteen is plenty old enough to know right from wrong.

Second-- I believe just from what you wrote that your son obviously knows his friend has broken into other homes. Which would lead to the next obvious- your son knew some of the "stuff" must have been stolen.

So stop with the paranoid over-defensive "picking on my son" attitude.

Your son broke the law---and you can only hope it was just that one time. Clearly the police think it was more often. Get your son an attorney, and get him into therapy. Get yourself into therapy, too.

The advice of blaming the county is not going to help in court, in fact it will hurt esp if you can't prove anything, so while I understand, and some older boy was the cause, the fact he is made some poor choices, and the few good things, is that first he is only 15, still a minor, and that they only have good evidence and confession of the one crime ( which is bad enough) But if you believe he is not getting a fair hearing, ask for a change of venue, even one county over

So if he is willing to deal and give up everything on the other people, he has a good chance if they are willilng to deal.

Please Don't get me wrong,
I really appreciate everyone's advice. I am just so scared, and my son swears he didn't know any of the things the boy gave him were stolen. I believe the boy was giving those things to my son to hide them out at our home, so he wouldn't get caught with them. It isn't like my son is hanging around a bunch of city thugs, way far from it. We live out in the country, and there really isn't much happening around here, the only bad thing a kid has done so far in our school district is try to threaten a boy with a knife once at the high school, the only really bad things are just staring by us, it is very rare here. The occasional skipping out is really all we have so far. Thank goodness. So that is why all of this just isn't making any sense to me, WHY are the police making such a big deal out of all this, when it is my son who told them about this other boy. WHY would the police believe a boy who is much older and has been in a lot of trouble before with his brothers, and why would they think a 15 yr old who is scared to death himself of getting into trouble really would? He told them it was stupid to go into the yard with the older boy, why don't they listen that my son is sorry. Do they really want to charge two boys with all the crimes in the area because they are too lazy to find the real ones who did this. I am not in denial, my son was never out of the house before the incident with the older boy. He could not have done the other homes with him, this is what perplexes me as to why they are only going on what a previous troublemaker has said... and I think I know who really has done these crimes... My daughter and I during the winter months noticed two different men wearing black hats (we wrote this off as because it was winter no big deal there) that had been driving very slowly past neighbors home, our home, and more than a few times. We thought maybe they were lost, everyone gets lost in this area even when they've been here several times. If I saw pics of these men, I could definitely identify them. When we mentioned this to police, they shrugged this off, and even when we showed them how our own home was broken into also, they didn't even listen..! They laughed! Our windows still have the proof, our shed has broken panels, and we thought someone else did it at the time. I used to work with street people, I usually can tell if someone is lying, and as a mother I tried everything to get my son to tell me the truth if he wasn't, and he hasn't broke down like he usually would if he was wrong about something. It just seems that people give up on these kids too soon... I cannot afford an attorney, I am waiting on my disablity myself right now, and cannot seem to find an attorney who will take a case in this county, because this is considered the poorest county around, no one wants to... I will be at the mercy of a court who could care less, when my son was raped by a neighbor when he was only 6, this court let his rapist go, even after the rapist said he did it, & because the rapist was only 12, (he was almost 6ft tall & white, and babysat for other kids) even though my daughter was a witness, and there was a tape. So if anyone keeps telling me this isn't racial, well, I think my son was a better boy to tell on him even after that older boy threatened his life! My son would not lie even then, what makes me think he would lie now...

Bear with me as I break down your post so that you may see what is happening.


my son swears he didnt know any of the things the boy gave him were stolen.

Don't most 15 year olds hold back the truth so that they do not get into trouble? Hmmm, mine did.


I believe the boy was giving those things to my son to hide them out at our home, so he wouldnt get caught with them.

You believe... but you do not know this for a fact, of course your son will lie to keep out of trouble. Especially if you, mom, don't question him.




EXACTLY!! I live in the country too, you know this happens more than you realize in the country because the children are bored!!

[quote=mysonneil]The occasional skipping out is really all we have so far.

As far as you know. Many things that happen at school are kept private, between principal and school board.


WHY are the police making such a big deal out of all this, when it is my son who told them about this other boy.

Because the stolen property was found in your house, that is why. They just don't take the word of a 15 year old when they found the "goods" in your house.


why dont they listen that my son is sorry.

Sorry doesn't cut it when you break the law. B&E is breaking the law, whether he was the one doing the actual breaking in or was there when it was done. There have to be consequences to actions.


Do they really want to charge two boys with all the crimes in the area because they are too lazy to find the real ones who did this.

What? They did find the ones who did this unless the stolen goods magically appeared in your home.


I think I know who really has done these crimes....

Hun, you THINK you know, but they are the ones who are TRAINED to know.


My daughter and I during the winter months noticed two diffrent men wearing black hats (we wrote this off as because it was winter no big deal there) that had been driving very slowly past neighbors home, our home, and more than a few times. We thought maybe they were lost, everyone gets lost in this area even when they've been here several times.

Do you have a license plate number? If not, it probably will hold little water in court. I know in my area of the country (I live in the boonies too), whenever people get "lost" or there is suspicious activity I always get a plate number just in case something like this does come up.


If I saw pics of these men, I could definately identify them.

