I've never felt worse than this, I wake up everyday, my mom says"you are useless"
My sister says"you are a failure" and the rest of the family are like"she's not going to go anywhere with her life"
I'm living everyday with that, I feel like I'm a nothing, just born to be nothing.
I used to be really good earlier in life, I got good grades and I had creativity, I was a good painter and also good at writing. But now I'm just living to die, too weak, full of fears and anxiety.
"she has issues" "she can't do anything by herself" "she doesn't care about her future"
I hear that all the time and just continue my day with depression, crying, suicidal thoughts, etc... I'm not thinking about committing a suicide a lot though, because deep inside I still have hope.
I tried getting in college but I failed at my admission test, I still have a chance with getting in college but the subject isn't something I like, but I'm thinking, why not study it and if I began to like it things will be okay, if I didn't I can change to another subject next year.
But no one in my family seems to understand that I'm actually trying to get out of the failure circle, everyone is like"she's useless, she's always going to suck at everything and she will always need our help because she is irresponsible"
They don't want to understand that I do have motivation to change and be a normal human being with use.
It's sad, to feel that the closest people to you are having such thoughts about you.
I lost all my friends, because all of them are busy "living and improving" while I'm just in my room lost and being insulted everyday.
What can I do? How can I convince my family that I'm a normal human being that has got dreams and want to be independent? Sometimes words fly out of my mouth when I talk to them because they all seem to believe that I'm just useless.

So prove them wrong.

It appears you failed and did some things wrong, at some point.

Next first year of college is normally nothing but basics, and what the major is, does not matter a lot.

So you change, you put effort in, and prove them wrong

Life is what you make it. Don't blame sitting in your room sulking on others. If you don't have shackles and chains keeping you there... then its because YOU made the decision to do it.

Other people like lively friendly people to be around... they naturally gravitate away form those who moan doom and gloom all the time and have a fatalistic view of everything.

As was said.. get out and prove them worng... right now all you are doing is proving them right.

Ever hear the term "Carpe Diem"? It means seize the day. Successful people take charge of their own lives... and they usually succeed more often than they fail as a result. Nobody ever hands anything to someone that sits around moaning and complaining.

Being depressed doesn't mean you just get off your chair and go running around being happy and productive. Your father wanted to make you get a nose job, for pity's sake. I feel for you. You do feel sorry for yourself a bit too much on the surface showing here, but I think it's all based on a very low sense of self worth that you grew up with. I wasn't too different, BUT I tried to please my parents with good grades, and did get good grades (never did please my mother, who had her own misery).
My only suggestion is to get away from home. You are old enough to leave, legally, so work on a way to do so. If you need help with it, ask us.

I feel for you having been following your other posts. It's a difficult time of transition, adjustments, and decisions. I think your families behavior is a rather cruel way to show love and support because of your temporary setbacks, but that's them, so forgive their IGNORANCE at not know what you need, or not being capable of giving it. Then maybe you can forgive yourself, regroup, and rethink and retry your testing.

Please consider alternatives that can help you in the meantime, like a temporary summer job, or maybe a year at a community college, and a transfer later to the university of your choice. A realistic Plan B that you work while you work at making plan A happen. Working and taking classes that are useful for later is a great way to prepare for life, AND get you out the house and around more positive people. You may make some friends along the way that bolsters your confidence, and opens doors to more options, and opportunities that you may not be aware of.

Let your self motivation work for you as you think of YOUR plan B. Never know, it may be better than plan A, or be just the stepping stone you need. Sure beats hearing them blather about you being a failure. Bottom line is keep working for what you want and know there is more than one way to accomplish your goals, and prove all the haters wrong.

There is great pride in accomplishment, but some time you have to take smaller steps, or even repeat a few steps to make progress. Stay with it, and keep your eyes on the prize and NOT the obstacles.

I did fail at some point, and yes that what I'm going to do.

Thank you all, that's really helpful!

Everyone fails from time to time ( don't think that some people never fail)... what separates losers from winners is how they handle a failure. Losers dwell over that failure and give up, winners pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try something different until they succeed.

I used to get this a lot. My dad used to call me a 'lazy b*tch' and worse, every time he saw me sitting. My brother used to bash me and tell me I have no friends(which was truth at the time because we live in the middle of no where). Just ignore the negative and think of the positive in life. Work towards your goals, live your life how you want to live it.
There is no reason why you need to impress others.

I know that, but it's not easy at all to fail multiple times and then feel so weak... My dad understands my situation, he talked to me yesterday and told me how much he faced difficulties to reach what he has reached today, I got so inspired by his words, but I'm still lost, I know where I can begin my journey but I'm so scared that I won't achieve my goals. I have anxiety and depression which I think are enough to make me fail more and more.
But you know what I really do have to pick myself up, I have to ignore my depression and just keep moving on. Because if you want to succeed in life you have to put off a lot of things and focus on your goals. Thank you

Are you getting any medical help for your depression? That would be a good place to start. What subject in college were you thinking of? Do you have a profession in mind that you are interested in?

I know that, but it's not easy at all to fail multiple times and then feel so weak...

Failure is a chance to learn from your mistakes and do better. It's a chance to learn. Look back and see where you failed and improve. The good news is you tried, and the better news is how close you came to success. Relax, and take this opportunity to improve and do better. Why quit when you are almost where you want to be?


My dad understands my situation, he talked to me yesterday and told me how much he faced difficulties to reach what he has reached today,

Your dad is right, keep your eyes on the prize, your goals, and work through the obstacles. The key word is keep WORKING.


I got so inspired by his words, but I'm still lost, I know where I can begin my journey but I'm so scared that I won't achieve my goals.

Fear is an obstacle to overcome by having COURAGE to keep trying, keep working. You have already won half the battle, you know where to start your journey. Don't let your fear confuse you.


I have anxiety and depression which I think are enough to make me fail more and more.

No matter how many times you fail, when you keep trying you get so much closer to success, and remember you didn't fail the last time by much, 5%, just a question or two. Now you know where to improve on.


But you know what I really do have to pick myself up, I have to ignore my depression and just keep moving on. Because if you want to succeed in life you have to put off a lot of things and focus on your goals. Thank you

Good for you. Its obvious you are still WILLING to work harder, and try harder. That's a winning attitude and its only a matter of time before your efforts are rewarded with success in reaching your goals. Thats NOT fear or confusion, its deep DETERMINATION. The main ingredient for success.

LOL, you have already succeeded, you just don't feel it yet. Just think of the ones that quit on themselves and don't try. They can never succeed. You got it going on, so don't be afraid to keep it going on. As long as you never quit on yourself, you can never fail yourself. Eventually you will FEEL successful. :)

Nobody likes to fail, its always a kick in the gut when you fail... thats true for everyone. Winners dig deeper inside for that inner strength to pick themselves up, and keep pushing on. Also view every failure as an learning opportunity. If you failed its because you did something wrong, study it, figure out what you did wrong and work to never make that mistake a second time... THats how everyone learns. Not every possible failure can be taught by another, many of them you have to learn for yourself because not every situation is identical. Trust me when I say we have all had made some whoppers of mistakes and had to learn from them.