Where to begin?? It began over 20 years ago and I fell so deeply in love…yes at the young age of 16. He was absolutely amazing and there wasn't anything I would not do for him. Then, it hit him…I was his first real girlfriend, and he had basically had no attention prior to that. After about 6 months, he realized that other girls were on the same page as I was and so he decided to test the waters. That being said, waters tested, and I moved on. I was brought up to be a very non-tolerant woman and no man (boy) would ever do something like that to me again.

Fast forward 20 years….He and I have always had the same friends in common. Through this wonderful thing called Facebook, he found me. Yes, my high school sweetheart is back and what do I do?? I was so thin back then and physically fit. Now, I have the body of a woman who has given birth to 2 children, both too large to deliver naturally. What this leaves me with is horrible stretch marks on my boobs, stomach, hips and thighs, flab for days and a c-section scar that is literally hip to hip…thanks to the rather large babies I have been blessed with. I am now about 60 pounds heavier than when he and I dated back in high school. I have visited him a couple of times and I have been so self-conscious. I know I am larger than I have ever been, though I have not reached 200 and hope I do not because I am only 5'6.

He has remained physically fit and more attractive than ever. He swears that he is so in love with me and wants to marry me! WHOA…not what I expected. He says a woman with curves is just that much more beautiful. How can this be? My ex-husband made fun of me because of my weight. Yet my high school sweetheart thinks its super attractive. Again, HOW CAN THIS BE? He has never dated anyone my size, yet I'm supposed to trust that he is honestly looking at me like I'm the most beautiful thing on this earth? He even loves having sex with me. And I must admit, the sex is amazing, but my shirt is always on and he hates that!

What in the world? Does this seem real? Is this possible or am I blinded by the thought of acceptance and love. HELP!!

Unfortunately, your ex helped in your focus on appearance. Keep in mind, not every man is the same. If you have no reason not to believe what your old flame is telling you, then enjoy it, relish in it, and live it up!

If you are not happy with your weight for yourself, then do something about it. You have a great opportunity since this new (old) guy, apparently is into keeping fit; you can work at getting fit with him.

Just a word of caution... if either of you has recently separated from others... move slowly. Let things develop and see where they lead. Good luck!

While every fear you have is understandable, and I would be the same way, I think, it's easy for me to sit here and tell you how silly you are being!
You are not only being silly, you are going to lose him if you keep this up.
So like everyone has to do with detrimental feelings that are hard to shake, you force them under the lid, for the sake of the good thing you have.
RIGHT????
If you need therapy, get some.
OH - and don't keep putting yourself down to his face, because that is cute and charming only so long. It's really just fishing for compliments, for assurances. He has assured you that he loves you and wants to marry you. RIGHT???

Have a glass of wine or smoke a little pot.

WOW! Thank you both for putting it so clearly! I have lost about 35 pounds, and I hope to keep losing more. He really is a great man, but my own insecurities have me so tightly wound. Glass of wine and a little pot just might work, and it would bring back the good ol days.

Can't you just enjoy yourself and be grateful for the fun? Man, those insecurities and low self esteem have to GO!

It sounds to me like unconditional love on his part. He loves YOU, not what you look like. And he know years have gone by and you've had a life. Lose the weight for you, not for him. You are one very blessed lady!

Talk about horseshoes up the ________. You have it all my girl, enjoy it, revel in it and don't worry about how you look. You are a beauty queen in his eyes.

Thank you tickle and wondergirl. My insecurities are getting the best of me and I am blessed to have a man who cares so deeply about me that my size is nothing to him My only question is HOW DO I GET OVER IT? I was married before and he was not kind with his words. Horrible things were said after I gave birth to both of my children that have stuck with me for years. I am really grateful that my high school sweet heart is back and I'm afraid that I will run him off. Again, HOW DO I CHANGE THIS WITHIN ME??

Keep losing the weight. Get a new hairdo/makeover at the beauty salon. Change up your wardrobe here and there.

Of course, no matter how ravishing you look to the rest of the world (and to him), you will try to sabotage all your efforts by whispering negative things to yourself. How about doing a spin on Oprah's gratitude journal. At the end of each day, in a notebook, list five things positive about yourself or what you did for yourself that day.

Think before you act or speak and be good to yourself. That you have carried this baggage around for so long its probably a good idea to not only be reasonable and patient with yourself, and your expectations for this relationship. The main thing is to get on a healthy path for yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, ut stay balanced in your approach.

I am not trying to rain on your parade, but allowing yourself to get to dependent on this ex sweetheart to be happy with yourself, is as bad as allowing yourself to be unhappy, with low self esteem, and confidence for all those years with your ex husband.

Learn to put yourself first and take care of your own needs for yourself. Being self reliant is a confidence builder and will get you through those hard times that are inevitable no matter who you are with, or more importantly, whatever life throws at you. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you KNOW you can pick yourself up.

It's a process you have to practice. CHOOSE to be happy! As WG said, make gratitude your attitude and take everyday as a opportunity to be good to yourself.

I agree with wondergirl. Keep losing the weight, walking is always good for that and anyone can do that without expense. Change your lipstick colour, try to things with make up. Your insecurities won't last long after working diligently on yourself. When you start losing pounds, nothing can stop you.