Then march down to the local precinct and demand to see any mug shots they may have.


we showed them how our own home was broken into also, they didnt even listen.....!!! They laughed !! Our windows still have the proof, our shed has broken panels, and we thought someone else did it at the time.

Did you file a police report when you discovered this? If not, you cannot prove that this actually happened. Without a police report it sounds like an excuse to them.


You see, we are not convicting your son here, but just trying to show you how all of the evidence points to him. We can make all the excuses for our children that we want, however, the proof is in the pudding, and the pudding was found in your house.

Your son may be innocent, but everything that was found makes him look guilty as charged. You need to find a very good attorney who can pick this case apart.

P.S. How can anyone assume I knew anything about this! And nothing was stolen from the first place my son admitted to... no one knew until I got court papers about the other homes... people are too ready to judge others before all the facts... sometimes I wonder why we even trust having juries... it seems to me, no one is able minded to take on such a task... Are we all so afraid now of everything that the simplest way to deal with it all is to just lock everyone up? If more people truly cared about others instead of only trying to protect their belongings, maybe our children wouldn't resent us so much and get into these more serious crimes... not many are listening to their pleas for help, we only see them as juveniles, not someone's child... all too ready to put it aside, saying, its not my kid, why should we care... all the kids I've seen on this MySpace when I look at my child's profile to make sure she isn't talking to any peds, all say the same thing... either they feel like they want to die, they get drunk to take away the pain... who is listening to their children... NO ONE as far as I can tell when I read what I see with my heart... the children of our nation feel desserted by their own parents... this is all I am seeing, & the depression! Why are our children so depressed? They have all of their lives ahead of them... What is going on here that no one is paying much attention to?? I am a stay home mom who took care of an elderly Korean disabled vet for ten yrs until he recently passed away. I was very fortunate to be able to be with & see my children grow up. This problem I saw had me utterly crying when I read what some of these children had on this site. Every other word is a swear word, every pore is crying out for help. It was the most heart wreatching thing I've ever seen... you should try it some time... it might wake all the parents up... not just me...

Thank you for your insight, I know you are trying to open my eyes a bit more, but believe me, I have wracked my brain trying to find out the truth and to see if I WAS missing anything. My son is totally comfortable with all the video components he had, and also he is very good at fixing them, he wasn't too bored, he just doesn't have any friends in this area, cause no white kids want to hang around a spanish kid. There is an all arian group of kids at his school who always beat him up, and the school won't do anything but give them tickets. This is at least what they told me they did after I'd wanted to press full charges against this group and they wouldn't. (My son has a knee injury from it) It is the weirdest thing I've ever seen... They actually got angry with me when I wanted to charge these boys fully, and then the boys did it again! This county actually thinks they are above the real law here, and burned a black families home down when they tried to stay in this area. This hopefully gives you some insite into what I am dealing with over here...

Also thanks for the mug shot info, I already thought of that, just think they are going to not take it seriously enough, like you said, I didn't get a license number like an idiot, just thought they were lost in the neighborhood. I will do that though, don't really care much if they laugh at me, but what if I AM wrong, I guess its better than not trying to find out at all... and just because my son received something from someone else doesn't automatically mean he knew where those things came from, that's like me asking you to borrow a cup of sugar, and finding out it is artificial sweetner..

Thanks for trying to help, Fr.Chuck!
I've read of this happening to other innocent people in this countryThis country has got to wake up before its too late. Not everyone is out to get them! Especially a 15 yr old boy..............The small towns are getting terrified that the big city lifestyle will catch up to them! The young people are rebelling, cannot blame them when they are getting treated so poorly by adults who do not care what happens to them anymore.........

Unfortunately your son isn't "innocent." Standing by while an accomplice breaks into a house makes him an accessory to a felony. Perhaps some of the charges against him are a bit exaggerated ; it depends on how much concrete evidence the police actually have. But he has to be held responsible for his part in whatever happened. Don't enable him by pretending that he did nothing wrong. That's what really wrong with this country ; we make excuses for "rebellious young people who are getting treated so poorly by adults who do not care what happens to them anymore" rather than holding them accountable.

I am 26 and a mother to a beautiful little girl. I understand that your maternal instincts make you want to shelter your child and protect him at any costs. What you have to understand is that even though only 15 your son is still needs to be held acountable for his actions. He had the choice to go home the nights those places were broke in to. He could have walked away at any point. Although the punishment seems a little harsh it might prevent future episodes and steer him clear of bad choices in the future. If it wasn't it might not deter him from doing it again at a later time. Obviously he is around bad people.. guns... and more than likey some sort of drugs. He got caught doing this but I can almost assure you that there is A lot of other things he has done or been around that you will never know about. Things he just never got caught doing.They all go hand in hand. No offense but you blaming society is doing nothing more than giving him something to pawn his actions off on and is a very bad example to set to a 15 year old. I have been where your son is and it took me going to a teen detention center and then a group home to get me straight. My Mom was the same way. It wasn't my fault it was the other kids or the police where just picking on me. Get on the ball and if you truly love him.. which I am sure you do. Do not become an enabler for what his is doing. Be there and love him but don't be his crutch. The road he is going down is only going to get worse if you don't set up your detour now.

