Hay again :p. Being a virgin I wouldn't have much to add as to what my first sexual experience is like because my experience (and only experience) is kissing my best mates sister once (its a little sad I know). But what I won't too know is, what is that first time like? being a virgin and having to endlessly hear about my mates new 'conquests' and how they 'envy' me because I've never been intimate with anyone is getting me wondering, is everyone's first time bad? because they all say that I'm going to dread that first time?

Both male and female perspectives please, and sorry but no 'no sex before marriage comments please, very sorry but I'm young, curious and need some information on my first experience'

P.S- I do understand that all peoples experiences are different, I'm just trying to get a 'jist' of what to expect.

Thank you all x

I have to say a someone who lost my virginity at 17 years old. My first time was real romantic. My boyfriend at the time was real patient with me and when I was ready he made everything perfect. That is the way I think everybody's first time should be.

It sucked, the girl was not too appealing and all my friends teased me forever.

I think it also depends on whether the girl is a virgin or not. If she is, it might be better because then you don't have such high expectations. If she is all I have to say is take it SLOW and make sure she is really wet, Make sure she's comfortable! If she is not a virgin, maybe let her do all the work. It will be nerve racking, probably messy, bumpy and if it's just to get the first time out of the way, probably not that good. But, at least you get it done and know what to do next time.

It's a learning experience-especially if both of you are virgins-I agree with the above post as well!

Learn from each other and don't expect miracles for your first time.

Cheers

Heck I hardly remember her. I remember where she lived... but at 15 that's a long time ago.

In hind sight it was nothing special, but at the time it seemed like it was. Something age and experience allows you to put into perspective.

I was 16, and the guy turned out to be a jerk.all for himself, he even called me a cab afterwards as he didn't want me to stay, never heard from him again... that was after we dated for 6 months..
If I could go back and do it again it wouldn't have been with him that's for sure.

All I have to say is that I wish I waited.

What I thought was love, wasn't. What I thought was devotion, wasn't. What I thought would be forever, wasn't. If I knew then what I know now I would have waited even longer.

I was much in the same boat as you. I went to a little get together at a friends house and it was really a set up for me a guy. I was 18 and still a virgin and just really dreaded it and knew that I didn't want to wait for marriage or even love. So, I told the guy straight out "Look I'm a virgin but I want to have sex with you, no strings attached, just get it out of the way". Not too surprisingly he was willing to oblige. I don't have any regrets, it wasn't exactly romantic but he had a great sense of humor and we got a good laugh over the whole thing. If I had to do it over again, I would have told him that he needed to do more than just get it done with ;-)

I would say to just go for it. See if you can find a girl that's willing to help you out. Then my second bit of advice would be to masturbate before hand and really explore the woman from top to bottom and have her tell you what to do. Even if she's inexperienced she should still know what feels good.

You can expect that it'll probably be awkward but if you go into with a good frame of mind it should be fun. And if it's someone you're comfortable with, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. If it wasn't for the sense of humor of my first guy, I would have been mortified by the whole thing.

P.S. Remember to use a condom!! You can't overstress the imprtance of safe sex!!

I was much in the same boat as you. I went to a little get together at a friends house and it was really a set up for me a guy. I was 18 and still a virgin and just really dreaded it and knew that I didn't want to wait for marriage or even love. So, I told the guy straight out "Look I'm a virgin but I want to have sex with you, no strings attached, just get it out of the way". Not too surprisingly he was willing to oblige. I don't have any regrets, it wasn't exactly romantic but he had a great sense of humor and we got a good laugh over the whole thing. If I had to do it over again, I would have told him that he needed to do more than just get it done with ;-)

I would say to just go for it. See if you can find a girl that's willing to help you out. Then my second bit of advice would be to masturbate before hand and really explore the woman from top to bottom and have her tell you what to do. Even if she's inexperienced she should still know what feels good.

You can expect that it'll probably be awkward but if you go into with a good frame of mind it should be fun. And if it's someone you're comfortable with, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. If it wasn't for the sense of humor of my first guy, I would have been mortified by the whole thing.


