View Full Version : Getting engagement ring back and boob money.
SAB123
Apr 23, 2007, 11:10 AM
My selfish Ex fiancé broke up with again, about 6 times with me. Its been about 3 months since this break up. In the beginning she refused to give ring back. We have been emailing each other a little bit threw out break up. About 2 weeks ago I told her to leave me alone forever. But she still has ring and gave her some money for new boob job. The ring was about $7000.00 and gave $2000.00 toward boobs. I do have all reciepts for ring I did give her 2 checks totaling $2000.00 When I gave her the checks she got boobs done about a week later. I do have e-mails of how evil she was to me on saved. She is a paralegal so she does no law. But when I asked for it back she said I broke up with her. But as she cooled down and I wanted us to get back she clearly says she broke up with me and her saying I did give her money for boobs. My question is do I have a chance to win. I do think she wonts to try to get me back again but I'm done with her.
ScottGem
Apr 23, 2007, 11:12 AM
Not a chance In my opinion. You gave her gifts. Gifts are not returnable if the relationship breaks up.
SAB123
Apr 23, 2007, 11:17 AM
It wasn't on a holiday or her birthday. I gave her ring and boob money because we were getting married.
ScottGem
Apr 23, 2007, 12:30 PM
Doesn't matter!
Emland
Apr 23, 2007, 12:51 PM
I thought as long as you gave the ring as a gift towards a future marriage you had the right to have it returned. That rule doesn't apply if it was given on a birthday, xmas or valentine's, etc.
You're SOL on the boob job. Count that as money shot on a recreational vehicle! Unless you had a written agreement that she would pay you back.
You wrote on a different post that you question her sanity since she has broken up with you 6 times in 4.5 years, but seriously, you took her back. Once or twice I can see, but 6?!
SAB123
Apr 23, 2007, 12:51 PM
But isn't an engagement ring a contract to marry me.
missk
Apr 23, 2007, 12:51 PM
I think all you're going to get from this is a learned lesson. Sorry :(
Capuchin
Apr 23, 2007, 12:55 PM
If you're truly done with her, then get out of there and don't drag it out with trying to get money back and oneupmanship. You might have a chance of getting the ring, but I doubt it. The boob job is either a gift... or something you bought for your own pleasure.
The worst way to end a relationship is by dragging it out by bickering over this sort of thing. I understand that $7k is a lot of money, but it's money you spent on the relationship. Just get up and walk away.
Emland
Apr 23, 2007, 12:57 PM
You could always try taking her to small claims (isn't the max 5k?). The action may be enough to get her to give the ring back. I can't imagine it would look good for her at work to be sued for something like that. Here in VA it would only cost you about $30 to file.
ScottGem
Apr 23, 2007, 12:57 PM
Etiquette requires that an engagement ring be returned. But I don't think the law does.
SAB123
Apr 23, 2007, 12:59 PM
I thought as long as you gave the ring as a gift towards a future marriage you had the right to have it returned. That rule doesn't apply if it was given on a birthday, xmas or valentine's, etc.
You're SOL on the boob job. Count that as money shot on a recreational vehicle! Unless you had a written agreement that she would pay you back.
You wrote on a different post that you question her sanity since she has broken up with you 6 times in 4.5 years, but seriously, you took her back. Once or twice I can see, but 6??!!
In the past when she broke up with me I was emotionlly ustable, I just missed her so much and wanted her back. This time listening to people on here I've let myself to start healing and then started to put everything into perspective. I guess love is blind to some people
missk
Apr 23, 2007, 12:59 PM
Yeah I think it is wrong for her not to return the ring.
missk
Apr 23, 2007, 01:00 PM
Yep-you got it-love is blind.
SAB123
Apr 23, 2007, 01:07 PM
If you're truely done with her, then get out of there and don't drag it out with trying to get money back and oneupmanship. You might have a chance of getting the ring, but i doubt it. The boob job is either a gift... or something you bought for your own pleasure.
The worst way to end a relationship is by dragging it out by bickering over this sort of thing. I understand that $7k is a lot of money, but it's money you spent on the relationship. Just get up and walk away.
I don't care if I get ring back, it's the fact she used me and I don't want her to have it. I believe she is still wearing it.
