If I have been paying child support but it has been cash to the bm, can the state ask for arrears even though she is not asking for them and told them I have been paying?

It is possible. It could happen in atleast 2 ways. If the suport you were paying is considered a gift then none of it will be counted as support. The other end is that if you paid less then the full amount then you could possibly be liable for the remaining balance as arrears.


Is she/he on State aide?

If the birth mother applies for public assistance, the state will want to mitigate the amount it pays. Therefore they will go after the father to help support the child. Anything you have paid, especially cash (since you have no proof) will probably not be counted.

The problem is, if you paid cash, you probably have no proof. I don't suppose you got receipts? If not, and especially if you cannot get a statement from her admitting the amounts you paid, you are probably out of luck.

However in many places retroactive child support is not allowed. They can only ask for child support since the time the began the action for child support.