So my girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year, and we are very much in love.

We met and became very good friends for over half a year before I finally kissed her one night. We found out later that we had both had a crush on each other since the time we met.

A week after we kissed, we went on our first date, it went very well. A week after that, she went to a club with her friends. Before she left, she came into my room and we kissed for a little bit and talked and then she said bye.

Fast forward another half a year, we have told each other we love each other and that we don't want to be with anyone else. One night, before she is leaving for another country for several months, she tells me that when she went to the club that night she grinded with a guy.

She said he was following her and her friends around all night, asking her to dance, and she said no initially. But eventually her friends told her just to do it so he would leave them alone. So she says yes, and they start grinding and he makes her uncomfortable by the way he is dancing with her. So she gets one of her friends to pull her away, and starts dancing alone. Except he hangs around, and eventually comes up behind her and starts grinding on her from the back. Then he flips her around and they keep dancing. And then he kisses her. She didn't see it coming, she didn't kiss him back and she ran away.

This upset me greatly. Even though we were just dating, she said when we were arguing about this later that from the time we first kissed, she knew we were exclusive. She also said that at that point, she wouldn't have liked me grinding on another girl, but she wouldn't have said anything because she would have thought that's just the way it goes (she was very new to dating, I was the second guy she had ever kissed in her life, first one she had ever been on a date with). She also said that she didn't know it would upset me, but the fact that she wouldn't have liked it if I did it with someone else makes me think she should have at least considered my feelings. But I'm also saying this with the perspective of her telling her she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me, instead of the perspective that I had at the time that she grinded with that guy.

I have trouble sleeping at night sometimes, its hard to focus during the day. I said some hurtful things to her when we were arguing about it, and we both decided it was best that I deal with this on my own.

I think some of the problems come from the fact that she is in a foreign country, I haven't seen her for several months. We talk every day, but obviously, that is not the same as being in person.

Any advice at all is welcome

How can you be "going out for over a year" if she's in a foreign country?

How old are you both? It sounds like you are both 14 or 15.

Long distance relationships never work... and people that cling to them are people that can't find someone local that's actually available.

Give up on it and find a girl that's not going overseas for months at a time.

We had been dating for 9 months before she left. She is studying abroad and we decided that we would make it work since she will be there for 5 months, and then we plan to be together for a very long time after that. I am going to visit her there in a month.

We're both in college.

I disagree with you, but you are entitled to your opinion.

If it were me then I would not appreciate the fact that she was grinding on someone else.

Having said that what do you expect to gain by constantly bringing it up. You have said your peace now let it go and move on. If you can't do that being in a relationship with you will appear to be too much drama and she may decide the drama isn't worth it.

She said he was following her and her friends around all night, asking her to dance, and she said no initially. But eventually her friends told her just to do it so he would leave them alone. So she says yes, and they start grinding and he makes her uncomfortable by the way he is dancing with her. So she gets one of her friends to pull her away, and starts dancing alone. Except he hangs around, and eventually comes up behind her and starts grinding on her from the back. Then he flips her around and they keep dancing. And then he kisses her. She didn't see it coming, she didn't kiss him back and she ran away.

This upset me greatly.

Let it go, its no big deal, NOR her fault in any way! The problem is you dwelling on this and her not being there. Two different things that have to be dealt with separately on their own merits.

Anybody would be upset at one event, but most of us guys wouldn't be so carried away by them where it affects our faith and trust, nor blame our partner to the point we would fear it would happen again. My gosh guy, give your girl the benefit of a doubt that she learned and will handle herself better. Now go get some sleep and relax and get through this separation and LEARN yourself from this about coping with YOUR OWN FEELINGS in better more positive ways. Its you, NOT her.

You said it yourself, she has had little experience in the way of dating and being around guys. This jerk took advantage, and she likely felt awkward at the time about speaking up more. Now she knows better. I give her credit for telling you about it. Now, IF she were to share a similar story at this point in the relationship, then I would question it.

Long distance relationships can be a challenge. It is good that you talk daily and are able to share things with each other, even things that have the potential to upset the other person. As you said, all you have is talking... consider this an excellent opportunity to work on your communication skills, sharing thoughts and feelings, and learning more about each other.

If she were cheating she would not have told you.
Get over it. You keep throwing it in her face, she may get tired of it and leave you.

She was dancing, that is it, no it is not cheating, esp if you were only dating for a week, and most likely had no real commitment at that point anyway.

I wail say, that I do agree, almost no long distance relationship works. I hope your does.

Howdy I can just imagine what you'd be thinking I know I would to if that was my partner and he done that. Regardless she should have not grinded on another guy no matter what her friends say, if she was smart about it she would have grabbed her friends and left and went else where not caved in to having to sexual dance with another guy because "maybe" he might leave us alone. Surely she can't be that naïve when it comes to life of course the other guy would kiss her he thought he was getting lucky tonight. Her biggest mistake was not leaving the club straight away when they were all been followed if that was happening to me and my friends I'd be long gone, unless she was loving the attention of the guy?
Unless you get CCTV footage you have to believe what she says. But me being a female and respecting my partner I would have left the first moment I knew this guy is trying to get at something... good luck and I hope it works out but don't be afraid to say how you feel communication is the key