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View Full Version : Really confusing sex question?


meghanharvard1
Jan 24, 2018, 10:43 AM
So yesterday me and my boyfriend were having sex in his car. Usually when we have sex (often) he lasts anywhere from 1-10 minutes. But yesterday was different. He had stopped texting me once he got off work at 12pm, I didn't think anything of it. He had picked me up at around 3-4 pm .We weren't really texting each other throughout the day which isn't usual, we usually will text each other throughout the day ever since I discovered his cheating problem, so now I have trust issues. But when we went to have sex yesterday it literally lasted an hour and 15 minutes. That is not anything like him, I've never seen him last that long unless he's on drugs. I confronted him about it today and he told me he was holding back from coming because he wanted to last longer while we had sex. Is that even possible? I'm just worried that he might have had sex with another girl after work and that's why he lasted so long. He told me he didn't even touch himself that day. Im also concerned that he might be on drugs and that's why that happened? It's just super unusual for him to last that long when he's not on drugs and I don't know if I can believe him when he said he was just holding back from coming. Is this normal for a guy or is it something else going on?

joypulv
Jan 24, 2018, 12:32 PM
''Normal'' means the norm, which means typical, average, acceptable. But I'm just picking on the ''typical'' questions about sex, and asking if they are normal.

Yes, holding an orgasm a long time is normal 'enough.' Usually when a man is young, but not inexperienced and easily excited by the newness of it all.
It DOES take practice for most men. There are many jokes about what to think about to hold the orgasm. Baseball stats seems to be a favorite, in the jokes anyway.

BUT what's infinitely more important is your lack of trust. He might be cheating. He might be taking drugs. He might have masturbated first.
None of us, of course, can tell you if any of those are true in his case. You did ask him (thank goodness) and still aren't sure.
Plus you forgot one: he had a chance encounter (non sexual) with a woman whom he found exciting, and he didn't masturbate, but just came without being anywhere near her. LET IT GO. That's just a wild guess, but men who like a lot of sex are going to get excited by other women, and you just have to accept that he likes YOU, and it doesn't mean anything.

So does my saying (and others will agree) that he might have just done what he said give you any relief?
If not, go back to HIM and tell him you just want to know more about WHY he held back.
And STOP texting so much. All it does is lead to enormous suspicion when there's a gap. It leads to resentment. It's boring. It wears out the romance PDQ.
It leads to thinking someone else is more mysterious and interesting. Stay mysterious!

Granted, this is a variation of a very ''normal'' situation in which we get suspicious if someone is extra sweet to us, or brings us something when it isn't our birthday, or just acts unusual.
You can sort it out, I think. Ask back if you can't.
I can be right and I can be wrong. Romance is very tricky. You want to trust, but you also don't want to be the last to know. C'est la vie. It happens. You try to find the middle ground, trusting, but keeping your eyes open, and knowing that nothing is ever guaranteed.
(I have to admit, having sex that long in a car sounds... uncomfortable, but I'm old.)

Vicd
Mar 27, 2018, 12:24 PM
I call bull! He either jerked off or got laid. Unless he slowed down continuously to hold off , he is full of it. 1 hour and 15 minutes.. all intercourse time? He was having trouble getting to the point of no return..