panamasurf
May 9, 2007, 08:09 PM
I am a 56 year old man, married for 17 1/2 years to my current (third) wife. I am her second husband. Her previous husband was dating another woman while they were married and got the other woman pregnant before my wife decided to divorce him.
When I met my wife, I was still married to my second wife. We got divorced because of other preexisting problems, but I had dated my current wife before we got divorced.
I am retired from the Army, after 20 years. I worked as a physician assistant and pilot before moving to Panama 2 1/2 years ago to be able to spend more time with my wife and son. We live at the beach and my son and I surf almost daily together, which has been my dream for years.
My problem is that since we moved to Panama my wife has convinced herself that I brought her here to leave her and find a younger Panamanian woman. I tell her daily that I only love and want her. I tell her that she is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me and that I don't want to change her for anyone. Whenever we try to talk about it she ends up by telling me that we need to get a divorce.
I'm getting so frustrated that I can't do anything without her getting jealous. A few days ago we went out to dinner and she got jealous of the waitresses because they were cute and I smiled back at them. She accuses me of going to the beach more on Sundays so I can look at the girls. I fly to Mexico without her and she accuses me of having a girlfriend here. When I worked as a physician assistant she accused me of having affairs at work. When I worked as a pilot in California she accused me of having girlfriends everywhere I flew to.
About a year ago I invited a girl that I met while skydiving to come to our house for a while so she could enjoy some time at the beach while visiting Panama. It may sound suspicious, but I only wanted her to see something other than Panama City. She wanted to learn to surf and I thought that we could help her learn. I was in Mexico the first two days that she was there and my wife really enjoyed her. When I came home my wife was OK until she decided to do some other things and left my son and I alone with the girl. I was extra careful that nobody would even think that anything was going on between us (there wasn't), but she just completely came unglued and threw the girl out. That is when things really got bad.
Before we took a trip to California for Christmas she found out that I had been writing to some girls in different countries through one of internet friendship site and became very upset again. It was a stupid thing to do and I was doing it because I was bored. I quit doing it and haven't done it since. She still thinks I've met some of the girls, which I haven't and didn't plan to.
Well, now you know about the problems and why we have them. Please give me some ideas on what to do to help her overcome her jealousy so we can get on with our lives.
When I met my wife, I was still married to my second wife. We got divorced because of other preexisting problems, but I had dated my current wife before we got divorced.
I am retired from the Army, after 20 years. I worked as a physician assistant and pilot before moving to Panama 2 1/2 years ago to be able to spend more time with my wife and son. We live at the beach and my son and I surf almost daily together, which has been my dream for years.
My problem is that since we moved to Panama my wife has convinced herself that I brought her here to leave her and find a younger Panamanian woman. I tell her daily that I only love and want her. I tell her that she is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me and that I don't want to change her for anyone. Whenever we try to talk about it she ends up by telling me that we need to get a divorce.
I'm getting so frustrated that I can't do anything without her getting jealous. A few days ago we went out to dinner and she got jealous of the waitresses because they were cute and I smiled back at them. She accuses me of going to the beach more on Sundays so I can look at the girls. I fly to Mexico without her and she accuses me of having a girlfriend here. When I worked as a physician assistant she accused me of having affairs at work. When I worked as a pilot in California she accused me of having girlfriends everywhere I flew to.
About a year ago I invited a girl that I met while skydiving to come to our house for a while so she could enjoy some time at the beach while visiting Panama. It may sound suspicious, but I only wanted her to see something other than Panama City. She wanted to learn to surf and I thought that we could help her learn. I was in Mexico the first two days that she was there and my wife really enjoyed her. When I came home my wife was OK until she decided to do some other things and left my son and I alone with the girl. I was extra careful that nobody would even think that anything was going on between us (there wasn't), but she just completely came unglued and threw the girl out. That is when things really got bad.
Before we took a trip to California for Christmas she found out that I had been writing to some girls in different countries through one of internet friendship site and became very upset again. It was a stupid thing to do and I was doing it because I was bored. I quit doing it and haven't done it since. She still thinks I've met some of the girls, which I haven't and didn't plan to.
Well, now you know about the problems and why we have them. Please give me some ideas on what to do to help her overcome her jealousy so we can get on with our lives.