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View Full Version : What should I do after I settled with the woman I impregnated although I'm married?


ZacR
May 26, 2015, 07:30 AM
I am a married man, but I impregnated a woman but my wife and my family still does not know about all this. The woman delivered our child. I settled the situation with the woman I impregnated that I will support the child according to my ability even though she demanded it but I'm doing this and the woman as far as I know is okay about this. Is there anything more I should do to make everything okay about this?

ScottGem
May 26, 2015, 07:39 AM
First, come clean to your wife. Because it is probable she will find out another way.

Second, this sentence doesn't make sense:

I will support the child according to my ability even though she demanded it but I'm doing this and the woman as far as I know is okay about this.

What did she demand and what is she OK with?

But I can tell you, that for your own protection, you should do this through the courts. ANYTHING you pay will be considered a gift to the child and NOT support. If she ever takes you to court because she feels you are not paying enough (a likely probability), the court is not likely to count what you pay as support and may require you to make back support payments.

At the very least, you need to make these payments by check or money order and keep copies forever.

It is unlikely that "everything will be OK about this". Unless you plan on being a father to the child it will never be OK. You showed irresponsibility in your actions that resulted in the child, know show responsibility in dealing with the child.

AK lawyer
May 26, 2015, 07:44 AM
I suspect "ZacR" is not in the US. We need to know what country you are in before we can give you useful advice.

Fr_Chuck
May 26, 2015, 08:13 AM
If this is America, get child visiation though the courts, and get the child support official though the courts, Not just giving her money, (that will come back to hurt you)

Then from moral reason, tell your wife. She will find out.

stinawords
May 26, 2015, 10:13 AM
First off, I would recommend telling your wife. Then get everything done through the court. The mother can file for support and you can file for visitation. If you don't want visitation you don't have to ask for it but again I would recommend it. If you are not in the U.S. we need to know where you are in general. Different places have different laws.

ScottGem
May 26, 2015, 10:34 AM
IP search indicates Philippines. While they have some odd Family law issues, I think the advice stands for there as well.