Thanks everyone...
My son only went with him to that one house, and nothing was stolen. When they went over to arrest the older boy, because he is 20 yrs old! THEN two days later they came over to look for a gun the OTHER boy claimed my son had, AND they found the gun in the OTHER boys ROOM, NOT MY SONS. I would never stick up for my son if I thought he did this, and I would certainly want him to get help if he did. What I fail to understand is the WHY of the other boy trying to say my son was involved in any other burglaries, especially when I know for a fact that my son was never out of this house all winter, and During Easter when he was at his fathers visiting far away and couldn't have possibly done this. Instead of trying to ask me if this could have happened, the police took the word of an older boy who has been in so much trouble before that the communtiy services know his name. It still doesn't make sense. They came to my home like it was a huge terrorist search! And the way they treated us didn't make sense either. No one in this home has ever been in trouble before, only a domestic thing on one New Yrs! Its not like we live around a city either, we live as far away from any bad influences as possible, and that's why I've tried to live here, I thought this place would be better for my children. How wrong I was, its been nothing but hell here, trying to be accepted by an all white community. I am white, my children are Spanish, not Mexican. Their grandfather came from Spain. These people have let THEIR kids harrass mine, call them names, beat them up, etc. I became disabled, and unable to move because of it. I've stuck this out, and just now, after I threaten to take this school to a civil rights court, then this happens to us... does anyone get the picture totally now?.

Small towns are becoming infested with big city problems. I feel for you and what you are going through. I still stick with what I say about crime and punishment though especially since a gun was involved. I don't necessarily like law enforcement but you have to understand when there is a complaint or problem they react. I have never seen the polive walk up to a complaint calm curtious and poised. That is just not what they do. Is it possible for your son to go live with his father for a short time until things cool down...

Thanks... but really not even a chance... my sons father became an alcoholic when his brother in law lost his fathers construction company they had together. He abused me after that and I've been divorced for 10 yrs or so now with full physical custody because he took a baseball bat to me in a drunken rage. He moved back up here by us, and a lot of this has to do with my sons confused behavior too lately on top of all the other kids always calling him "camel boy" at school now for a nickname because of all this terrorist stuff. So I could totally understand why the police might be worried if the other boy said my son had a gun. At first I was like Oh My God, I sure hope my son really wouldn't try to get even with some kids at school, with hearing about all these kids on t.v. going ballistic on others who torment them lately, and was I afraid it could be true when they first came to the house, but then again my son just would tell me when they did and I would talk to him about how all that stuff happens to most of us when we are younger, kids are cruel at this age, and how I went through similar things growing up, and it helps a lot. We talk a lot, and he is scared right now, but tells me not to worry, he'll be okay because he is in the right and they are wrong. He just says Mom Don't get all worked up over Me, it'll be all right. He really doesn't sound like a boy who could do these things at all... and I know he is too young to understand just what they are trying to accuse him of... he really thinks that if they listen to him everything will be okay... I know better... I wonder what the police said to the other boy to make him say those things, and I'm not really sure he even did. The older boy is mentally disabled... it just keeps getting more weird... thanks again for your support, it is good to hear from at least one person who sees from both sides. I will just have to calm down, take a big breath, and hope they will do the right thing for my son, not what I suspect they will in their ignorance as humans can be sometimes blindly... I think the best thing my own father ever did was to put a book into my hands at the age of 3 and said " This is the only thing you will ever need, dont ever forget" !

Two comments:

Why did the older boy say that your son was with him when you know he wasn't? Why not. It helps spread the blame around. And, to be honest, do you KNOW that your son was home at the time? I've heard too many stories about kids sneaking out windows, etc. and parents never knowing.

But it doesn't really matter. They have your son for breaking and entering, probably with an intent to steal. And with possession of stolen property. You can complain all you want about society and cops picking on people, but he is, in his own words, guilty of those two crimes. The law considers the person posted as the lookout (which is what your son's role was most likely going to be in the crime) or driving the get-away car just as guilty as the robber inside the building. Get that into your head, stop making excuses for him, and start taking a harder look at his behavior. You knew that he was hanging around with a kid from a family that had a lot of negative encounters with the police, and you did nothing about it? You should have been expecting something like this to happen.

