My ex girlfriend split from me three weeks ago, it was a very big shock to the system.

During the relationship she was the one who did all the running to me, she would be the one texting like mad and always asking me if I loved her as much as she loved me.

We had our ups and downs like any couple but we really did have a great time together, she was my best friend and my soul mate, she felt the same for me and said it many a time.

However as soon as she sent the text saying it was over she seemed like a completely different person, I tried to ask her why but she just said that her mind was made up and that she wants to be left alone. She wouldn't even answer her phone to let me talk to her.

Anyhoo around three in the morning I got a text from her asking me not to hate her, I told her I never could.

Ive tried no contact to see if that will work but I just can't keep it going, we used to text at least twice a day and to suddenly not do it seemed really sad and hard.

She says she wants to be friends but she's not ready for that yet, then she says she doesn't know what the future holds for us. Somedays she seems OK to think that we may get together again while others she just says there's no chance.

Im trying everything to get her back but she keeps pushing me away, she won't meet in the middle.

The worst part came the other night when she said she didn't love me anymore, can you really stop loving someone over a week or did she just not love me in the first place?
She text me back later saying she didn't know why she said it and that she was dissapointed because I hadn't texted her, even though she told me not too. Then yesterday she told me again that she didn't love me.

Im confused and hurt, she seems to be playing games with my mind, am I being selfish?

She's got her alevels in a few weeks and I'm thinking maybe it's the stress of that, maybe after her exams she will change her mind. I also believe her parents want her to have space too, I'm understanding of that but I would like to know once and for all.

All I can do is wait and see, wait till the exams are over and the stress is lifted.

What should I do, I want to move on but I can't help feel that one day she might want me back.

Hahaha, well, she is definitely so childish, so I have a good news for you::: SHE STILL LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! That's why she played games and still waited for your reaction and got upset. She just wanted to challenge your love and see how much u really want her. So.. there... go ahead man, if you still love her then go for it, just be patient, and she will see your love and she will come back BUT I WARN YOU THAT this game might happen over and over again out of her childishness.
So if you want a marture gal then u'd better off moving on and stay friends until she really grows up.
Goodluck man

Drop this girl, she is toying with you or found some one else. Either way if she can't commit to you or at the very least in providing you with an explanation for her behavior and the break up she has no respect for you or the relationship. I know you don't feel it now, but your better off without her and in due time you will see that to be true.

LEAVE HER ALONE and stop talking to her period. You are wasting your time waiting for some one who broke up with you. You won't be confused if you stop talking to her, and could move on, and get over this. Read other posts of guys on this forum that are going through the same thing. The ones who hold out hope can't move on, and the ones who sever all contact have moved on. YOUR choice.

Move on cut all contact, i kept in contact for two months did me no good at all. Just move on that's all you can do. Never call her again she asked you for something """A BREAK"" listen give her what she wants. Make her miss you she will regret her decision... maybe.

If she wants you back she will let you know. I sounds like she's unsure. If she doesn't love you anymore it more than likely happened over time and that's why she kept asking you if you loved her, it's the unsureness. The best advice I can give don't be with someone if they don't want to be with you. I think everything will work it self out.

but I can't help feel that one day she might want me back.

It would be unwise to sit and wait on a maybe when you could be using your time for more positive things to improve your life. Everyone who comes here after a break, thinks they have a chance to get back with there ex. What a waste of time and a good way to stop the healing process.

Would you like to go back to a girl who breaks up with you by sending you a text message ?
No personal conversation explaining how and why ?
Playing games now ?

Sorry, this does not sound like somebody who loves and respects you.


By the sound of this you are better off without her...

Remove her from your address book and move on.

Don't allow people to treat you like this...
Dumping you with a text message and then playing games... you must be kidding.

would you like to go back to a girl who breaks up with you by sending you a text message ?
no personal conversation explaining how and why ?
playing games now ?

sorry, this does not sound like somebody who loves and respects you.


by the sound of this you are better off without her...

remove her from your address book and move on.

don't allow people to treat you like this...
dumping you with a text message and then playing games....... you must be kidding.


The hardest part was that I tried ringing her but she wouldn't answer to give me an explanation, that was hard.

I can't blame her for dumping me, that's her choice, but it's the way she's handled it that hurts the most, she was once the person that brought so much joy into my life and now she's the one causing the misery.

Should I really just give up and move on, find someone else, what if I meet someone and lose any chance of getting her back, no matter how small a chance that may be.

Ps

Thanks for the advice, it is really helping me everyone.

