Feel free to add to this list.


1. Volunteer
2. Take a class in something you're interested in
3. Learn a foreign language
4. Read a book on the best seller chart
5. Take up a sport (with friends is best) like Bowling or Golf
6. Call old friends and family members
7. Play some video games
8. Watch some movies
9. Join a gym
10. Learn how to speed read (good software is rocket reader)
11. Learn how to cook
12. Get a library card
13. Start a new savings account and make a bet with yourself on how much you can save
14. Take on a new project at work
15. Update your resume
16. Buy some new clothes
17. Buy that CD you've always wanted
18. Change the layout of your furniture
19. Go for walks
20. Answer questions on this website

Some great suggestions
Lets add to it

21. Make some plans for YOU for the near future
22. Book a holiday, everyone needs something to look farward to
23. Get closer to friends who have been on the 'fringe'
24. Go swimming
25. Make a myspace site and fill it with photos of time before/after the ex. Pump yourself up on the site, 'self love'

Anymore suggestions?

26.) Make a list of all the bad things about the relationship when you are reflecting on the breakup. All too often, for the one left behind, he or she focuses too much on the good things.

27.) Write a letter to your ex but DON'T SEND IT>>Purely for your own healing.

28.) (Related to #21.) Set short term goals (run a marathon, or a mile if you've never run before, finish that book, save up six months' rent, get a 3.8 or higher GPA this semester, an A on the next exam, etc.) and concentrate your energy on achieving that goal.

It will not only distract you but you will feel sooo great and such a sense of accomplishment when you achieve it.

Number 1 for me would be to work out your part in why the breakup happened so that you do not repeat the same pattern in the future.

Also lets add take a day to pamper yourself, watch a movie, go out to lunch with friends, write in your diary, love yourself.

Just a day to pamper yourself!?
I've taken almost a year now lol ;-)

Have a thick, cold, chocolate milkshake.

Cry as much as you want, male or female, it's OK to, just don't wallow!

I guess this is where you guys left the list:

29) Travel to near beach on the weekend, rent a nice bugalo, surf all day, sleep all night.
30) Play tennis until the balls explode, then please re hydrate yourself!

LIVE FOR YOU!! Do those things that you couldn't do before. Enjoy life. Don't wallow in self pity or wonder "what if." Take the time to be YOU.

Go NO CONTACT!! Yes you know you want to. You do! Go on :)

One thing I did in my brakeup was to use it as an impetus to change my outlook on life. It certainly gave me a kick up the to do the things I allways wanted and instead of saying no so much say yes. This past year has been the most life changing experience as of yet! The worst and best :)

So treat yours as a kick up the to go and live life!

KICKBOXING!!

I started it within 2 days of my ex boyfriend splitting with me and it's the best thing I've ever done!

Buy a ps3 :)

Learn the salsa!

Turn on the Lifetime channel and search for happiness at the bottom of a carton of ice cream.

Cry... I've found crying to be the best of medicine for anything... so yea... just sit and cry... THEN GO AND PARTY WITH SOME FRIENDS AND HAVE SOME LAUGHS!! ^.^ always helps!!

Feel free to add to this list.


1. Volunteer
2. Take a class in something you're interested in
3. Learn a foreign language
4. Read a book on the best seller chart
5. Take up a sport (with friends is best) like Bowling or Golf
6. Call old friends and family members
7. Play some video games
8. Watch some movies
9. Join a gym
10. Learn how to speed read (good software is rocket reader)
11. Learn how to cook
12. Get a library card
13. Start a new savings account and make a bet with yourself on how much you can save
14. Take on a new project at work
15. Update your resume
16. Buy some new clothes
17. Buy that CD you've always wanted
18. Change the layout of your furniture
19. Go for walks
20. Answer questions on this website
The best thing I can say is to have fun. Life sometimes bring heartache, but it makes the happiness and joy in our lives so much greater! Have fun and enjoy yourself

I agree with you Kelly, it's good to get out and remember that you have a life. Go out, find something that makes you happy (that is a HEALTHY way do cope). Spend some cash on yourself, do something YOU want to do.

Have a picnic with yourself.
Get a punching bag, sticky tape your Ex's Face (ONLY IF THEY HURT YOU ENOUGH) and Thump it.