My son did admit to going with the boy to the one house while taking a lawn mower the boy had tried to give him back over to his house, nothing was taken. My son watched him break in, not actually was involved. He told the officer it was a dumb thing to do. I asked him why he didn't say anything, and even the officer knew why because he asked him, my son was desperate for a friend. His entire 10 yrs that we have lived here, only two boys have made friends with him, and this bad boy he only started to go over there because this boys father was teaching them how to repair motors, and my son told me his older brothers had moved out and that he didn't do bad things anymore, that was when he was younger. So I gave my son some decision responsibility and it goes terribly wrong. He hadn't seen the boy for over three yrs, so I gave it a chance. Most boys make mistakes when they are younger, some learn, some don't. This other boy is now 20 yrs old. He had no right getting my younger son involved in any of this, yet he is also on disability mentally and I believe the police are trying to charge both boys because they only want to make the neighbors feel safe. Even if the older boy did these things, he isn't even capable of realising much, he isn't all there. My son was nice enough to be his friend despite his shortcomings and now the police are saying this boy said all these things about my son. Like I said, it just doesn't make much sense. My son is a good kid, he has stated playing basketball and football at school, he does the normal things boys do at this age, but to accuse him when there is no way he could have snuck out is beyond me. I would have seen tracks in the snow by the back door in winter, and he would have had to sneak by our friends room, you can HEAR the door open from upstairs and the dogs would have barked like crazy. He was always with me until we went to bed, and has no way to get as far as some of these homes are, we live way in the country, while the other boys family have several vehicles, in fact when we went to pick up my son, the officer asked the other boy about a red truck that was sitting in his yard. My father who was an officer said in order to charge my son with any armed burglary, they would have had to find a gun on him as he was leaving a home, etc. The gun was FOUND AT the OTHER boys home with the OTHER boys fingerprints on them ONLY. The boys have guns out here in the country for hunting, it is not unusual here, so when my son told the officer that he had seen guns in the boys room hiding ANd on the wall, there is really nothing unusual about that . But ONE gun WAS the gun the police were looking for that the OTHER boy TRIED TO SAY my SON had, AND THEN THEY FIND IT AT THE OTHER BOYS HOUSE. So WHY are they trying so hard to accuse my son, when that boy LIED about where the gun was? This any genius could figure out as being strange in the first place...

Hello my:

Please forgive me, but I didn't read the entire thread. What I got from the post above is that you're incredulous that the criminal justice system is stupid. My advice to you is to GET that it is, and deal with it. You'll never change it, and you won't help Neil by taking that position.

These are not smart people. These are not nice people. These are not people interested in justice. These are not people interested in fairness. These are not people interested in locking up the right people.

These are people interested in LOCKING UP YOUR SON. They're single-minded in that effort. They're good at it. They literally hold the keys to your son's future.

If he doesn't have a lawyer, get him one.

excon

PS> If this is old information, that's OK. I'm old too.

Thank you for helping, excon, to relax me actually, I am panicking, aren't I? I just wish that when someone was hired for any law position, that they wouldn't go solely based on that person never being in trouble themselves. Isn't there some pscological testing they have to do? And if not, Why not? That should be something all americans should be questioning... just what kind of people are supposedly protecting us from ourselves? I guess because I've never been in serious truble myself, I don't understand how they could go based on what another kid WITH priors says about my son who has never been in trouble before. It just plain hurts as a parent. I thank you again, all of you for being here, as I have no one to talk to about this, my father who is an ex cop has tried, but he just got back into my life recently. When I have asked other friends about what they think, and I have only two who I just found again also, they also say that this seems unusual, and the cops only want to blame it on Someone, anyone they can. My father says they are very good at scareing people, and this they have done quite well... They have appointed an attorney for my son, I just got it in the mail this morn, and hopefully this person can help... and hopefully I can cope with losing my son if they convict him, you see... I was told I could never have children, was married for almost two yrs, and out of nowhere, my son came along during my freshmen yr of college. He is very special to me indeed, I asked god for him, and god listened, I hope he is now, because he sent an angel to my bedside right before winter, pointing out the window, and was looking at me like I was supposed to have left here already because I was going to move. I believe it was a warning I didn't heed soon enough...

Howdy again Neil's Mom,

What I see in all of your posts is denial. It is time you stop playing the wounded mommy and understand that maybe your son did in fact play a role in this, no matter how small, he was still involved.

Now, you are only going to hurt your son by staying in denial. As it has been suggested before, you need to get him a lawyer.

It is very hard to accept when our wonderful children do wrong, believe me, I am a mother of 4, ages 20, 18, 13 and 5. But they do do wrong sometimes and have to suffer the consequences.

If he did nothing wrong then the attorney will dig it up and prove it. However, this may be hard for him to do since stolen property was found in your home.

And I will follow up on J9 even if he had no idea of a crime, even if he had no role in it at all, the jails are filled with many people who claim to be innocent and often have those that are really innocent.

Even in the courts appeal process, not being guilty is not even a defense in an appeal. And the police and court system you have, is all you have.
So you will be going to court with people claiming this, and you will have a jury of people who watch the news who are afraid of their house being broken into, and if they see and hear people who may have made a deal with the police for a lighter sentense name your son, they will most likely believe them

And what you have to do is have proof, get him an attorney, get people who are not family to testify as to where he was. And sadly what you know as a parent and believe has no bearing in court

But if your son was there when another boy was stealing something or breaking in, that makes your son just as guilty, period, that is what the law says, don't matter why, had someone been killed, and he was just a lookout outside, guess what, he gets charged with the murder just the same as the person who pulled the trigger.
But understand he already confessed to a crime, so unless the confession can get thrown out, he is already as good as convicted, it is only what sort of plea can they work out.

I understand... it IS very hard to deal with when your child makes a mistake, especially when someone old enough should have known better too. I just don't get these kids these days. Most don't tell the truth, they watch all these crime shows and still think they'd never get caught... Geez... it does make you stop and wonder... even if you do everything you can as a parent, it Never seems to be enough... I do have to stop beating myself, you all are right, even I want to know the truth of the matter, but I do not doubt that something is terribly wrong with our system, regardless of how we are supposed to trust them, they are only human too...

