So my girlfriend and I broke about two months ago. She still loves me and I am very confused about whether I am still in love with her or not. I care very, very much about her and we still talk almost daily although we have been broken up for about two months. My question is this: I feel like I want to date other people right now to try and figure out if I can or cannot live without my ex. I don't know what the future holds for my ex and I. A possible reconciliation later. I'm getting off the subject. I guess my real question is, is it normal for people to essentially date and use these dates as a measuring stick to see if they are happy dating other people or they date and realize they really belong with your ex? And is there anything wrong with this thinking? I am 36 years old if that helps.

At 36 you should know that a break up means No Contact. Communicating with her daily isn't allowing you to go through the necessary healing process needed to move on.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/marriage-so-confused-809219.html

Your lack of complete honesty with this female will be your undoing in the long run, because you obviously have not shared your true feelings about your lack of commitment to her. While you talk everyday and profess feelings do you also share your concerns about the lack of sexual attraction, or as you have revealed here, your wish to date others?

If you cannot overcome your own fears and concerns and engage in honest communications, leave her alone to decide the truth for yourself, whatever that is, because you sure can't expect her to wait to find yourself and this everyday chit chat is an exercise in misery, and confusion.

LOL, most youngER guys want to sow some wild oats before they can commit to a life partner, yet you are 36, and no further advanced than a 20 year old in that regard. Few know that life and reality put all of us in the situation of sexual frustrations, for whatever reasons (Injury,illness, careers, or a house full of kids) in a marriage, and that's part of the risks, so if you cannot find the foundations of honesty, and temper your concerns with compassion, and understanding (RESPECT), then your selfish concerns based in FEAR, may lose you the opportunity for LOVE, and HAPPINESS you say you are seeking.

There are NO guarantees for either, just a willingness to take a chance. That starts with being honest with yourself, and BRAVE enough to express that honesty to HER. Only a fool hides behind the excuse of confusion when its time to make a good decision,and only a fool looks back and plays the wish I would have,should have game with HIMSELF.

Leave her alone until you figure yourself out, and can make a decision, because regardless, life and reality will make one for you, and you may NOT like that either.

I don't think it is fair to date other women, as a 'measuring stick' as you said, against your ex. This kind of thinking to me at least, means that you are not really over the relationship with your ex; you are still in touch, every day for example.

Your confusion over being 'over' her, or 'getting over her' or 'being in love with her', is all after the fact. You are broken up. It's over. For you to seriously move on, you have to cut ties, because the same ties bind you by having one foot in the past, and one foot in the future.

And, many times love has nothing to do with a breakup. You can love someone, yet, cannot be involved with them.

But, whether you are in love, or not, with your ex, please don't use other women to help you figure out if you want her back in your life. Comparing women this way is selfish and mean. You are not dating material yourself, because you are still so emotionally tied with your ex.

Until you are free from the ties that bind you to the past, you cannot move on and have a healthy relationship. She will remain a shadow over everything you do, any woman you meet, and any serious relationship that may come about.

Let her go, allow yourself time to stand on your own two feet without any relationship, for at least a few months. Zero contact. Even if you must tell her that in order to get over her, you cannot keep even a casual relationship, or friendship going.