Sounds like a good idea, I don't wona wait for love to loss it, I just want it out of the way and done with, I think I'll ask a special friend of mine if she could 'help' me out. Thanks :)

You want it "out of the way" Do you realize that this really sounds crass and actually, to me, rather disgusting.

Sex is not like playing video games... sex comes with consequences. If you are not prepared for the consquences, parenthood is not the only consequence, then you are not ready for sex.

I really think it sad that children these days think sex is just fun and games. It is not about the act of making love to someone anyomore. Get a girl pregnant... no big deal, just walk away and sign over your rights.

Get a STD, no big deal... just go to the doctor and get a shot.

Get Herpes, BIG DEAL... you'll have it the rest of your life

Get HIV/AIDS, BIG DEAL... it is the untilmate deal breaker, it ends your life.

J_9 while I respect your answer I think this situation is not as black and white as that. I am a far cry from being a kid and, again, I do not in any way regret the way I lost my virginity. It was a period of my life, one that I am proud say has helped to shape me into the person that I am today.

I have 4 daughters and I want nothing but the best from them. I have an aunt that has a daughter exactly the same as age me. Her parents did not talk with her realistically about sex. They were disgusted that my mother was frank with me and my siblings. My aunts daughter ended up being a single mother by the time she was 17 years old. None of my siblings have children with anyone but their spouses.

Looking at life through the view that sex outside of marriage is wrong is just not realistic. Looking at as an important decision to be made when you are ready is the way to view it. If he is ready, go for it. Make the experience as pleasurable as possible and be safe in the way you do it. I was pretty clear that safe sex is very important. Use a condom, always use a condom. When my 20 year-old daughter asked to go on the pill I brought her and got her put on the pill. The catch was that she needed to listen to me rant about still using a condom even on the pill. The pill does not prevent STDs and you can still get pregnant on the pill. I preached that if you are not mature enough to tell your partner that they need to wear a condom you are not mature enough for the act of sex.

I'm sorry that you were offended. When you're ready, you're ready, but always remember to be safe and respectful. That's my take on it.

I don't think that J-9 post was about waiting until marriage. I think it was about how people are not waiting in general. That they are just sleeping with one another without being in love (or at least thinking it is love).

As a high school teacher I have to tend to agree with her. The idea of being in a relationship or committed to one person before having sex is gone. The pressure to just be having sex is huge for high school students.

I think that is what J-9 was talking about.

Whoa, Cely, firstly my post was not directed to you. It was directed at Mog. So, please get off your soap box as I was not speaking to you here.

Secondly, while your situation may have been good for you, it is not necessarily so for everyone.



Looking at life through the view that sex outside of marriage is wrong is just not realistic.

Ummm, please show me where I even insinuated this one.


Looking at as an important decision to be made when you are ready is the way to view it.

Yes, it is an important decision to make. In fact it must be an INFORMED decision, that is why I brought up STDs, HIV/AIDS and parenthood.


Use a condom, always use a condom.

I will agree with this, however to be properly informed, one must know that condoms do not prevent all STDs, nor do they always prevent pregnancies.


When my 20 year-old daughter asked to go on the pill I brought her and got her put on the pill.

Oh, please Cely, your daughter was 20, she did not need your permission, nor did she even need to tell you she was on it. Now if you told me that she was 15, I would think differently about what you wrote here.



I'm sorry that you were offended. When you're ready, you're ready, but always remember to be safe and respectful. That's my take on it.

I don't think I was offended, if this remark was pointed at me, but rather trying to tell the boy to make informed decisions as a decision of this magnatude can lead to some serious consequences.

I am sorry that I choose not to answer the original question, because I think that my first time is personal. It was my personal experience and, in my opinion, should be something that is meant to stay private between the two people who participate.

