I got into a heated argument with my mom and pushed her I regret it cause it was over something so stupid but when I worked up the courage to apologize she said "i forgive you but thats something a child should never do and that i should ask god for forgivness cause he will shorten my life" which made me feel like my apology meant nothing this isn't the first time I've gotten in a heated argument with her but this is the first time I really felt she didn't care about an apology I deal with deppresion and this is making me even more depressed and alone I don't know what to do anymore some times I think about just giving up and taking my life for all the wrong I've done but I never work up the courage to I'm just tired of feeling like does anyone have some advice

So you pushed her, if she is angry she calls the police and presses charges. That is the adult world. You are sorry for it. So figure out, why it happened.

You were angry and yelling. So don't. If you get angry again, walk away, go out, take a walk, leave the house, get away.

Force, never, just walk away before it gets to that point.

Killing yourself? And that solves things how. Sorry never can understand why anyone, considers that a help. Once you are dead, you can not fix anything, OK, some times it takes years, not hours, not months. It took me over 10 years to get back into a good relationship with my mom.