What I would at this point suggest is that you put your son into therapy and perhaps look in the area for youth outreach programs. Big Brothers and Sisters is a great organization and I am almost positive they are a national organization. It sounds like to me your son has been through a lot in his life. I feel for him.. truly do. It will look good if or when you go to court that you and your son are attempting to do something constuctive to change his life.

Thank you, babydestinysmom,
My son problems started when we moved here, but truly started when his father moved back up here. He couldn't understand why I didn't want a man who took a baseball bat to his mother seeing his son when he seemed nice to him. It was very confusing for him, with all that and the nation going boonkers over people from other countries... geez, it has got to be extremely confusing for our children right now...

Thank you for helping, excon, to relax me actually, I am panicking, arent I? I just wish that when someone was hired for any law position, that they wouldnt go solely based on that person never being in trouble themselves. Isnt there some pscological testing they have to do? And if not, Why not? That should be something all americans should be questioning....just what kind of people are supposedly protecting us from ourselves? I guess because I've never been in serious truble myself, I dont understand how they could go based on what another kid WITH priors says about my son who has never been in trouble before.

All kids with priors start as a kid who has never been in trouble before. That's why the cops are not too impressed with that defense.

Hi Froggy, thank you, I see what you mean. My daughter just had a neighbor friend come over that lives near the other boy. He told me he could never see my son doing something like that either, and that he also knows the reputation of the other boys family because his own parents won't let him even go anywhere near their house, he lives down the road from them. Just because he made a bad decision about going with that boy that day, doesn't mean he will do it again though, and my daughters friend said he would testify to my sons character. I am hoping that my son does learn from this, like the officer told him, hopefully he will chose his friends better next time. My son was seeing the school counselor because of the other kids who picked on him, and he was desperate for a friend, so I can see why he was so dumb at the time, hopefully the court will see this also like the officer did, and we can get my son to understand that not all friends are good friends, even best friends can turn on you...

Bdymo, a/k/a Billy Dymond, why should we believe you? Here is what you have written in your profile:


First Name:
Billy Last Name:
Dymond Location:
Long Island, New York Experience:
I know a lot about Middle school dating, both about girls and boys, and can give expert advise, I am in high school, and my girlfriend even helps out on her own profile on here to give boys and girls advise with dating in middle school, also since I was in 7th grade, I had always received a 90 or higher on my overall average for math, and I just ended school last week and I received a 98 for the year in algerbra II. Occupation:
Construction
So, are you an FBI agent? LOL, or are you a high school student?

Your son should be punnished and not just talked to, even if he was not involved because you don't know if your son is telling the complete truth and you also don't know what evidence they have. Just for the point that your son watched his friend do this is bad enough and he deserves to be punnished because that alone is bad enough. This could be just the beginning because your son is young and hanging with the wrong crowds, he can get invloved in worse things. You need to be a good parent and take proper action because your son needs to take responsibility and he is still young at 18, this could be the beginning but you definitely need to not blame the government so much because he obviously deserved the house arrest but I am sure for 8 counts of burglary he would or should have got worse than he did, he could have got hard jail time.

Hi Brandy681 !
Thanks for input. My son is not 18, he is only 15. He went to one house and was afraid to tell on the other boy because the other boy is 20. The other older boy should have known better then to try and involve a 15 yr old in the first place, and then to say my son went with him to other places because he is afraid is beyond me. Even my son can't believe the older boy has done this to him. My daughters friends say they will testify as to my sons character, that he would never have willingly done something like this, and just because he was afraid to tell on the older boy for going into the one house, doesn't mean he went into any others based on what the older kid says. The older boy just doesn't want to go down alone, or has been offered a lesser sentence for saying this. My son just talked to the lawyer defending him, my son is as confused as I am as to what made this boy say these things about him. It is beyond me still as to why the police believe an older boy who has been in so much trouble before with his brothers, and not a boy who is so young and his first time getting into trouble...
Thanks for trying to help, but what also never seems to amaze me are adults who will automatically judge someone without all the evidence just because of the bad times we are living in. Not all kids are that bad, it usually is someone TEACHING them HOW To Be...

Neil's Mom---when you son told you he witnessed his friend breaking into someone's house and stealing items, you did nothing. THAT IS TEACHING HIM THAT IS OKAY TO DO SOMETHING WRONG.

Your son has admitted to at least one of the felonies. So now it is up to him and your attorney to prove HE WAS NOT THERE. Vouching for his character just won't work BECAUSE HE ADMITTED TO DOING AT LEAST ONCE. So what is to be vouched for?

Stop the denial. Get an attorney. Move to another state. Put your child in military school. Help you son get a job so he has something to do. Just stop blaming the system and the other kid.

