I am 54 and my wife is 50, married for 17 years with two boys 13y and 9y. This is an arranged marriage and there is no much love to begin with. We are growing apart. Our best family friends Sam (48) jenny (47) and 3 children 13, 11 & 7 are very close to me, y wife ad children. We meet twice a week, go ad dine out and play ball games and cook together. I am o very attracted to Jenny while she is the best friend of my wife and Sam is my best friend and I have earned a lot of respect and closeness with their children. I have more in common with Jenny in the way we think and enjoy. I am very close to her in heart and I call her on the phone daily and not even a single moment goes without thinking of her. I am fantasizing being with her. This is despite Sam having so much of trust on me. While I do not want to be away from Jenny, If his becomes public it will hurt deeply my wife, Sam and traumatize all 5 children. What should I do now to solve this. I will go mad without Jenny.

Subak

Suck it up and leave her alone. You have more to fear that traumatize all 5 children... Sam might send you to neet your maker for messing around with his wife. And he might do the same with Jenny. Assuming your wife doesn't do it first. Something that is very common in parts of the world where you find arrainged marriages most often.

IF your life sucks so much... divorce your current wife and find a woman who isn't taken. Sneaking around is the cowards way out... and rarely in life can you have everything you want without there being a price to pay.

We have a saying here in my part of the world, several in fact that apply here.

First... The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. (meaning something you don't have always seems better until you actually get it, and find out it isn't_

Second... Be careful of what you wish for, you might get it. (meaning that thing you were dreaming for... might turn out to be a nightmare, and you will be stuck with it)

"I will go mad without Jenny." Really? Drama must be your middle name.

I totally agree with Smoothy. Have you reversed roles with your 9 year old because you are certainly sounding like one.

Hello friend,As You have described, Sam and jenny are best friend of you and your wife, they are very close, even it seems that their children also very dear to you. You both family has developed a sense of happiness and respect for each other. I understand it's a tough situation you are going through. But before taking any decision you can give a thought to these following things which can help you to take sound decision, so here it is-- first of all, is Jenny also have same feelings for you as you have for her. Or its just that's she loves you in a same way as she loves your wife and children, out of respect, affection and a friendship bond.- I understand that now in your marriage that love is missing what you had before but just think about it that, what if between sam and jenny its not the case, in fact they both have sometimes little disagreements but they really love each other and want to be together, even though they don't show openly in front of others.- lets think the other way, in case she also feels same for you, are you guys willing to choose this relationship above your spouse, family and children? I understand! You know, sometimes there are people, who can understand us better then others, they like what we like, they think what we think, there can be 100 similarities, but there can be more then one person who have same interest as you. In this phase of life when everything seems dead, you suddenly feel alive in the presence of those people who understand and have common interest as you. Its normal, but we cannot take decision by our feelings.Its absolutely normal when the sparkling and tingling love fades from ones marital life, living with same person for very long time, having differences in personality, taste, thinking, etc etc. Even the physical body appearance changes through every stage of life, there are many more couples who go through this even in love marriages.But here after coming so far together, Its not worth giving up. For that I can suggest you few things like, I think you should openly and without shame talk to your wife, tell her what you need whether its emotional or sexual need, just say it and tell her to do the same, have open conversation about what you guys feel each other, forgive each other, first you start with yourselves, but let her know also, try to spend time alone together, no family around, no kids, not even "best friends". Just alone you and your wife. We always fantasize our marriage or love story as they show in a movie or cartoons, where two perfect people meet, then they live happily ever after. But come on, those are just movies, in fact if you see even the life of very actors or actress who did that role of perfect couple in the movies, their own real personal life is like a roller coaster, because its not a real world. In real world there is no short cut for happy marriage life, both party have to work it out together. The things which are worth ignoring, just ignore it. And the thing you can't just communicate with her, its like if you want to be treated good, you also treat her good. Do to other what you what them to do with you. Try to recall what you both use to do when you first met, it can be going out together, giving gifts etc etc, whatever that made you both to accept each other, fall in love and to have two beautiful children. Do same things, don't let that passion die. In marriage nothing happens magically we ought to work towards it everyday to achieve what we want.Its just a matter of making it alive and work and enjoy its fruits later, and escape from all the guilt, family pain, break up, divorce, and those heart breaking and family destroying moments. Live your life with the one you committed, communicate, tell her what you need ask her what she need, even if you do little things that matter. And see two family growing up happily together, helping each other in their hard times, laughing and supporting together."Happily ever after happens, but we have to work it and keep progressing in that work."I hope you feel better. If there is any more question feel free to ask me.Thanks,Precious.