J_9 thanks for posting, I do respect your point of view that sex should be kept special between two people who are in love I do, and I want a girl friend to share that with... one day.
But growing up these days days with all of my friends talking about it, seeing sex orientated material everywhere its hard to not wona 'fit-in', I'm not one to follow everyone else, but this is something that is now a fact of young modern life and lossing your virginity is (from a male point of view) now a necessity to feel more mature, a rite of passage of growing up, sorry that it sounds 'discusting' but this is the modern way.

Also on your last post you 'had-a-go' at cely05819 for her daughter asking her to go on the pill, please don't have have-a-go at other peoples parenting on this message board, re-read the title 'what was your first time like' not 'how to bring up your children', anyway she probibly was asking for further advise from her mum anyway.

Btw- I am prepared for the consquences for a sexual experience, I'm 19, I know to use a condom regardless of her being on the pill, remember J_9, I'm horny, not an idiot :D

Mo-
I think the peer pressure for your generation is huge when it comes to having sex. But, stay strong. Wait for that special girl to share that with. Just doing it to be one of the guys might seem right now. But trust me... in the long run it won't matter how old you were when you lost your virginity, but it will matter who it was with. Or at least it should. Remember there is a lot of other things you can do to release that horniness besides sex. Whatever you decide... just enjoy being young.

LOL, Mog, I was not trying to have "a go" at Cely, but merely showing that her point was basically mute as her daughter was already 20 and did not need her permission like she would if she had been 15.

Now, I am glad you see my point. But peer pressure is peer pressure, and yes, it is out there in the mainstream media also.

You say it is hard to want to "fit in" Sex is not about fitting in. Well, at least as I see it now, and saw it at your age.

It is good to see someone taking an adult approach to this rather than to just "get some."

Whether you choose to lose your virginity now or wait for the "right" person, it will most likely be awkward. Think about it for a moment, isn't EVERYTHING we do the first time a little awkward? Tying your shoes the first time for instance... First day of high school... (just some examples I threw out there)

I am glad you are not an idiot, believe it or not there are many out there who think that the withdrawal method IS a form of birth control.

Wow! J_9 (sorry Mog but I really need to respond to this) you said you thought it was disgusting to do it to get it out of the way. How does being disgusted not translate to being offended? You found it digusting and crass but not offensive? I was apologizing for offending you, I said I respect your opinion. I really do apologize for any offense you took.

Oh, please Cely, your daughter was 20, she did not need your permission, nor did she even need to tell you she was on it. Now if you told me that she was 15, I would think differently about what you wrote here.

My daughter was 16 when she came to me and asked to go on the pill. Just for the record.

I really did not mean to cause such a stir. If you have more to discuss with me on this topic I would be happy to discuss it. Please remember, however, that I am not a child and I happen to be every bit as informed and intelligent as you and don't appreciate your condesending attitude. I was speaking directly to Mog, not to the teen population at large. I am aware of STDs and how they are contracted. I'm aware of what does and does not prevent STDs and pregnancy. I would think that at 19 years old so would Mog and therefore negate your stirring discussion on the demise of our young peoople today.

And, if you want to see a soapbox I'll be more than happy to show you one.

Thanks.

Ah mog, everyone starts at a different time, and not everybody's experience is bad. Mine personally was, but it wasn't because of the sex, and honestly I don't even acknowledge it as my first time. The second time, which was real, was really quite romantic and memorable as it was with the right person and wasn't rushed into or anything at all. As far as experience, I really don't think you can say your first time was bad, as much as awkward, because at that point you really have nothing to compare it to to say that it wasn't good. Just be patient enough wait for the right person, and you'll always remember it as something special.

P.S. As far as wanting it out of the way, it's your choice, but I'd have to agree with J_9, because 30 or 40 years from now, I'm quite sure that you'll regret it, unless you somehow end up with the girl in the end, but even if you were to get married, I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it as much as if you waited for the right time with her.

