Ive met him on summer, he was very sweet and gentleman, very black and white and also told me that he doesn't care so much about money, because money make people greedy. I liked him for being simple and freesoul, resilient and he make me laugh. He told me I'm the most important thing I. His life right then.

He had a problem with me giving good and money to those that begs and sings for us when we eat at restaurants. So by then I had to listen to his reasons and they were right. But felt guilty all the time I passed by beggars.

As we went to visit his parents for holiday, I fell in love with his grandma, she's very sweet, though we had a language barrier, I felt she was very nice and different too. And showed care without word needed to speak. But then the mom was very stingy too, but I do look for goodness all matters, and is fine with me than a lavish boyfriend/parents. Then he's changed when he was back home with his parents. Became stingy and insensitive. But in some ways he shows he's sincere about our relationship.

I'm 23 years old, self-supporting, the one who took care of me passed away when I was 12, I've worked hard to study and support myself on all bills and support my living. But working hard was just not enough in our country. Then I met him. He told me that the past girlfriend was very independent but they have gone different directions so decided to free each other. Then now, I am following him wherever his job is, because I'm going to take risk and willing to adjust for our relationship. If I would force him to stay with me in my country then he would never get as much money he earns outside, so we met halfway, he had option of working in a country halfway from me, I thought I would always find a way to make money with him wherever we live, so we take the same path. Meet halfwAy. But then I haven't work so much since we met and even if I'm with him on or before our holiday I had to keep paying my bills because we will never know what happens and then at least I still have a home to go back to. I've been sick for the past weeks while back home from holiday,so didn't accept jobs until I'm with him in this new country. But I'm bothered by him being so stingy, I just moved with him just for few weeks to see if I can find a job while I'm with him in this country but I told him that I need him to help me for the first few weeks on my job search since I've spent my savings paying for my own food and having beautiful times with him, I know I'm broke but I know it's just now, there's nothing wrong about saving money, but to deprive us from being productive and showing care to each other than thinking too much about money, when I had my money I always paid for my halls, sometimes I treat him. I am not demanding and never asked him for anything because I want him to be sensitive and have initiative to ask me if I'm hungry or if I need to go for castings, so I feel bad that he doesn't care even if he knows My situation. Also when eating, when I prepare food, we eat at the same time and he stand up even if I'm still eating,(which I'm not used to) and when g e prepares food, he only prepares for himself, and while eating I serve him food and then serve myself but then when I look at the serving plate, he finishes the food without asking if I still want more. Just little things that bothers me, I spare all the stingy part now, and trying to be more understanding that maybe it's just me. But now his values and manners on little things Are very important for me if I build a family with this man. I always thought sharing and caring is very important for a relationship. I thought he's just being frugal that's why he doesn't like me giving food to beggars, but then I realized that it's just him being something else like greedy and he's not even I think aware of it. I like that he's very tough and teaches me things I should be better about myself, but I feel unhappy. I don't know. I just need to know if it's just me or I need to forget about my feelings and Go back being myself again and leave him hanging in this place.

Why would you think it's "just me"? He sounds horribly selfish and insensitive. You've been doing all the work in this relationship in an effort to please him and keep him from complaining. What relationship efforts is HE making????? I say leave him and take care of yourself. You owe him NO explanations and apologies, and he will be sure to try his best to make you feel like a bad person, unloving and guilty. Do not give in!!!!

Now that you have had some time to know what living with him would be like, decide if that is how you want to live your life. Is it how you picture yourself when you think of being married to someone? Is it the sort of upbringing you would want for children that you may have someday? Your answers will likely tell you what you should do.

You pay the fare to go see him and have to buy your own food, while he cooks just for himself?
That's carrying independence too far.
OR he doesn't really want you to live with him, and is sending a message.
Go home and get back to earning and saving money. Regardless of how worthwhile he is as a person, you can't afford this relationship, period.

How old is he? Did he tried to take care of you while you were sick? Does he show any affection?


Ive met him on summer

If I am understanding the timeline correctly you met him approximately six months ago and you are already moving around to accommodate his needs while suppressing your own. It seems to me that you did not know him very well before you changed your life to fit into his.

I think you are just now beginning to see him as he is instead of who you wanted him to be. I have a feeling that there are cultural differences as well as personality conflicts causing issues. Were you raised with different expectations for relationships and the individuals' roles in the relationship?

Have you tried talking with him? If you haven't then that might be a place to start. If you don't think you can or refuse to try, then walk away. Marriage and raising children takes communication and cooperation to succeed. There is really no point in staying together if all you are going to do is build a wall of frustration and other negative emotions between you. It will end up affecting your families, friends, and any future children.

He is who he is and now you are seeing first hand who he really is without the wild eyed romantic notions and attractions. You are seeing first hand why his last girlfriend went her own way, and no doubt you will do the same.

This is often the case when the lust fades and you find out whether its love that grows, or there is nothing there to build on. You can stay and do it his way, or go and find your own happiness elsewhere, because the likelihood he changes for you, and does what you want done for you, is really slim, and NONE.

At least you are finding out NOW rather than later, that more investment into this experiment is not worth it, but you tried and it was fun... until the lust wore off, and reality became apparent. You made the decision to try this experiment, and now you can make the decision to STOP the experiment, based on FACTS, and not just FEELINGS.

Breakups suck, but only for a while, usually until the next romance.

You gave up far too much to be with him. You follow him around, and he throws crumbs your way. He is critical and selfish. Neither of you are on the same page. Communication seems non existent.

Think of where you were before- independent, self-sufficient, making your own way, calling your own shots.

Then less than a year ago, something about this man let you forget who you were, and your personal expectations and standards were tossed to the side of the road, and you accommodate his bad behavior, and lack of respect.

But it's not all his fault. You chose to go, and you choose to stay. That is still your call. You didn't have a backup plan in case things didn't work out. You chose to use your savings up in order to move and be with him. You rolled the dice on finding work that hasn't panned out, and you mistakenly thought he would be a supportive, loving partner.

Nothing has worked out.

Go home, lick your wounds, and prepare to put yourself out there to get back to where you were before you met him.

Lesson learned.