Thanks for the advice Wynelle!
Already have most of that figured out, I am a 41 yr old mother who does know a thing or two, just hard to trust a system that doesn't even look into all the evidence without already profiling someone they don't even know. They had my son as guilty without knowing him as a person, he is very young, not knowledgeable about this world and how it will do everything in its power against you, not for you unless you have money, and that is how our society is making it look to its children... geez, we even elect presidents based on how much backup they have financially! It's a sad world we live in, when everyone only wants to GET the bad guys, and not truly see what makes them get bad in the first place... sure docs try, but do they really care? No, its just a good paying job to them... my son got into trouble, yes, but by an older boy who was already in the system, and obviously this system isn't working to make sure these kids don't continue to influence others to do the same with them again and again... the older boy is mentally not all there though, and this is what makes all this so strange... them knowing this, and then going after these boys as if they were truly major criminals is beyond my comprehension, they are still young boys who need direction, correction isn't exactly going to work on the mentally ill as this older boy is. No one was there for that older boy, not even this communty knowing his past, and now they want to punish these boys for their shortcomings... this is where we are at as a society... pretending to care, but not really until it happens to one of our own... when I was a child, there wasn't as much of a population, so the whole communtiy was involved, now it has become a circus... when will people realise the mess they are making... my son had direction, he wanted a job this summer before all this happened, and as an adult, I see two boys who need more than just punishment, they made a mistake, and as a society, as adults, we need to know WHY some of our children think that these mistakes are where its at. WHY are the kids of today not caring... does anyone else see this pattern, or is it just me... my son had only one friend because no one in this White community would accept him, this is Our reality... this is a problem that only now some people see. So there are many reasons and no one is hearing our kids pleas until a child takes a gun to school and kills his peers, yet, everyone is quick to judge a child whom doesn't even know why they do what they are doing yet. My sons school wouldn't even care about a group of kids who were beating on him whenever they wanted to. These bad behaviors are starting in the schools & It seems to me, all of us as adults better wake up sooner than too late...
(there are other cultures in this country trying to become like americans and this issue has got to be addressed so that all of our future generations get along. Why is it that small kids don't see color and adults do? Only recently have some adults tried to get the message through, and still others can't live with the fact that we are all different on the outside, yet on the inside we all have issues! And are basically the same.. )

Neil's Mom,

I have to say, one of the problems with America is people like you. Your posts have repeatedly talked about how society is letting people down, and not considering all the facets of the situation, etc. Get this through your head: "The police treated your son as guilty because HE IS." Why doesn't matter.

And you do the very thing that you accuse society of. I don't see you sitting down and trying to figure out why "everyone" in town hates your family and doesn't want to be friends with your son. You say it's because your Hispanic. That might be true... it could be a town full of bigots. But it is also possible that there is something that you are doing that is making them standoffish. But your posts haven't shown any indication that you care about why... just that you care about the result. Why do you expect anyone else to be different? If my house was robbed, I do NOT care why the kid did it. They could be poor, they could come from an abusive home, they could be rich kids looking for a thrill. It doesn't matter to me. What I care about is that, for whatever reason, this person chose to respond to the situation by breaking the law, and needs to take responsibility for that action.

And no, society doesn't care, really, about why they go bad. That's the parent's job. If you knew that your son was having all this trouble, and hanging out with bad kids, why didn't YOU do something about it? Sure, it may have meant moving out of the area, but if that's what it takes, that's what you do.

Stop being a victim. Accepting that you have the responsibility for your actions also means realizing that you have the power. You can not do anything about what any one else thinks or feels. The only person you can change is yourself, and that includes how you feel and react to other people. There's a lot of power there that you are freely giving away to "society".

Moving out of this area is exactly what these white bigots would like, for me to run... not happening, I won't give them the pleasure...

All kids lie to their parents at some point. Even the best behaved kids of models parents! Especially when they are in serious trouble for the first time and don't want to disappoint their parents. Having worked in the judicial system for a number of years, I'll tell you that the words and advice given by the above individuals are wise. While your son is, very likely, a good boy -- even good kids frequently make very bad choices. You may think the situation unfair, but remember that you and your son are not in a position to change the system at this point. Encourage your son to be accountable for what he has done. Get him in to counseling now, before the court orders you to do so. Your son may not have done all the things he is being accused of, but he is no victim. Jump through the necessary hoops for now. Then, when your son is free from court supervision, contact your local legislators. Also, if you suspect any possibility that your son is involved in using drugs or alcohol, get him into outpatient treatment. All these things will help ensure that he will remain in your home. How YOU choose to respond to this situation will have a greater impact on your son's future than anything else. Be respectful and ask the court for help. Wishing your family the best!

All kids lie to their parents at some point. Even the best behaved kids of models parents! Especially when they are in serious trouble for the first time and don't want to disappoint their parents. Having worked in the judicial system for a number of years, I'll tell you that the words and advice given by the above individuals are wise. While your son is, very likely, a good boy -- even good kids frequently make very bad choices. You may think the situation unfair, but remember that you and your son are not in a position to change the system at this point. Encourage your son to be accountable for what he has done. Get him in to counseling now, before the court orders you to do so. Your son may not have done all the things he is being accused of, but he is no victim. Jump through the necessary hoops for now. Then, when your son is free from court supervision, contact your local legislators. Also, if you suspect any possibility that your son is involved in using drugs or alcohol, get him into outpatient treatment. All these things will help ensure that he will remain in your home. How YOU choose to respond to this situation will have a greater impact on your son's future than anything else. Be respectful and ask the court for help. Wishing your family the best!