Yeah I think it is wrong for her not to return the ring.
She's playing head games with me again and I believe she wants to come back but I don't want her.
missk
Apr 23, 2007, 01:12 PM
I think you need to just leave her alone. You know she is playing games with you so you got to let it go. If you don't want her then you have to leave her alone. Just don't have contact with her anymore-ever.
Emland
Apr 23, 2007, 01:26 PM
I would want the ring back.
missk
Apr 23, 2007, 01:31 PM
Maybe if you leave her alone and act as if you don't care anymore, maybe she'll give the ring back.
froggy7
Apr 23, 2007, 05:49 PM
It used to be that if the guy broke the engagement, the woman got to keep the ring as "recompense" (essentially, she took herself off the market for the guy, and would now have a harder time getting married because she was older and had the broken engagement against her). That idea has pretty much fallen by the wayside now.
So it's up to etiquette now. And it depends once more on who broke up with whom. And, to be frank, after 6! Break-ups and reconciliations, that is probably a very muddy question.
Best bet is to count yourself lucky that you didn't marry this person and walk away from the situation. Especially since you've said that you don't want the ring, you just don't want HER to have it. That's not going to look good to a judge, especially if she has anything from you where you've said that she could keep it. Walk away, get healthy, find someone new. The best revenge is to live life well.
CaptainForest
Apr 23, 2007, 10:34 PM
Take her to small claims court.
If she ended the engagement, you should get the ring (or its value) back in court.
As for the boob job, she will claim that was a gift, you say loan…let your evidence (and they judge) be the deciding factor on that point.
I sometimes watch Judge Judy on FOX. I have seen her order the ex girlfriend fiancé give the ring back to the ex boyfriend when it was the girlfriend who broke off the engagement.
SAB123
Apr 24, 2007, 05:29 AM
I'm not going to go after the ring she keep it and shove it up her butt.
excon
Apr 24, 2007, 06:08 AM
Hello:
Judge Judy thinks an engagement ring is given in contemplation of marriage. She thinks if the marriage is called off, the ring goes back. Who am I to argue with Judge Judy?
excon
ScottGem
Apr 24, 2007, 06:10 AM
I sometimes watch Judge Judy on FOX. I have seen her order the ex gf fiancé give the ring back to the ex bf when it was the gf who broke off the engagement.
The thing about Judge Judy (and the other TV judges) is they don't always follow the letter of the law in making their rulings.
I agree that the ring should be returned, but I don't think it's a matter of law that requires it.
excon
Apr 24, 2007, 06:16 AM
The thing about Judge Judy (and the other TV judges) is they don't always follow the letter of the law in making their rulings.Hello:
Does that mean my legal education is shot?
excon
fix-what-you-broke
May 25, 2007, 08:59 AM
I always thought it you split you give the ring back?
Synnen
May 25, 2007, 09:08 AM
Broken Engagement (http://engagementrings.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Broken_Engagement)
That article basically said what everyone here kind of said.
If HE bought it and SHE ended it, she should give it back. Law on this will vary from state to state, but basically, whoever bought the ring should get the ring back.
HOWEVER: One thing not covered in that article is that if the ring was given on a birthday, anniversary, or holiday, it is considered a GIFT, and does not need to be returned.
ballengerb1
May 25, 2007, 09:18 AM
I think you are totally out of luck for the $2k boob job but the ring is another matter. If it is in fact an engagement ring you can get it back. Since she is a paralegal you will likely find yourself in court to force her to return it. DO NOT REPRESENT YOURSELF if you go to court. If she lies and says it was a birthday present your job just got tougher.
SAB123
May 25, 2007, 10:52 AM
In the beginning she said I broke up with her from a voice message that I gave her but I just said It seems to me that it's over since she never called back. Couple of weeks later I e-mailed her, we e-mailed each other for about a week. And I do have e-mails saying she broke up with me. The first e-mail she said I broke up with her and she saved the voice message. But this far in the game I don't care about the ring anymore. But now my ex is she playing mind games with me again and probably wants to get back together. So I'm just moving on. She probably one day regret keeping the ring, because she actually looks like an idiot to her friends and family? Plus in the beginning lawyer told me it would cost several thousand to get ring back. I don't want to spend anymore money on her.