My girl broke up with me 8 days ago and its tearing me apart, ill start from the beginning.

Me and Jude had been going out for 10months, she was perfect for me. We quickly fell in love with each other after a few months, we are both young and so admitted that it was both of our first times being in love. For the first 2 or 3 months everything was perfect but then I did the stupid thing of asking about her ex's.

She told me she had only been with one other guy in a realationship, it lasted 6 months because he didn't treat her right, he would not show up and the thing that hurt the most was he didn't turn up for her 16th birthday party. She told me that this has left her insecure. They didn't hve sex but they did perform oral. I had no problem with this, he was after all, her byfriend at the time. Then came the shock.

She told me that 4 months before we met she had lost her virginity to a 28 year old man after a one night stand, she was only 16 at the time and so was a minor. This blew my mind, I'm the jealous type, I will admit to it, it bugged me for months but I kind of kept it in the back of my mind.

Everynow and then my girl would do little things that would annoy me, I never really argued over it, we never yelled or shouted at each other, I would only ever argue in a text when she wasn't near me, it was never heated only things like I don't want to see you tonight, silly things like that.

Anyhoo things happened and my jealousy would show more and more, this was my first relationship so these emotions where all new to me too. Her 18th birthday party was coming up and we had it all planned out to a T. I was so looking forward to it. Then she tells me 2 weeks before the party that she was having 2 different ones and that I wouldn't be invited to her night out with the girls. This made me jealous, I never let it show until we were both home and I texted her saying that I was a little annoyed. She didn't seem bothered so I texted her saying that I ju wouldn't show up to any of the parties. I later said I was sorry as I know that she was hurt before this way, I just wanted to get some kind of reaction from her, I was always planning on going.

I met with her that Wednesday and told her hw sorry I was, she seemed upset but fine at the end of the night. That Friday we went to the movies, I paid and she seemed a little distant, halfway through the movie she looked at me and grabed my hand, we both looked at each other for a secnd before kissing. I thought she was fine again, we went back to my car and made out for a while.

Saturday night came and we were going to a party, she seemed distant again, but I thought nothing of it. After a while she started saying she felt sick and I offered to drive her home early. I drove her home and she didn't speak, she got out of the car with a simple bye, that was the last time I would see her...

Sunday was the day it happened. I got a text saying that she couldn't handle the hurt and that she was ending it. I was shocked and confused. I phoned her and asked her why? She just told me over and over again that she had made her mind up. I started crying and begged her to change her mind, she was crying too but said it was too late, she hung up.

I tried to call her back many times that day but she wouldn't answer, it took her ages to finally text me back saying that she was sorry but it was over.

You have to understand that this was a girl who thought I was mr perfect, she loved me and wasn't afraid to show it, she asked me many times never to dump her (I wouldnt) and that I was the person she loved. She would text me and if I didn't answer within 30minutes she would text me back, text my sister and my mates to make sure I was OK.

Now I can't get her to text me back, when she does she says she wants to be friends, or that its over or she needs more time, I don't honestly know what she wants. I want her back so much but she doesn't seem bothered, I offer her to meet sh says no it will hurt her too much. I've said sorry and spent £50 on presents for her birthday which she refused to let me go too. She seems to have become a different person. She won't even talk on the phone because it hurts her too much.

She doesn't seem to care about my pain, she doesn't want to meet in the middle and its like I'm talking to someone else. Her friends and family don't want her to get back with me but I know deep down inside she wants it too work.

EDIT: I should point out that her reason for breaking up was because I reminded her of her ex boyfriend when I joked I wasn't going to her party, she says all the little tiffs we have had our coming back into her head all in one go and that she can't take the hurt. She says she loves me but she doesn't want to know about my pain or try and sort it out, she just says no.

What should I do? Im so scared that she may be gone for good. I know that if I give her time she will change her mind. I think it may come down to the stress of her A levels next month. Im so sorry for hurting her and I've told her so. What else can I do?

There's nothing else you can do but leave her be.

Even though she making out like it was all your fault,
I'm almost certain that she was probably having doubts way before you told
Her you weren't going to her b-day parties.

It sounds like the perfect excuse to get out of the relationship.

I would just give her space and time to think...
I wouldn't bug or beg her - that can be annoying.

Just go about your business and life confidently...
That's one of the most attractive quality a person can have.

If it doesn't attract her back, it will attract other great girls.
Try to work on the jealousy a bit too...
It makes people feel uncomfortable when they have a jealous significant other.


Kae

Dude I know, I've done it but it is going to really hurt but you have to let go SHE wants this and you have to let her be happy. Unless you become friends and rebuild your relationship

She wants us to be friends but with the way I'm feeling at the moment I cant. I need time to get over her, if I was to turn around and be friends then it would kind of give me false hope that maybe we would one day get back together again.

Ive done everythin I can to get her back, now all I can do is wait, I'm not going to text her anymore. I love her so much.

The funny thing is that she always begged me never to dump her, she would be the one that had the strongest connection in the relationship.

I think that her parents may have a hand in her decision as they would be very religious and I am not

Sry man! If I wus you I would give her some space, an see what happens. If she say's it is over may-b u should let her go! Yes, this may be hard 2 do, but there are other women in the world. Every-Thing happens for a reason, an you might find that special girl for you. Cause love don't happen like that, you got to kind of let it grow.

Here's the thing that is eating me up, she still says she loves me and cares for me.

How can she love me and not want to be with me?

Girls sometimes say that to let the guy down easy.

I'm not proud of it, but I did that/said that to guys before, just so that I wouldn't look like the bad guy (or girl in my case).

Is that you in the picture? You're a good looking guy.
I feel you should move on and fine someone else
That's not going to play with your emotions.

Kae

Yep that is me, thanks for the compliment.

I would say use this as a great learning lesson, 1. don't ask ever about the "ex" this applys to 16 or to 60 year olds, you base your relationshiop on who you are now, the past is always the past.

2. don't ever compare them to a ex you had

3. don't say things on email you would not say in person, and say less on eamil that is bad, since they can look at the email over and over and over, like you saying it bad 100 times.

As for the 28 year old, if she will not report it, I would, this person is a sexual preditor, no matter who he is, and if he used his position or charms to do this, he will again and again,

That's the thing, I want everyone to know what he did to her, he acts like a saved christian but my ex tells me he's not.

Everyone thinks he's a saint and he can do no wrong, I want everyone to see what he really is, she has begged me not to tell anyone and I think that if I did then I would never get her back,

I want him to pay for what he did, he took her innocence and then left her in pieces that night.

Should I tell people what happened and lose her completely or try and move on?