Oh another fun game me and my friends came up with!! (it doesn't matter if you're good at drawing or not) get some marker that you could put on a mirror and wipe off. Draw a pic of your ex on the mirror. Get a cup of water and some toilet paper and make paper wads. Dip them in the water and throw at the picture! This is a fun game that if done with friends can relieve stress, hurt, and even though you are throwing them at a drawing OF your ex it will make you not really think about them... unless you are like me and my friends and throw the wads at different areas and discuss how he/she would react if they got hit there. It's great fun!

Start working out, you not only are doing something to get her/him off your mind, but your getting into shape and healthy at the same time. Real ego/confidence boost.

Go to a pet store and hug a Dog:)

Jeez.. what I had to do was.. volunteer at a animal shelter and study my butt off in school... knowing I'm moving up higher and making my life better... oh and I wrote in my journal.. having a journal is a great way to write your feelings onto paper!

Yes.. it is.. I have been writing in my black and white notebook since I was 8. and I'm 21 now still writing away haha..

For me as a guy I never had a 'journal' id write poems or what not, but the first month post break up, I wrote everyday in a blue 100 page spiral till it was full. Now I just talk to people lol

I've been writing poems for 5 years (since I was 12) It really is very helpful and enjoyable. So you writing poetry helps a lot. Although... most of my poems turn out depressing >.<

29.)do something you hade never done before
30.) express your happiness on drawing, paitings etc. or listen to music
31.) do sometihng you've always wanted to do for a long time but this time have faith and believe this time you can do it!
32.) explore and see what life is like behind those walls which were blocking your way to the things oyu want to do.. in short.. HAVE FUN BUT ODNT RUIN IT BY adding sour to a sweet day :P

I think a puppy would pass the time well. A dogs love is unconditional, plus you may meet new people taking your dog out to the park. Another thing to do is join a gym. Getting yourself back in shape will rebuild your confidence and help put on back on the right track.

Feel free to add to this list.


1. Volunteer
2. Take a class in something you're interested in
3. Learn a foreign language
4. Read a book on the best seller chart
5. Take up a sport (with friends is best) like Bowling or Golf
6. Call old friends and family members
7. Play some video games
8. Watch some movies
9. Join a gym
10. Learn how to speed read (good software is rocket reader)
11. Learn how to cook
12. Get a library card
13. Start a new savings account and make a bet with yourself on how much you can save
14. Take on a new project at work
15. Update your resume
16. Buy some new clothes
17. Buy that CD you've always wanted
18. Change the layout of your furniture
19. Go for walks
20. Answer questions on this website
Take the long awaited holiday the place you have always wanted to go to and enjoy meeting new people and seeing things you would never have seen because the other half.

Travel somewhere where you do not know anyone at all and just enjoy yourself. Take up a class at a community college like cooking, art, etc. Meet new people and new friends.

First and foremost, focus on yourself, now is "Me Time". See where u could have improved your relationship and always be with one who is willing to work at the relationship as well a yourself. Never ever give your all to someone who can't return the love and the next time around it may work out better.

This is similar to what most people are saying about getting hobbies and doing new things... but maybe also become a fan of something that you enjoy.
Im a huge Cleveland Indians fan... I go to tons of games each summer and really get into following baseball. Im going through a break up now and I really hope that they can bring me out of my slump when the season starts next week.
I always really liked the one quote from the movie Fever Pitch. I don't remember it word for word, but basically Jimmy Fallon's character is explaining how the Red Sox never let you down. They're always there to play, every day at the same time. If it rains, they make it up to you. They can't leave you or divorce you.

I just wrote a loving goodbye letter to ex (that of course I'll never ever send anywhere). God, its amazing how good it feels to just get that all out. I highly recommend! It feels so much better to be down the loving happy thoughts rather than focusing on the pain and anger.

Rearrange your furniture or change the artwork on your walls. It will help you set up a space that is not imbedded with memories and you can find a way to make your place feel new and yours again... I've been having trouble coming back to my room, and trouble sleeping missing him beside me, so it helped somewhat to make my space clean and new again.

I know you're supposed to throw away all the photos, but I just found looking at an unflattering photo of him a bit therapeutic.

Have fun, listen to music.

