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View Full Version : My best friend is going to leave me alone at school?


koalabearr232
Jun 22, 2014, 10:35 AM
I've been friends with her for 5 years now and it was always me and her, we were never the popular kids. We are what you'd call "the outsiders" because we never fit in with anyone in our class. There are 4 different groups. One is the popular kids group, the second one is the semi-popular group meaning they do talk to the popular kids and laugh and all but don't hang out with them all the time and then you have me and my friend, the unpopular group. Oh and the last one is the boys so yeah.

But just 2 years ago a new kid came and we became her friend and ever since then us 3 were the best of friends, we were all happy and made jokes and it was really fun. But just about 4 months ago, the people from the semi-popular group, apparently they texted her and asked her to hang out with them and they only wanted her and not me and my friend only because she came to the school 2 years ago and had been stuck with us so they want her to know more people and didn't want us since we don't get along with them and never did. As I said, we never fit in with anyone in the class. So for those months I've been stuck with just my best friend and I really miss the newer friend a lot but she hangs out with different people. She still talks to us when anyone from the semi popular group aren't there but as soon as they are here she goes straight to them as if she doesn't want them to see her with us.

So yeah now you see what is going on at school. Now here comes my question. Everything stated before is just to let you know what is going on. Since me an my best friend don't have many friends in class and are always left out my best friend asked her mom if she could stay home for the entire last week of school and her mom said yes and now she is going to stay home while I'm going to be alone for the last week of school and I'm going to be seen walking around as a loner, I don't have anyone to sit with at lunch I really don't want to go to school either but I have to, 1. Because my parents will be at work and there is no one to look after me and 2. Because it is school and my parents are still making me go. But yeah my best friend actually hurt my feelings because she rather leave me alone for 5 days than coming to school and facing the class that ignore us.

I asked the newer friend if I could just hang out with her and she said "maybe" = the nice way of saying no and she said because she might be with someone else. Now I really don't want to go to school I'm having major panic attacks I'm really scared I don't want to be seen eating lunch alone or during breaks I don't want to be seen hanging out with just myself, that is humiliating and over the top embarrassing because you are classified as being a loner. But I don't want to hang out with the popular kids! All they talk about is social media, especially instagram, the all bring their phones to school and go on them during breaks, I don't I don't even have a phone and most importantly they all take drugs and alcohol and I don't want to hang out with people like that. So now you can see how alone I'm going to be. I'm SCARED to go to school. More than just scared. I'm having a bit of anxiety and fear of being seen alone.

Jake2008
Jun 22, 2014, 11:42 AM
It is important to know how old you are, and what grade you are in. Thanks.

koalabearr232
Jun 22, 2014, 11:57 AM
I'm in 8th grade at the moment

Jake2008
Jun 22, 2014, 01:08 PM
It's sad that these social groups, define people the way they do.

High school will be different; you'll meet a lot of new people, join new clubs, and hopefully things will not be so defined as to put people in categories.

In the not too distant future, you will be on the other side of that dividing line, and it will be you that realizes that drugs and alcohol are for losers. You will have already passed the hurdle of respect among other people who will agree with you, and it will be the 'A' list people from grade school, who will be at the bottom of the totem pole.

For that last little bit of school, I advise you to go. While it may be uncomfortable, and you're upset about it, it is up to you to overcome adversity. There will be many situations in life where you have to do things you just don't want to do; think of it as a test. See if you can't get through that last week without anybody else, and walk out that door with your head held high.

For the breaks during the day, go outside if you can, and eat your lunch under a tree. If you have spare periods during the day, hit the library. Put the day into chunks to make it easier. By that I mean, the first chunk is going to school. The next chunk is getting through until lunch. The next chunk is getting through to a break, and then the end run, which is finishing up the day. Then repeat each day the same way, and then the week is done, and so is grade 8. Keep focused on what is ahead of you- i.e. math class, science class, lunch, etc. and don't let anything in that will break your focus. Stay the course, keep the days simple and organized.

Once you make your mind up not to hide from what you have to face, and instead face it, and then get through it, you will have passed with flying colours, and a boost to your confidence. You will also learn that leaning on another person to get you through the day, isn't a long term thing. Friends come and go at your age. The more independent you are, the better you will be able to manage.

Good luck.

koalabearr232
Jun 22, 2014, 01:16 PM
Thanks for the advise I'm definetely going to try to put it in chunks the problem is I can't eat lunch under a tree because we don't eat lunch outside we eat inside, then we go outside. And also the library is never open during breaks because the libarian is somewhere else meaning we are unsupervised.

Alsom graduation day is coming up, we have the ceremony and then the graduation party for 3 hours, my best friend isn't going to that either and I have to and I looked at my classmates Facebook and instagram and they were all talking about taking pictures together and doing all sorts of stuff, I'm definetely not part of it but I do want to hang out with my friend -- the one that left me to hang out with other people but I don't know if she will. Otherwise it will be 3 hours of boredom.

Jake2008
Jun 22, 2014, 03:41 PM
You will have to improvise with any free time. Keep busy with something- anything to pass the time.

It's sad that you are left out like that. The three hour grad party may very well be a boring event. I remember having to go to Christmas parties with my husbands work mates, and their wives. It was the same thing. He always had people to talk to, because all the men shared the same trade, but I was left out, not knowing any of the other women. We moved a lot- 13 times in all, so most of these parties involved all new people, and it was very boring.

But, I liked the night out, and enjoyed the food, but I've never forgotten feeling so left out. What would it have taken for them to just talk to me. And that was grown women. So, there will likely always be these groups within groups. The workplace likely will see that kind of thing for you eventually too.

All you can do is take the good and forget the bad. Years from now you will be proud of yourself for not bailing out yourself, and missing your own grad and grad party- even if you had to celebrate it with people you'd rather not celebrate with. The accomplishment will be what counts in the end.

Good luck!