What if you move on with your life, and meet someone a lot more compatible? That's one of the benefits of moving on we all find out about, and so will you. If you leave her alone and let the intense emotions you feel now, die down you will see things much clearer. Most who follow this suggestion and get to acceptance of the end of their relationship they find not only do they feel better but are ready for the new love that surely will come along. The only thing holding you back is you. Not easy I will admit, but that's the way we all have to go. Contact with her now would only give you false hope of her coming back, and leave you confused even more.

I agree and I will try, she seems such a different person to the one knew.

Everything was fine, there were no signs that this was coming.

She was my first love, its just sad to see the dreams I has fade into the night.

"she sent the text saying it was over "...
I was with my ex for 6 years, I told him to his face that I didn't want to be with him anymore, it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life,ever.
I felt evil, but I still did it the right way, if someone sent me a text to say it was over,they would get what they wanted without a second thought...

"she sent the text saying it was over "....
i was with my ex for 6 years, i told him to his face that i didnt want to be with him anymore, it was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life,ever.
i felt evil, but i still did it the right way, if someone sent me a text to say it was over,they would get what they wanted without a second thought....

So basically you're saying that sending a text wasn't the right way to do it, I agree there, but it's the fact that she wouldn't let me contact her at all to get an explanation, I had to wait 2 days before she told me why.

Thanks

So basically you're saying that sending a text wasnt the right way to do it, i agree there, but its the fact that she wouldnt let me contact her at all to get an explanation, i had to wait 2 days before she told me why.

thanks
Who puts up with that kind of treatment.

Who puts up with that kind of treatment.


I guess I just love her :(

But now its time to move on.

No I don't think her sending a text is the right way, I said if someone sent me a text saying it was over they would get what they wanted, that to me shows lack of respect, she can sleep with you, share your life but she can't tell you she doesn't want you anymore? She doesn't deserve you

I would listen to your friends on this one, it sounds to me like she already let go whilst you were still together, distanced herself in a way because she knew she wanted it to end,the thing is she didn't let you know this. Certainly not fair on you at all.
If it was as simple as her being stressed with her A levels wouldn't she want support from her boyfriend,not push you away? That's what its all about, you take the good times with the bad in any relationship.
I would try to move on, I know its hard I have been there,but in time you will know that you are ready to date again and when its too late she will probably want you back when she see`s how happy you are without her and all the mind playing games... good luck :-)

Thank you for your answers, keep them coming.

In all fairness to her though she is very young and never broke up with anyone before, I believe she is dealing with this in the best way she can.

Thank you for your answers, keep them coming.

In all fairness to her though she is very young and never broke up with anyone before, i believe she is dealing with this in the best way she can.


That might be true...
Having said that... that does not mean that you have to allow somebody to treat you like that... not even the person you love... you deserve love and respect.

Letting go of your first love is a hard thing.
For that reason alone -her being your first love- you will never forget her.
And that is fine.
We all probably still remember our first love and some of us have fondest memories, other's don't...
It's the experience...

We live and learn.
In love we fall and get up.

But sending a text matters when it comes to matters of the heart... that is not such a great idea.

Good luck !

Thank you for your answers, keep them coming.

In all fairness to her though she is very young and never broke up with anyone before, i believe she is dealing with this in the best way she can.

I'm going to disagree with you here zooropa. If you gave your time, energy, love, and trust to this girl she has the obligation to be up front with you and tell you in person or at the very least over the phone, not be a coward via text and age has nothing to do with it. That's a matter of respect and class, which she is obviously lacking in both.

To me what is even worse, is the fact that she choose to avoid you when you "dared" ask for an explanation. Quite honestly, that's BS. You were owed that and the fact that she not only wouldn't give you one, but actually avoided giving one proves she's not the person you thought she was or are still giving her credit for. Accept, and quite honestly be extremely proud of the fact that you are too good for this woman.

Thank you all for your answers, it truelly is making me feel a lot better, through time I will move on and the hurt will fade.

I know I will never forget her but sadly the memories right now only trigger sadness, will that change to happyness at some point down the road?

And in your very own opinion, if the day ever came, would she be worth taking back after the way she has treated me?

Thank you

I would need a lot of proof but anything is possible

And in your very own opinion, if the day ever came, would she be worth taking back after the way she has treated me?


That would be question that in the end only you can answer, but from what you write here I'd have to ask you why you would want to punish yourself after giving so much of yourself only to be disrespected and throw out without a care in the world. It's one thing to dump someone, it' another to do it in the manner she did it and not even provide an explanation. To go back to her, you would be selling out to someone that should be more important to you than her, and that is yourself.

So here's an update.

My ex text me and asked if we could be friends, I said yes right away but then it I thought about it.

Could I really walk beside her and not hold her hand? Could I really say goodbye without saying I love you?

My main thought however was that what if she found another guy, I would no doubt be told by her and may even have the misfortune to seeing them together.