Have fun, listen to music.

I agree. For me, music is one of the most powerful tools to help change my mood. With the right music, I can put myself into just about any mood I want - though I guess I'm a little more into than most. Playing the guitar (or any instrument I imagine) is another great way to become totally consumed by something for a few hours... it really passes the time..

A word of caution however: The wrong music can tear you apart, so be careful what you listen to :)

Yeah, god the "wrong music" can really screw things up. I never realized how almost every song on the radio seems to be about broken hearts. In my 30 years on this earth, I never quite understood them. Now, unfortunately, I do. Well, I guess everyone needs to get their heart broken at least once (or twice by the same person in my case). ; )

I've been wallowing for some time. So tired of it. Thanks for the advice.

I found just changing my daily routine helps too. Even simple things that sound silly, like taking different roads to work. Going to different stores, and doing things in a different order during the day. I can help break the monotony which used to include that certain someone and help you to feel more changes than the one you are focused on. Lots of little changes helped to get me excited about changing my entire life.

The frist thing I did was BURN ALL OF HIS STUFF THAT I HAD. Pictures, and some clothes. It helped out a lot

Vodka and a night of watching Friends

I've been getting into Sex and the City, that's a good show to watch too.

Lots of ways there to meet a new friend, possible b/g friend. Very nice. I will have to try those out myself if my ex doesn't take me back :).

Get a journal and write about your experience. This is a therapeutic way of dealing with the break up.
Go out with friends. Don't stay in and mope around
Get a personal trainer who can motivate you
Go to a motivational seminar

Sit at the creek and clear your thoughts or take a nice road trip.

Exercise is a really, really good stress releaser in my opinion.

I've also been thinking about learning to play the guitar. I've always wanted to and since I'm currently going through an awful breakup, would be nice to try something totally new!

Go for it man, great way to keep busy. Warning though, it is frustrating in the beginning, but totally worth it.

I know I am certainly prepared! I've been playing golf all my life and I am STILL learning! :p

So if I have the patience for that I think I'll be fine with this!

My good friend has played the guitar his whole life and agreed to teach me so Im excited!

After my break-up a few years ago, I turned to running. I had always loved to run, but somehow slipped out of the routine over time. Just the fact that I was outside doing something good for MYSELF helped my mind wander to other things besides my ex. Being cooped up inside is no way to make yourself feel better.. find a nice day and enjoy the sun. :) Life is full of surprises and you'll eventually find happiness again, even though that may feel impossible at the time.

What I do is... Sleep for a week straight, cry if and when I need to, and then trash or give away every single item that was bought with that person - given to me by that person - or strongly reminds me of that person. That part is a process for me though, I can never seem to bring myself to toss everything in one go so it usually takes three or four days and then I sleep for a few more days and then I re-arrange my room completely(already said but a great tip) and then sleep some more. When I'm upset I tend to really focus on nice long baths, have my hair cut differently, or otherwise pamper myself. The most important thing is just to take time for pampering and adjustment.

I don't think this has been said but training animals - especially clickertraining dogs is pretty neat after my last breakup I taught my dog to retrieve my shoes(well, he taught himself sort of I just rewarded it) and to touch his chin to anything I said and to go around and smack things with his foot from different positions and we learned a new game called "find the cookie" where he sit/stays and I go hide small treats and piles of food in a room and then release him from the sit stay and he's got to find all of the treats with nothing but his nose and my pointing from the entrance of the room, it's a great game and it can get pretty wild. And we tore up all the letters and cards from my ex together, he clamps his teeth on it and then we both pull until whatever it is is in little tiny shreds - I call it "stress relief".

It's going to be rough for awhile. It's normal and human.
The best thing to do is always keep your mind busy.
Try to stay positive. Don't look at pictures of your ex... You know the saying
"Out of sight, out of mind".

Throw a party... and make sure to invite cute and single boys/girls :D

Try arts and crafts... it will keep you busy and you'll have a masterpiece to be proud of!

Write a song... you can calmly express your feelings, rather than creating hate mail.

Focus on your friends... they can help heal you and you'll soon be busy having fun.

Make a scrapbook... not of you and your ex, but of your family and friends.

Escape on a vacation... the sand and sun will relax you and give you some time to think.