I wαs 15 the guy wαs 19 I felt like I wαs being rαped αnd like some sex doll-- I remember just looking to the side, αt the wαll. The whole time becαuse he wαs mαking those weird guy sex fαces (lol guy sex fαces αre so hαlαrious!! hαhα) yeαh 'greαt' memories.. eck

Hay again :p. Being a virgin i wouldn't have much to add as to what my first sexual experience is like because my experience (and only experience) is kissing my best mates sister once (its a little sad i know). But what i wont too know is, what is that first time like?, being a virgin and having to endlessly hear about my mates new 'conquests' and how they 'envy' me because i've never been intimate with anyone is getting me wondering, is everyones first time bad?, because they all say that im gona dread that first time?

Both male and female perspectives please, and sorry but no 'no sex before marriage comments please, very sorry but im young, curious and need some information on my first experience'

P.S- I do understand that all peoples experiences are different, im just trying to get a 'jist' of what to expect.

Thank you all x
I am very interested in these answers too because unfortunately, I made it to my mid-30s and remained a Virgin. Sometimes the virginity gets way ahead of itself.

It was probably my least favorite memory. The guy I thought loved me, took my viginity, left "to the store", and I never heard from him again. I do wish I would have waited until marriage.

It was probably my least favorite memory. The guy I thought loved me, took my viginity, left "to the store", and I never heard from him again. I do wish I would have waited til marriage.


Well I saw your profile and how you are married. Does your current Husband understand? If he does and is a good man to you, I think that is what matters most:)

Luckily, I do have an understanding husband... but losing your virginity is something you can never take back. I am 30 years old now and I can still remember every single detail that happened that day 11 years ago. I really wish we could just make these young kids believe us but we can't... they will do what they want and unfortunately some will do what their friends say is "normal".

Hey mine was around 2 n a half years back... me and my guy had been trying for weeks. I just wouldn't let him enter me cause I was so scared that it would be painful. God bless him for being so patient! When it finally happened it was bliss!! It was his 1st time too. I didn't have a clue how to move. He did the whole act and I was just experiencing the most beautiful moment of my life. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. In fact, after we were spent I felt so complete and happy. Since that day our bond has become even stronger... every time feels better than the last time we made love;)

my first time was technically when I was 13 and I was raped, then I just thought it didn't matter and had a bunch of random affairs, but my first time with someone I really cared about was great, you should wait until you find someone you care about, you don't have to be in love, but you want it to be at least a bit special, I do wish I had waited for a while though, I think I was too young to be doing what I did. And always use a condom! Or birth control at least... get a disease... but at least you won't have a kid!

Hay again :p. Being a virgin i wouldn't have much to add as to what my first sexual experience is like because my experience (and only experience) is kissing my best mates sister once (its a little sad i know). But what i wont too know is, what is that first time like?, being a virgin and having to endlessly hear about my mates new 'conquests' and how they 'envy' me because i've never been intimate with anyone is getting me wondering, is everyones first time bad?, because they all say that im gona dread that first time?

Both male and female perspectives please, and sorry but no 'no sex before marriage comments please, very sorry but im young, curious and need some information on my first experience'

P.S- I do understand that all peoples experiences are different, im just trying to get a 'jist' of what to expect.

Thank you all x
I am a girl. I am really pretty, not to brag. I am popular in school. So, my first time was really hot. I was with this cute boy from Australia. We didn't use a condom but I was fine. It felt a little bit slippery, but it was okay.

My first time was weird. I was with a person I had been with for 6 months. I thought I "loved" him. I guess at the time I did - but at 17 do you really know?
Anyway, it was homecoming, I was a senior in High School. We went to my best friend's house - she was having a party - went back to her room (everyone in the house knew what was about to happen) started fooling around and 2 people came out of her bathroom - how embarrassing. Then we got walked in on AGAIN by my bf's boyfriend. We were naked and under the covers - again embarrassing! FINALLY - we did the deed. I bled everywhere! My friend was so mad - how was she going to explain the stain on the mattress to her mother - I was freaked out and the guy didn't seem to mind.
To this day, I am shocked I still have sex! :)
We were together for almost a year - but it just didn't work out!
I wish I had waited.