Hi! Appreciate help...
I am White, my son is Spanish, not hard to figure out that in this all white community, we will definitely NOT be treated the same. Not a chip on my shoulder, just facing the truth. Some people will deny all they like because they themselves won't admit bigotry. We have lived here for over 12 yrs now, & this community has never treated us with open arms until just recently when some Jehovahs witnesses have stopped by wanting us to join their church, and when we don't want to we are snubbed even worse, some freedom of religion here! I went to college once to become a forensic pathologist/psychologist and started trying paralegal studies and not only I but friends outside this community say this community thinks they are untouchable and above the law, and have never seen such bologny anywhere in the entire state! This community has this horrible rep all by themselves! It is NOT my imagination that there is a smelly fish out of water... I was telling the school district one minute that I was sueing for discrimination towards my children and the next minute they are trying to distract me by saying my son is a criminal, to make the family look as bad as they can for when I do take them to court. And funny thing yet, can't seem to find an attorney who will take their Arian butts to court! I keep getting shut down! Money talks in this country and if you don't have enough, you cannot fight for your rights, they won't even touch a case in this county! Now someone tell me why THAT is? This is one of the poorest counties in the nation, that is why, plain and simple... this is not like I don't understand that if my son did do any of this, that he needs help, but just where in the heck is the help when you really need it? Out of the corner of my eye, I can see and feel the horrible truth when they stare at you, the gut feeling that they could really care less, and the sneers that say " there is that white woman who had those spanish kids, who cares" kind of look... and no one can deny what someone SEES with their own eyes, let alone remarks made loud enough behind your back so that you can actually hear how they feel about you going out of their idea of a perfect remake of a 50's era America... Do not let the beautiful for spashious skies fool you, if your not white, move to the city feeling around here!

[QUOTE=mysonneil]Hi! Appreciate help...
I am White, my son is Spanish,

Unless your son is from Spain, he is not Spanish. To be your son's best advocate against ingnorance, you must begin by informing yourself first.

It is clear that you have a lot of frustration, anger, and bitterness with your community, the school system, the court system, and this country. You have asked for advice on an internet website where any stranger can give you their opinion. Many have. If you are looking for like-minded people, or those facing similar circumstances, I suggest finding a support group. Mental Health Associations will often have groups for parents of children who have found themselves entangled in the court system. They can also make appropriate referrals for resources to help you address your sons needs and your concerns.

No contributors to this website can change this situation for you. I'm sure you are first and foremost concerned with seeing to the best interests of your child and not so much trying to take on the insurmountable task of fixing this society which most would agree is fraught with problems. Stay focused on your son. Don't allow yourself to be distracted by trying to change the opinions of others right now -- particularly when those others are in positions of authority and will only regard your hostility as further justification for their ill opinion of you and your family.

If all that you say is true why have you not contacted the ACLU, after all they help minorities that have been wrongly accused and they can help you and your son out. Also if everyone in town new that the kid that your son was hanging out with was a bad kid then why did you let him hang out with him, my 15 year old hangs out with kids his age the oldest kid he is allowed to be with is a 16 year old and that depends on what I know about them. Also we have ways to check out people on the computer.. you should try and use trhat.. (I do) also I saw that you said your son had a mental impairment.. then maybe you could enlist the help of the people for americans with disablities and see what happens. Also you could get rid of some of the intense anger that you have, because that is not helping your case out. And I was once told by a very wise person " to choose my fights wisely" everything is not worth fighting over. But this is something that you are going to have to use a clear and logical mind in order to help your son. Good luck

Thanks again for advice, everyone...
My son IS Spanish, his grandfather came over from Spain when he was 9. My son is always called a mexican instead of an American although he WAS born here and legally by both parents! This is why I make this point so vivid... no one calls him AN AMERICAN! So I do make it clear that he is of Spanish descent, even though his own father WAS born in mexico, his grandfather and him were not. Yet because of all the hate this country has against the illegals in this country whom are not WHITE illegals (such as all the ones we have up north here that take all the summer jobs away from the local kids for less money yet no one says a word about THEM because they ARE WHITE ILLEGALS) my son has had to bear the brunt of it, so we make it VERY clear he is a Spanish-American and vice versa for all the idiots who we are surrounded by up here in bigotland. Yes, I get angry like anyone else, I am human, and especially when supposed ADULTS treat children badly because of their COLOR . IT is totally uncalled for, and no one gives a darn about it. IT discusts me, and I am only ashamed of my own race...
I may have had a stroke and cannot figure all things out anymore and unable now to assist him moneywise, yet I will take the best care of him emotionally possible to make sure he gets through this and a future that is hopefully better for our children if we open our selfish eyes up now...

Hey Neils Mom,
Okay I'll give you my qualifications to answer this. I'm 53 and about as square as they come but if you pulled my criminal record you would see about 12 convictions for burglary. I told my mom all sorts of stories too and it was about 20 years before she finally understood that I was a bad kid because I was messed up... it wasn't because I ran w/a bad bunch. I choose my friends based on the activities I wanted to be involved with. I was never innocent but it was really hard for my mom to comprehend that I was capable of the things I did. So first of all please stop believing your kid is so innocent. Innocent good 15 year old don't watch houses being broken into for any reason. Also NOBODY breaks into a house and doesn't take anything unless they were scared away before they had the chance.

