My 12 year old niece will be staying with my partner and I for the summer. My partner and I have been together for 11 years, and where my niece hasn't seen my partner since she was a toddler, my partner has been in her life on the phone, with birthday and Christmas presents, etc.

My niece has some emotional and behavioral problems that are due to a variety of issues that include parenting, medication, and a "supposed" bi-polar diagnosis. We are blessed to be able to provide a stable, happy environment for her for at least the summer and longer if it's meant to be. We know we're taking on a lot, but we don't currently have any children, we own a house and are financially stable which are all things that my sister cannot say.

Our question has to do with telling my niece about our relationship. We know once she gets here she's going to wonder why we share a bedroom. My sister wants to tell her that my partner and I are a couple and love each other just like mommy and daddy and wants to tell her before she gets here so as to avoid an uncomfortable situation for us. I kind of want to wait until she gets here and not say anything, just make it a natural thing and if she asks about it, tell her that it just is what it is.

I am looking for suggestions on the best way to approach this! Thanks!

She is 12, unless she lives in a cave or a convent she will know what is going on. And I would assume whoever is sending her may have given her some idea also.

At 12 she may have some preset ideas about this, please understand as I am sure you are aware not everyone is accepting, and if she has no idea before hand, this may be another issue on someone already having behavior and emotional issues. How would you handle her being frand and calling you a negative name ? Not saying it will happen but just what if,

But at 12, some kids that age are already sexually activie thierself, and sex should not be a shock to any of them.

If she's 12... She knows what lesbians are. I doubt she'll ask you but she might think it's a little weird.