I myself hadn't touch a girl until 18 (a few kisses... but just like a pop kiss). And you know... I mean most guys tend want to show off. Though I am not going lie I 2 wanted to show off. Anyway, I had been dating a girl that was a virgin, but more sexually experience then me. At first it bother me, but I was like I don't care. After we had sex my penis was hella sore for like a week or so. Anywayz my girlfriend came out and told me all this pull and junk. And now I wish I had waited. Sex can do 2 thing in a relationship. Break it or make it stronger. Though if you just want it out of your way (I strongly oppose) find someone that you can connect with and have fun with it.

You don't ned to waitfor someone you love to have sex for the first time, cause you probably won't end up with that person anyway. Its good to really know and likethe person but sex is great and should be experimented byt guys. Find a girl you like and d it with her. You do not need to be in love to be havimg sex. As I have been having sex for the last 9 years I have foun it is much better when you love the person the sex no longer just becomes a fun time it becomesmuch more pleasurable and you look and think of sex with someone you love differently. But when trying it for the first time I just did it with a hot girl who I was attracted to she was a virgin at the time and we ended up together for three years.. Waiting for someone you love to have sex with them is not what you should do, because sex is a big part of becoming involved with someone, without having sex you will not feel as close to this person and fall in love. Get it out of the way and start doing it nopw. Have a great time that is what life is for. Too many people say wait for that right person, No don't do that you would rather have fun now and when the right person comes along you can start wit them as well but you would have had plenty of experience.

People who say I look back and wish I hadn't of done it they are just living in the past, people saythat cause maybe it didn't work out or something be hapy to have sex andlearn from the different experiencesand when you are I love you will no exactly what to do. Don't sleep around but do try out a few different girls this is the best way you don't just want to sleep with one girl you want to know a few so you know what ythe differences between girls and sleeping with them.

First off, I'm glad you're waiting for someone special and not some whore
Well for me it hurt a bit, but I am a girl. I don't really remember much about it, cause I did it again with the same person and it was great

I was 16, had absolutely no intentions of having sex, I was not even 'prepared' if you know what I mean?
Anyway, two of my best friends and I were drinking vodka straight out of the bottle,
I had a bit too much and all I remember is flash backs of this guy taking my clothes off and being in immense pain. I awoke the next morning missing clothes and I could barely walk.
I noticed within time the pain just wouldn't go away and when I went to the hospital I had a skin tag that was blocking my vaginal entry and when I had sex it was gradually breaking and causing me so much pain, it was removed but I bled for 8 weeks straight.
It was the worst time of my life. Needless to say I did not have sex for a long time after. I waited a year and a half.

My first time sucked. I was 15 and I think I did it just to get it over with. It hurt like a bit*h
And I ended up dumping the guy a week later. Then that open my eyes to the sex in the world and got 2 STD's luckly cureable ones but it smartened me right up. This was only the second guy I had ever slept with. Sex is over rated. I think it sucks. I had my share of sex parteners and I still don't like sex. I go months without even thinking about it. Well until my boyfriend is bothering me night and day for it.

My first time was embarssin... My girlfriend at the time was also a virgin... But that didn't really matter she was ready and I was to... unfortanly all you can do is let your mind wander and try to hold back from ejaculating as long as possible... cause for me it was like 35 seconds... Max

I'm not going to tell you what to expect because everyone's first time is diefferent...

The first time I had sex I was just turning 19, got a late start... I was out with a bunch of friends at a club drinking and dancing, as we were driving home a girl I had been grinding with that night... who happened to be a huge slut, started making it very clear that she wanted some sexual... well we ended up at this kid jamie's airstream trailor, and were all watching fear and loathing in las vegas, jamie decided to go and use the restroom when he left me and the girl started fooling around, one thing led to another and I had sex, I'm sure I sucked and was having trouble keeping a boner... man that was a long time ago seven years

Well i'm still a virgin... and as far as i know... love matters feelings got to be strong... you must be very comfortable with him/her...i still think it's best to wait till the wedding night...
but if it just happens at least make it memorable... :)[/U][/U]