Feel free to add to this list.


1. Volunteer
2. Take a class in something you're interested in
3. Learn a foreign language
4. Read a book on the best seller chart
5. Take up a sport (with friends is best) like Bowling or Golf
6. Call old friends and family members
7. Play some video games
8. Watch some movies
9. Join a gym
10. Learn how to speed read (good software is rocket reader)
11. Learn how to cook
12. Get a library card
13. Start a new savings account and make a bet with yourself on how much you can save
14. Take on a new project at work
15. Update your resume
16. Buy some new clothes
17. Buy that CD you've always wanted
18. Change the layout of your furniture
19. Go for walks
20. Answer questions on this website
Do the things you used to enjoy.find yourself again.

Join a kickboxin class. Not only you will learn how to kick someone`s butt really bad, work on your muscles, and plan revange if a guy is the reason you and your girl broke up lol, but it will also get all the strees out your head and heal the wound in your hearth faster!! (Thats what I did and trust me the guy part is the one you`ll enjoy the most)

This all sounds like very good advice to me. This can be a very hard time so take time to love yourself.

I don't know how many numbers there are so I'm going to start @ 1
1: be happy being single! Now you can sit with the girls and watch guys on bondi :D
2: eat chocolate!
3: buy clothes
4: make a group of friends and make up a funny looking dance routine
5: watch funny vids on YouTube
6: run around the house with friends and squirt them!
7: scream/sing out your favorite song with friends
Laugh with friends/family and you'll be out of those ' I miss him ' thoughts

#8. you don't have to shave your legs everyday.

#8. you don't have to shave your legs everyday.

9. You don't have to keep a daily watch on the pimples, mono brow and moustache

Play chess, I swear it works. If you can't play it, learn it, and then try and beat your dad or older brother. I think it's a centuries old father/son legacy with chess. It really will make you feel so proud.

Do the things that you couldn't do in the relationship ex. My ex hated to go out while it was raining, I went for a mile run while it was pouring down huge rain drops. I have never felt so good!! Sure I got a cold but it was worth it!!

Eat a pint of ice cream make sure to have all the toppings

- Get a haircut. I love getting a haircut when I'm stressed out. Cutting your own hair can be pretty fun too (If you know what you're doing, and not just attacking yourself with scissors).

- Learn something new. I've decided to learn a new language. :)

- Chill out with some tea and a warm blanket.

Conquer a fear. It will definitely make you feel like you can do anything.

Write a song.
Learn too play something
Go too a party with some friends.
Have a sleep over.

29) Find ways, people, places to laugh.
30) Take ballroom dancing, but don't take it too seriously. Movement is life!

Just try to be more outgoing with yourself and if you have little money, the cheap thing is be with people that make you laugh!!

Get a new haircut!

Go bungee jumping.. it will throw out your past and make you fresh for a new start!! :)

Being a hornist, I say play the Horn! Ha!

But seriously, music is an amazing outlet. I would say take up the guitar. It's a common instrument, relatively easy, relatively inexpensive, and there's a huge repertoire of music to choose from.

Just go for a drink

Listen to this song!! =P

YouTube - Mariah Carey - Hero [Lyrics] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVhrIfaPKxw)

I'm going to have to try to do all these things. Everyone's helped me so much, it's still hard but it's a lot better then being depressed.

Another suggestion would be to watch a movie with a different crowd. It was my friend, his dad and I. We watched Meet the Parents. Even though that's a love comedy, it helped a lot and how I feel like watching more movies just because it makes me feel better.

Make yourself a nice cup of tea
And write a nice list of all the reasons you were too good for him/her in the first place,or all the reasons your better off apart than together :)

Pat yourself that you won the game of being honest in a relationship and forgive other person couldn't be as great as you... lol
Join Landmark Education

Amazing... but one or two more...

-draw... work on art... express what your feeling into your art like paintings and just drawings and what of it...