I texted her back saying I'm sorry but I don't think we can be friends, she wants to meet up though after her exams.

What should I do?

Was I right in saying no to her friendship?

You were absolutely right as your feelings are to strong at this time to be put through the torture of seeing and talking to her without hurting yourself, some day maybe, but you will know when you can handle it.

How can you be friends with someone who treats you like crap?

Talaniman is right. I spoke to you before. My ex is pretty much the same. I'm sure you and I made a few mistakes, but so have they. We still loved them and brushed whatever they did aside, so why can't they do the same? It's because the both of us found girls who are still immature in a way, are unstable, don't love us the way we love them and are half crazy. You seem like a great guy. Just because you made a mistake and I'm sure you are the type to apologize then I'd say you deserve better. We both do. Sure they seem beautiful to us and we don't want anybody else but I think I've said that about the past girls. They come and go. The great thing is that we gave it a try. We will surely find someone a lot more fun and compatible and the great time we have with the next will be so much better than with the one we were with. It's hard to see it, just as it is for me, but it will happen for sure.

How can you be friends with someone who treats you like crap?


I agree but this is my whole point, during the relationship she was the kindest most sweetest girl you could meet, she treated me like a king. I don't know how she has done a 180 so quickly, that's what's so confusing and I'm trying to figure it out in my head.

You have to understand that she is acting like a completely different person right now, so cold and distant, it breaks my heart to see it.

And another thing, its been three and a half weeks now since the split, the pain is getting less and less but every morning soon as I wake up I get this pain inside my stomach and I can't help but think of her, its always in the morning. It was worse this morning though because I had a dream we got back together, then I woke up and... well it was tough.

Thanks

The ones we fall in love with are most of the times not the same person we break up with...

I agree but this is my whole point, during the relationship she was the kindest most sweetest girl you could meet, she treated me like a king. I dont know how she has done a 180 so quickly, thats whats so confusing and im trying to figure it out in my head.

You have to understand that she is acting like a completly different person right now, so cold and distant, it breaks my heart to see it.

However great she may have treated you in the past, this is the reality of now. Now she dumps you via text. Now she doesn't offer an explanation. Now she shows you no respect. Now she treats you like crap and if that's not enough she now wants to be your friend. I don't consider her actions those of a friend and I think if you weren't emotionally involved you would agree with me.

In fact reread this post only imagine it as though I wrote it and you were giving me advice. I think you'll see that what she's doing is not worthy of your friendship, and if it is certainly not at this time.


And another thing, its been three and a half weeks now since the split, the pain is getting less and less but every morning soon as i wake up i get this pain inside my stomach and i can't help but think of her, its always in the morning. It was worse this morning though because i had a dream we got back together, then i woke up and... well it was tough.

Thanks

That's your brains way to dealing with the loss. As you say it's heavier in the morning before you get focused on your day and you've had all night to dream about it. Try reading a book before you go to bed so that will be the last thing you remember. The dreams will eventually go away you just have to give your brain some other things to think about to help it along.

However great she may have treated you in the past, this is the reality of now. Now she dumps you via text. Now she doesn't offer an explanation. Now she shows you no respect. Now she treats you like crap and if that's not enough she now wants to be your friend. I don't consider her actions those of a friend and I think if you weren't emotionally involved you would agree with me.

In fact reread this post only imagine it as though I wrote it and you were giving me advice. I think you'll see that what she's doing is not worthy of your friendship, and if it is certainly not at this time.



That's your brains way to dealing with the loss. As you say it's heavier in the morning before you get focused on your day and you've had all night to dream about it. Try reading a book before you go to bed so that will be the last thing you remember. The dreams will eventually go away you just have to give your brain some other things to think about to help it along.

I agree completely, if I was reading it I would say forget about her and move on. Sadly I wish I could take my own advice, however I've deleted her from my phone, least now I simple can't have the urge to text her! I guess the next couple of weeks will be tough but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, as long as I keep going straight I will reach it.

They say love is blindness, I think that is very true in the case of me right now.

Yes she was nice in the past but now she's someone else, someone I don't like, my only concern is that maybe one day she will regret all this, that day will more than likely never come though.

Thanks.

You are being very wise.

I wish you all the best and hope that -when the time is right and you are healed from this relationship- you will be with somebody who does respect and loves you the way you deserve.

Good luck !

Its amazing, I've reread this and you know what I see?

An idiot lol

its amazing, ive reread this and you know what i see?

an idiot lol


Your not an idiot, lol, you love someone and can't understand why this happened.. we all feel that with our own situatuions. I have felt like an idiot at times too though... but it takes time to feel better.

Never regret any way that you feel, felt or acted, you do what you have to do to get through your own problems. You never know what each day brings... good luck ( :