keeks143
Oct 31, 2014, 03:48 AM
Since I was little, me and my Mum have always been very close. I used to tell her everything, But since I was 11, I have been self harming, and kept it a secret, but confided in my two best friends. One night, when I was 13, I was feeling like if I got out of bed, I would do something stupid, so I lay in bed as I texted my friend to tell her I was scared because I wanted to kill myself. My friend panicked and called my mum, who called me (I was away at a relative's) and asked me what was up. I said nothing, and she left it at that. Later though, my school found out, because my friend told them. I was called by the school protection officer and they called my parents. It was only then my mum found out about my self harm. She was upset as I didn't tell her, and hurt too. She began to blame herself, even though I didn't self harm because of her, or anyone in my family. Now, she doesn't trust me. She's always checking my arms and wrists, and I hate it. I know she's looking out for me though. Recently we have been arguing at a lot. At my therapy, she found out about my suicidal feelings and now is even more upset. I feel so bad, and I don't feel comfortable around her anymore. We continue to argue every day about something, and it just reinforces my point at to why I felt more comfortable telling my friends than my own parents. I can just see us drifting apart and I'm worried. Does anybody know what I can do? I do recognise that there's not going to be any list of steps or anything, though.