This is my first healthy pregnancy. I didn't start smoking until after my molar pregnancy, and I didn't start drinking excessively until about a year ago. On my ultrasound everything is exactly how it should be and I don't want to ruin it by the urges I have to smoke a cigarette and have a glass (or two) of wine. I don't want to have patches, or chew gum to make me quit smoking because that one is not as bad as my drinking habit.

What is your question?

What can I do about my drinking habits?

For the health and safety of your unborn baby you simply stop drinking. Don't have it in the house and avoid situations where you know you will drink.

For the health and safety of your unborn baby you simply stop drinking. Don't have it in the house and avoid situations where you know you will drink.
Thanks. Not exactly was I was looking for but I appreciate your professional opinion.

What were you looking for?

Okay, tough love here. Your baby will be born addicted. You are destroying the baby's brain and it could be born with physical, mental and developmental delays. Some permanent and irreversible.

It it is imperative that you discuss your addiction with your OB. Should your addiction continue through the pregnancy, the nursery staff will need to know so that they can take the proper measures to assist your baby through the withdrawal process as painlessly as possible.

What were you looking for?

Okay, tough love here. Your baby will be born addicted. You are destroying the baby's brain and it could be born with physical, mental and developmental delays. Some permanent and irreversible.

It it is imperative that you discuss your addiction with your OB. Should your addiction continue through the pregnancy, the nursery staff will need to know so that they can take the proper measures to assist your baby through the withdrawal process as painlessly as possible.
I haven't drank or smoked since I found out I was pregnant, three months ago, it's the urges, the physical irritability I have a my child for preventing me from doing what I like.

Good job! This is a battle, and will be for the rest of your life. You can't start again once baby is born.

I'm willing to help you, but I just don't know what you want from me.

As an OB nurse, I have less concern about the smoking than I do the drinking.

Good job! This is a battle, and will be for the rest of your life. You can't start again once baby is born.

I'm willing to help you, but I just don't know what you want from me.

As an OB nurse, I have less concern about the smoking than I do the drinking.
I believe just talking it out with someone other than my husband is more beneficial for me.

I believe just talking it out with someone other than my husband is more beneficial for me.

And that's okay. Have you considered joining AA? Is your husband an alcoholic as well?

And that's okay. Have you considered joining AA? Is your husband an alcoholic as well?
He's a clean as a whistle. As far as AA I haven't looked into it because it's embarrassing.

I understand your fears, however AA is anonymous.

Before we we go any further, how much did you drink a day and what was your beverage of choice?

I understand your fears, however AA is anonymous.

Before we we go any further, how much did you drink a day and what was your beverage of choice?
Before I'd drink about three glasses of wine a day of any sort of Arbor Mist and a bottle or two of apple ale, I'd drink with my meals.

Can you make sure there is none in your house? No way to drink it if it isn't there.

Can you make sure there is none in your house? No way to drink it if it isn't there.
I can but seeing as how I do the grocery shopping it's always tempting to buy.

Would you give your baby alcohol in his/her bottle? Think of that each time you are tempted.

Would you give your baby alcohol in his/her bottle? Think of that each time you are tempted.
Most of the time I think about the fact that I want to be a breast feeding mother and I know that what's in my body is and will be in the child's body.

Keep thinking that way. You are on the right track!

You really are stronger than you think you are.

An addict is still an addict, pregnant or not and alcoholism is a disease that effects the logic of your thinking... you tell yourself you shouldn't, you tell yourself you won't, you KNOW why you shouldn't, and yet the cravings are still there... alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful... not to mention patient. I used to think that it was just a matter of will power... but, alas, that is not the case for an addict. I'm speaking from personal experience, not lecturing. This was me and my experience. I didn't know what AA was about, and no interest in finding out.

I know it seems embarrassing, but AA is anonymous and it is a group to which no one wants to be a member of, but 1) Everyone there is where you have been in not wanting to go - happy, healthy people do not go to AA meetings for the fun of it - alcoholics go to get and stay sober/recover and 2) It can be very, very powerful and supportive and help with a new way of thinking, a way remove the power that alcohol does have over you... that you may believe is not even possible. Plus, you get to hear other peoples stories. Even if you just go and listen. There is much to learn in AA, above all, that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

There are plenty of "Open" AA meetings, where anyone, ANYONE at all... is welcomed and you don't have to be an alcoholic, just curious as to what all the hype is about or what type of voodoo rituals they perform (kidding here).

All I can say, is IT CANNOT HURT to give it a try. At the very least, call a local Inter-group in your area and talk to someone... no one is judging anyone. There are new people, there are people that have been sober, gone out and come back, old timers, people that have lost everything, people that have not lost it all yet, but hurt others and made life long choices we will forever regret... we have all our own stories... and share one commonality... we are alcoholic.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is forever, please, give AA a chance... try a few different meetings, bring along your husband or a friend for support. All that is required for "membership" is the desire to stop drinking... even if it just for now, just for today, just for your baby.

Best of luck, sounds like your heart is in the right place... AA offers hope above all else...