I've used this site numerous times in the past and every time the advice that I received was literally dead on. This story is a little different though and I need advice pronto! A little background information. I'm a territory sales manager for PepsiCo, I deal with multiple accounts on a day to day basis and we regularly change sales routes from time to time. So I started my new route and at one of my accounts which is a Target superstore. I noticed this very beautiful woman, she was literally everything that I had always been looking for in a woman. Physically she was perfect, and then after introducing myself working with her for this past year on the route it turns out we have so much in common also. It was weird like we just clicked, usually I just chase women on looks if you look at my old posts on this site and its gotten me nowhere. This time around I actually got to know someone and communicated on a day to day basis.

I only go to that account on Friday's so I only had one day a week to talk to this girl. Every week it became better and better. Over the course of the year, it felt as though we had become great friends. My company has a pretty big policy against sexual harassment or dating bosses at the accounts so I never pursued it in a relationship type of a way. Even though I was completely interested in it. So at the beginning of summer I hired a part time helper, that actually used to work at this Target with this girl. I made the mistake of telling him that I thought she was beautiful and really interesting. He thought it'd be a great idea to go in that day after working with me and telling this girl that I liked her and gave her my number. After learning this, I felt completely uneasy and very awkward. So I started to cut the conversations with the girl short, because I would have asked her out on my own terms.

She still came up and talked to me on occasion and I'd keep it strictly business she never mentioned this kid doing this so I don't know how to take this. Months go by and we still kept talking cordially. Than the Coca Cola rep said that he was dating her so I completely backed off, I kept conversation to bare minimum like I did when my coworker pretty much shot my legs off. Last thing I want is to get in trouble with my boss, and lose my route. She would still have conversations with me but it was simply Hello how are you type of deals. More time goes by and then last Friday she came up to me and said this is my last day in this store I'm being transferred to Greenland Target, which is 30-45 minutes from where I live. So she shook my hand I said that I was going to miss her, and she goes miss me? You only talk to me for 30 seconds while you're here now. It felt like flirting, it felt like I needed to man up and ask her for her number but I just let it go.

Then before I was leaving I said eff it, I'm going in, this girl was the one I've always wanted. So I'm looking for her to ask her for her number to keep in contact maybe even get a date but she's surrounded by co-workers and I didn't want to put her on the spot. So that's that, I lost out on the girl of my dreams. Than I find out that she turned down the Coca Cola rep and he made all of that up. So I tried to find her on Facebook, or anything on social media and she's a complete ghost. I have no way of asking her out unless I go to Greenland target or just call up the store to talk to her. So I grew a set and drove to Target Greenland last Wednesday with my grandmother. My grandmother lives literally 1 minute away in Portsmouth so it did seem legit taking her shopping because she doesn't drive in the first place. Turns out She had the day off! I really don't want to wonder what if my whole life and I really liked this girl a lot. I feel like she liked me as well but she always kept it professional.

My friend is the sales rep of that store so I told him to give her my business card and say that I'd like to keep in touch and that there's no other way to get in contact with her. Or do I just call up the store and ask to talk to her without sounding like a creep by doing that, I have no idea what to do. I think my co-worker would make it seem less creepy and make me look less stalkerish than me actually calling the store while she's working to try and ask her out on a date. Plus I'd also know if she's interested if she even messages me. I don't know, I guess I'm just venting and looking for alternative advice or for what to say to this woman. I need help!\==dsdsdsd

Take your grandmother shopping again on a different day, and see if the girl is working that day. Or better yet just go by yourself on a day you visit your grandmother. I shy away from second parties handling romantic tasks for me personally, but you know where she works, and have legit business to run into her, so take the opportunity to do so yourself.

Then you can keep it to yourself, no matter what comes of it. LOL, you may have to explain why you visit grandma so often all of a sudden, and she may wonder why you stopped after you either get a date, or get rejected.

Respect grandma no matter what.

Thing is it's 30 minutes from me also the girl now works in Human Resources so she wouldn't be on the sales floor even if it was a chance encounter

Thing is it's 30 minutes from me also the girl now works in Human Resources so she wouldn't be on the sales floor even if it was a chance encounter
You've known her for a long time, and she told you where she was going to be working. I'd take the bull by the horns and call her and mention that you weren't able to ask her out in the past because of company rules. Like tal said, this is something you have to do yourself and don't be a Myles Standish (please Google Longfellow's poem). Plus, I prefer Pepsi over Coke -- and maybe she does, too.

I would drop in to see my friend's new office, and see if she would be free for coffee, or get her number, if she isn't.

Ok so I manned up and called up the Target... The person answering the phone said they never heard of her etc. Said the human resources lady there is someone else. After hanging up the phone being completely discouraged my co-worker called me up after visiting the store and doing background research. Turns out she doesn't start working there until weds(tomorrow) so that's why no one knows of her. So I'm not going to call her or visit on the first day. My work week starts on Friday so I figure I'll just try calling up the store again Friday after her having two days to settle in. It isn't like an office setting so just visiting to check up on her office is undoable also they have their offices locked under keypad security and no outside people are allowed in not even employees that aren't qualified. After all this work, I really hope I get to go on a date haha. But the plan is call her on Friday and hopefully catch her before her lunch break. If I don't I'll leave a message!

And please let us know what happens!

