We are in VA and I just found out that my husband's 7 year old's mother has not been using a booster seat for him since he was 5 years old. I believe the law in VA is that the child has to be at least 8 years old before they can go without a booster. What can we do to make sure she follows the law or is punished for it so that we can keep our child safe? My husband has custody, but she will have him for half the summer and we are very nervous that he has not had appropriate safety measures taken. She refuses to listen to any reason and doesn't care if we ask her to use a seat. Help?

Booster seat requirements usually go by age, weight, or height.

Does she have a booster seat? Can she afford one? Do you make one available to her when she picks up the child?

Is this law enforceable? If so, call the police and report her.

http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/ofhs/prevention/cps/laws.htm

In VA it's based solely on age which is 8 years old. We do offer our seat, she declines. I don't know if it's enforceable, but I do know there's a $50 fine for first time and $500 for second offense. I don't know what happens after that. She most definitely can afford a booster considering you can buy one at walmart for $10-40, and she just bought him a tablet for his birthday.

Virginia's Child Passenger Safety Laws (http://www.vdh.virginia.gov/ofhs/prevention/cps/laws.htm)

In VA it's based solely on age which is 8 years old. We do offer our seat, she declines. I don't know if it's enforceable, but I do know there's a $50 fine for first time and $500 for second offense. I don't know what happens after that. She most definitely can afford a booster considering you can buy one at walmart for $10-40, and she just bought him a tablet for his birthday.

If there's a fine for not following the law, report her as soon as she leaves your property without the child in a proper booster seat.

Obviously she's not listening to your concerns, and won't. So get the law involved. Maybe after a few charges she'll comply to the law.

If I report her then, how will I know where to direct them? They could take any road from our house, and could even be going somewhere other than her house.

Sorry I'm not trying to be difficult, I am just concerned for our child and upset that it's gone this long without us knowing.

You don't allow her to leave unless he is buckled into the booster seat properly. If she won't comply with the law and your wishes, he does not go with her.

You know, I understand all the booster seat laws, but looking back when I was a child, there was not even seat belts, children lived, and there was little harm to most of it.

Is this really concern over the child, or issues with the child's mother.

If the child's father is that serious about it, he should not allow child to leave the home, unless in proper seat.

Fr Chuck,

You are right..... seatbelt use and certainly car seat/booster seat use, were not the norm, but there is no question that injury and death related to car accidents for children have dropped substantially because of them. Accidents are still the number one killer of young children. Unfortunately many car seats and booster seats are not used correctly or used at all as in this situation.

I agree most definitely... dad has custody, child doesn't go without proper restraint. Buy one for the mothers car if need be. Think of it as buying it for the child and not the mother, if that helps, which it is anyway. Since the child is seven, make sure that he knows how to use it himself and teach him the importance of always using it. You can't control what the mother does once she is gone, but you can teach the child, and hopefully that will be enough.

When does the child turn 8?

I am trying to figure out how nothing has been said for two years. The father hasn't watched her put the child in the car before this? Is the father the one pressing this or are you?

While I believe in child safety and following laws, I do question your motivation and timing in this. Is she still attempting to get joint custody (previous question)? It is the "or punished for it" that makes this seem more personal than about the child's safety.

If the father is concerned about the child's safety, he contacts his lawyer to find out what he can legally do to keep the child safe. He documents her lack of child restraint devices and possibly goes back to court.