I have been friends with Mike for 12 years. This all started when I got him a job teaching at a college. Although he didn't ask for it, there was a spot open, and since he is a teacher, I asked if he was interested. He said yes and I went above and beyond in recommending him to my supervisor, who I also developed a friendship with during my time working there.

From the first day he started, he was extremely assertive in meetings, as well as always had to show that he is the smartest guy in the room. This began to rub people the wrong way, as well as my supervisor. I would hear certain things about him and let Mike know that certain feelings were being expressed about him. Mike kept stressing how unhappy he was with my supervisor and even felt that someone was trying to sabotage him. I though he was a little unreasonable, because he was looking to put blame on everyone else rather than look at himself. Keep in mind that Mike and I have been talking everyday for since he was hired and sharing our feelings and gossip about the job.

One day, my supervisor let me know that someone left a letter in her faculty mailbox which expressed that she is not a good supervisor. She told me to keep it under my hat, as she did not want the rest of the faculty to hear about it. Shortly after, Mike and I went out for dinner, and I made the mistake of telling him, but expressed to him that he must keep it to himself.

I was in my supervisors office and something was said to me about someone coming up with a great idea. To be honest, Mike first expressed that idea in a meeting, which I tried reminding my supervisor of, but she dismissed it and gave someone else the credit. Not long after this, Mike was getting frustrated with how he felt he was being treated and decided to have a conversation with the supervisor. A week goes by and my supervisor invites me my girlfriend over for dinner. While there, she wanted to clear the air of any bad talk that has been going on in the department. I expressed to her that I am fine and if she is having issues with anyone else, she should have a conversation with them.

A few weeks go by and I do not hear form Mike, nor do I reach out to him. I speak to him today and ask if everything is alright. He then begins to explain that all I was causing a wedge between him and the supervisor, which is why he was upset with me. I try to explain to him that I went out of my way to recommend him for a job that he took, so it made no sense for me to try and cause a wedge, as I brought him into the job. His response was that things sometimes change. I told him he is ridiculous to think that. He then went on saying that he did talk to the supervisor and cleared things up. He even told me that he brought up the letter to her. When I asked why he did that after I told him not to say anything about it, his response was just a shrug and telling me that the cat is out of the bag and it doesn't matter.

Why would my friend think that I am causing a wedge when I went out of my way to make sure he was offered the job, as well as divulge information that I told him in confidence, which now makes me look bad to my supervisor?

Just an FYI, I found out that in his other job he is known for causing drama, and that what happened here is not out of the ordinary, according to my sources.

You must not have worked or knew him from a work environment. He sounds like a very obsessive people, who has a certain type of personality that works good in some management positions, but not always in education.

First, he feels no loyality to you for helping him get the job, he feels he got it, because of his ability, you merely arranged interview.

Next he believes he is better than you and most other workers and wants everyone to know it, He appears to even think he knows more than supervisor and most likely wants that position.

In a work environment these type of people will do anything needed to get ahead, including ruining someone else's,

Time to break friendship and understand often it is hard to be friends with people at work,

You made a mistake in going to bat for your friend. Had you not been friends with your supervisor, perhaps she wouldn't have made the decision she did. I think there are lines that were crossed here, professionally, as well as personally.

You put your supervisor in a precarious position, because she is your friend. Like you, she doesn't want to cause problems for you and your friend, and she probably realizes that she made a mistake in hiring him. You feel obligated to your friend, and you don't want to see problems between you and him, and your supervisor, so you continue to try to mitigate the damages he keeps inflicting upon you and your supervisor.

In other words, you and your friend/supervisor, are spinning your wheels while this friend of yours keeps getting away with bad behavior, probably, under different circumstances, would see him out the door.

You wouldn't have known what your friend was like when you went to bat for him to get this job, and blindly sung his praises to your supervisor, who trusted your judgment, personally and professionally. It is not your fault that the supervisor made a bad call, regardless of how wonderful you thought your friend would be for the job. She too, could have made a few phone calls and thought twice about hiring him if she found out he caused problems in other places he'd worked. But even then, the friendship with you would have made her cross the line of doing her job, vs doing her job without causing a problem between you and her, and she hired him.

You have to accept that your friend is not who you thought he was. I would completely sever ties with him, and other than professional courtesy at work, distance yourself from him otherwise.

That would give your supervisor some breathing room, seeing that you are no longer friends with him, and she would feel more inclined to deal with him, as she should have by the sounds of it, right from the get go.

I would also refrain from, and retreat from, any conversations, gossip and drama that he is going to create. Stay completely out of it. Once he is gone, maybe have a conversation with your supervisor if she requests it. Otherwise don't go there either.

You can't be faulted for believing that your friend was who he appeared to be, and assisted him in getting a job. But considering the circumstances now, the only thing you can do is distance yourself from him, realize that it was a big mistake to get him a job where you work, and stay in the shadows. Do be prepared however, when push comes to shove and he's pushed out the door, he will attempt to take him with you.

It looks to me like you have tried to be liaison and peacemaker to all involved, but did in fact contribute to the fiasco, and are too naive for this intrigue. You were asked to keep the letter under your hat, yet told it to the very person who is probably the last one whom you should have told. You are surprised that he used the knowledge, possibly to make himself look better at your expense, by tattling on you for telling him!

As my friend, I never thought he would stoop that low to undercut me and try and cause a divide between my boss and myself. I never knew how he was in the workplace until seeing him in action, as our friendship existed outside the workplace only. I thought I was being loyal to my good friend of 12 years.

Your first clue was his behavior after he was hired, but you still made the mistake of telling him things you should not have. He betrayed your confidence, after you betrayed your supervisors confidence. Enough of this blame and shame though as you obviously have to adjust your own behavior and professional boundaries so as not get caught in the middle of any of this drama again.

Good intentions often go awry through no fault of your own, but this time you did play a role in this and it backfired. Your supervisor is probably as disappointed in you, as you are in your friend. You may have been caught off guard by your friend, which is understandable, but move forward and take what you have learned to heart. Disappointing, yes, very much so, but a valuable lesson to never forget. You now have a better picture of his true nature, not colored by just a friendship since now you are also colleagues.

Sorry it took so long to see your friends flaws. Keep him a safe distance so you don't get caught up in his behavior drama again. He doesn't deserve, nor shares your blind loyalty. A hard lesson but a valuable one.

Great advice. I had a conversation with my supervisor this morning. She told me not to worry about my job nor my friendship with her. Everything is still intact. She has witnessed him being a troublemaker.

Your so called friend sounds very narcissistic, controlling and manipulative. Maybe it's time you distance yourself from him.