I'm extremely nervous haha. I talk with people all day at work, I have great communication skills and I'm very sociable. I'm a salesman, it's what I do! But this girl, when I see her my heart flutters. I lose track of thought and can't even put together sentences sometimes. This has never happened to me before and that's why I know something here is different! I need some advice on how to break the ice

Break the ice on the phone or when you go out with her?

On the phone, so it isn't too weird. Got to keep it short, straight, funny and direct. I'm putting in so much work to find her, this reminds me of saving private Ryan lol. I'm thinking of saying instead of thirty seconds let's try dinner

Ask her if she'll give Pepsi a try.

Congratulate her on the new job and ask if you can have her number to keep in touch and have a coffee.

Ok so I called up following Friday and got the same receptionist or whatever on the phone. She was irritated and honestly didn't still know who the girl was. So than after hitting another brick wall, I ended up messaging my old co worker Adam about a last name. He gave it to me and than I found her on LinkedIn, but still not on Facebook. So than I tried a search with first and middle name and I found her yesterday afternoon! So I sent her a friend request, and sent that message congratulating her on the new position, saying I wasn't kidding about missing the 30 secs and maybe we could make it a minute. We have zero mutual friends, and she hasn't accepted friend request yet. I sent it at 4 pm yesterday after my meeting at work. Since we have zero mutual friends, and it doesn't mark my message as read, Facebook could've put it in the "other" folder and she may have never got it. I don't think she knew my last name, so I don't know what to really do next... Try sending another message? And pay 1$ so it goes to her actual inbox?

And in the next message just sort of put it all out there? Considering I paid a dollar, and I really like the girl. Than just let it go, and at least I can say I tried

Relax guy, and back up, regroup, and rethink, before you invest a buck on a desperate last ditch tactic. Be cool and see what happens. Did I say relax? You are so caught up in your own feelings you are forcing something unnecessarily at this point.

Take a while to think on it and see if you missed something in all of this.

Her Facebook did say August 1st for profile picture change, so she may not always be on Facebook. So maybe I am jumping the gun a little bit, I guess I'm just excited cause this has been a lot of detective work for me to actually get this far. She doesn't have a boyfriend, I know this from old co workers at her store. I just really never felt so interested in someone so quick and finally found the girl

Well I've never had to Facebook creep someone before either. She could also be busy with the new position. I guess I'm not patient, but if she never got the message I'll never know

So take a break before you do something creepy. All this attention on one girl can't be healthy since you acknowledge you have no clue as to what she is dealing with at this time. Breath and enjoy your world why don't you, and just relax and be cool for a bit.

LOL, meet a girl you like and are now stuck on her it seems and all your best efforts haven't worked to get closer. Give yourself a chance to relax and NOT obsess. Trust me you will have a better perspective on YOUR actions in a week of just going about your own life and business. Fill in the holes of your own social life or something.

Just be cool for a while man.

I understand what you're saying, I really hope I didn't scare this one off . What I don't get was, why go out of her way to see me sometimes than ignore my request it's been almost 2 days now. Probably wondering how I actually found her, never got the message, creeped out or playing a game. So my best plan of attack, just go on with my life, if something comes of it good? As far as this girl situation is concerned what else could I try, or just leaving the ball in her court and see where it goes? I didn't send a creepy message and I'm not a weird person, only way I'd ever get to talk to her again was by this

My guess (just a gut feeling) is she got creeped out. With all the cases of stalking, abductions and missing women in the news recently and currently... she probibly feels like she's being stalked.

Dammit, I'm a very clean cut, actually preppy kind of guy. I hope you're wrong, cause I'm a good guy

Should I just cancel the requests?

All I literally did was search her name and she was at the top of the list how could that be stalking. Oh well, I gave this an honest effort

Nobody can really guess how another might react in a given situation... since women are most often the target (excluding children) they will naturally be more attuned and sensitive to it.

Is she? I don't know... just tossing out a hypothetical based on a few cases I've seen over the years.

There are several cases in the news right now...mother absconded with the two kids....she's sitting in jail right now and refuses to say where the kids are. Its being prosecuted as a murder investigation. Another is a freshman in College in Charlotte NC that dissappeared. THey know who she was last seen with and he took off (high speed chase days later after being named a person of interest). Warrant out for him now on several things. Don't know where you are and it doesn't really matter.....but if you both are in the DC MD, VA, NC areas..this is on the news every day right now.

The truth is guy, you never know what some are going through, and few if any of us know anything of the strangers we are attracted to, and cannot predict how they will react to us, or our actions, if indeed she knows of your efforts. The reasons don't matter, and all that does is the fact you have reached a brick wall, and that mean slow down, backup, regroup and rethink. Not just for the moment, but long enough for the emotional dust to settle, and the best way to do that is get back into the routine of your own life, and focus on what you already have going for you.

So never assume about what you cannot control, or the bad timing of a plan you invested so much hope into, just get back to what you can control, yourself, and what you do next, hopefully for your own betterment, and enjoyment. Just let it go for a while, and more will be revealed later, while you just live your life, and see other options, and opportunities for fun, and romance, when you are ready.

No need to be stuck on this at all. Keep it real by moving forward.

I just wanted to say thank you for the support over the years Tal. You're right I can only control my own future. If something comes of this than that's terrific, if nothing I've still got myself to take care of. But at the end of the day at least I know that I committed to something, I saw it through and gave it my all. So I've got no regrets, and I can be the best that I can. There's always another lol, be nice though