I spent 20 years in and out of courts sometimes w/paid atty. Sometimes w/public defender and now I live in a really small town and I am continually SHOCKED at the level of racism that is thriving in this town. Racism against everything that's not white/christian so I know racism is alive and thriving particularly in small town America and maybe that is what's going on or maybe it is a little racism and a little guilt on your sons part. I also think with the meth usage in small towns the police force is fed up with the break ins etc. and they really don't mess around and always error on the side of enforcing.

Your boy is going to court. Get a good atty. You need a local atty. Someone who actually plays golf with the DA or the Judge. Don't bring someone in from outside who doesn't know the players. If you can prove your boy was in one place while a crime was committed another place you will need to provide his atty. With any proof you can come up with. Phone records whatever. If it means hiring a private detective do it. Who cares if someone gets attitude over you hiring an atty. ARe you sure the attitude you sensed wasn't more about you refusing to believe he may have had something to do with this? It's to the point now where his innocence or guilt will be decided in court and his side will be presented by his atty. When you say he is innocent you are just a mom who doesn't believe her kid could do this. When others in the neighborhood say they saw this or that, it has a little more credence but it is still simply a speculation.

But I have to tell you until the first phone call my mom got from me saying I was in jail, well prior to that I got caught cutting school once but I still brought home great grades and was considered a good kid. She had no idea how many things I did and didn't get caught so she thought I was a good kid but I was the one burglarizing all the homes in our neighborhood.

It might not really be fair for me to respond because I couldn't read through all the posts you have received but I read the first two pages and I think you should focus your energy on proving your sons innocence. Personally from what you said on the first page of posts I don't he didn't know what was going on but that's just my opinion.

I hope this works out well for you, I hope he's found innocent and yes innocent people do go to jail. I've never known one personally but I believe it happens.

Thanks for input everyone, I understand this town better than most and an outside atty is what I did need! My son got 30 days for watching a friend break into a place and was too afraid to tell, but when asked he did tell the truth and they still wouldn't believe him! He told them the truth the first time when they were very young, he wasn't afraid because I as a parent taught him to always tell the truth and then things won't get worse for you, if you tell the truth, no lies can be used against you. Geez, how wrong our society has gotten! The police twist everything, just to blame it on a couple of kids, so they get the money and the neighbors think they've done all they are paid to do. And why do the police get away with this? Because Americans are too chicken to do something about it anymore. My own home was broken into also, but would they believe it? Would they use that? Hell no, the jerks. My friends and I saw several shady characters scoping out our neighborhood just before all these incidents happened, I kept my daughter away from the road all summer because of it, did they mention that? No.
My son was at his dads for easter with his aunt, and they tried to say he was there robbing other houses with this other boy ON THAT DAY! Did they enter that into evidence? NO. Did they tell my neighbors that the other boy had a history with his brothers of other crimes? No. Did they tell the court that this boy was 20 yrs old and my son was only just turning 15. No. ( I thought this boy just turned 18 myself)
Did the police have any evidence that my son was ever in another home let alone the one he watched that boy break into. No. Did they tell the court, that in order to hide the stuff the other boy would steal, that he would just Give these items to my son as a gift, saying that they were old things that were replaced by new things they got so they didn't want them anymore? No. Did they even ask us if we would like to have Our witnesses there to testify? No. And why in the heck did they supoena my son to testify against the boy and tell all he knew, And THEN RETRACT IT and tell him he didn't need to.? I'll tell you why... this is a racist country and it always will be until the old farts die off... then our children, with the grace and good sense they are taught by the new generation x parents such as I, will someday change all the nonsense into a better LOVING world in which to live and maybe I WILL live to see it... :rolleyes: The TRUTH is the only thing the devil Cannot overcome! Long live the Justice of the One Above that we all try to Love in Return! WHAT GOES AROUND WILL COME AROUND, AND ALL THOSE TRULY GUILTY OF CRIMES AGAINST OTHERS, WILL NOT SEE HIM ! God Bless the innocence of our children, they should not suffer so because of our ignorance... (and God save the Mother Earth from their plunder!)

Got news for you Neil's mom... those old farts were around in the 60's and I said the same thing. Oh just wait until my generation grows up and takes over... it will be all be different. Problem is the good guys don't make it into the real positions of power because they aren't willing to do what it takes... because they're good guys.
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely...
You have the energy so now it's your turn to change the world. I did as much as I could while I had the energy now it's all I can do to just keep my own backyard clean.

Hi Rachel,

I know, I know... we learn so much and then never get the chance to use it... Yet there are speakers who are going into the schools now to try and stop what starts in the home- Racism, and
Someday ( and I'd freeze myself to see it! ) Someday... will be gone and the memory of it will be some other poor kids/smart kids history assignment for the weeks homework! LOL!
Thanks everyone on here for getting me through this, I am a loner myself, always did everything on my own, raised myself, etc... and anyone's opinions were greatly appreciated!
Now I have to get through the $3,000.00 fine the COUNTY gets for "including my son in his so called, without evidence, crime... NOW HE KNOWS BETTER, NEVER GET TOO CLOSE TO OTHERS, and what a hard lesson that is... in this day & age, to hold so true...