-exersice... go outside and get active... you can't possibly think of it while you are running aorund or playinga and having fun... I dance when I'm down because of a break up becauswe I love dancing and it's a fun way to get in shape and keep your head clear:)

After a breakup, I recommend a good movie day with your best friend, get some alcopops in, a good old movie, and some hagen daaz belgian chocolate ice cream in :)

Alsooo, one thing that makes me feel better, is having a complete about the ex to a friend, just make sure this friend is a good trust worthy person, someone that will get involved with the ranting about him, trust me, the gigglinggg in your house won't seize, and honestly afterwards you'll realisee, if he's hurt you he's not worth it and your better off without him

X

Do whatever you want. You're free, now. So make the most of it. This gives you the opportunity to increase your skills in the dating game. So have fun. Oh and try a new 'makeover' as a way to transform your looks to suit your new single life? I did. Went from being the angelina jolie-style brunette with light skin, to blonde and tanned. Vamped up my wardrobe and made some great new friends too. Girls, of course.

Did anyone suggest that go for a long drive on a less traffic road and put you're the most dear music at full blast?

Another thing I realized to do is - pray to Lord Jesus to give strength to walk through this time and to bear this hurt. Prayer helps to ease the pains. Yet do not forget to thank HIM for the privilege you had to love someone, to care for soemone, to live for someone, to be loved by someone. Many people are there on this earth who do not get lucky to love or be loved by someone. Do you remember the hymn "What a Friend We have in Jesus"? There is a line in that song -

"Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

You can enjoy the midi of the song at
What a Friend We Have in Jesus (http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/w/a/f/wafwhij.htm)

I also suggest you start making yourself more available for other girls.
- Hang out on Friday nights at football games or the movie theaters
- sign up for a bunch of sites like myspace, Facebook, friendster, this site, Xat, chatango, etc. to make yourself more available online
- Figure out what you want to be when you grow older and then look into it
- Learn to breakdance (he he I'm a prime example of that)
- Learn what went wrong in the past relationship (both sides) and make sure you don't repeat or you avoid the past mistakes.

Go for a walk, no matter how down you are feeling, getting outside and walking and circulating your blood will always make you feel better.

If your religious go to church, great place for sorting your head out and putting things in perspective,

I really liked the suggestion of doing things you've always wanted to but never have. I'm going to write out a list and start doing them. At the top of my list are learning to sew and going on a contiki tour!

Also regarding the List of things to do after a breakup, I suggest:

- meditating
- getting your legs waxed at a salon
- going swimming (this is my favourite thing to do, it is so relaxing and revitalising at the same time). Or even just floating on your back is good.
- someone already suggested this, but I'll say it again, give yourself a make over; get a new haircut and wardrobe (or a few new outfits)
- get a massage (this is so relaxing and can tune you back into your body)

And for those that need to, go see a counselor for that extra bit of help.

Emotionally, the stress of a breakup may linger. Some important things to remember:


1.Stay active and try to maintain a balance of a healthy diet with equal amounts of sleep and exercise.


2.Try not to isolate yourself. Indulge in social activities with friends and family in order to keep your mind off your loss and to focus on moving on with your life.


3.Talking about the heartbreak can sometimes speed the recovery process. Many people seek out a therapist however talking to others going through similar situations can help.


4.Allow time to heal the wounds.

Hi All,

Im new to this site and before I go in to the guide I just wanted to say what a fantastic job everyone is doing, keep up the good work.

Im going to share with you a few things that have been helping me deal with my breakup, some of the techniques below may seem a little 'alternative' but please have an open mind and try them out as they can really help.


I have had a few significant and heart breaking breakups and am going through one at the moment, one constructive thing that I did get out of these is researching the psychological and physical effects and learning how to deal with them. I have studied cognitive behavioral therapy, Neuro Linguistic programming, meditation, hypnotherapy and all sorts of other techniques to help me deal with my breakups and I want to share the best techniques I have come across with you all as I really feel for anyone who is going through the same thing as me.

I have put in some links to books / audio books that I have found helpful, I don't make any money out of these links and they are just here as recommendations, just in case you were wondering.

I haven't mentioned the no contact rule below, there is enough information and discussion on here about it and it's really down to you if you want to follow it or not, but my opinion is that you should do no contact for at least a month if not more, it is incredibly difficult and I have broken this myself on more that one occasion.

Also please let me know any feedback on the below techniques.


Step 1 - Emergency treatment right after a breakup. Get your breathing sorted


When you break up with someone who meant a lot to you, you literally go in to shock and your body enters it's 'fight or flight' mode. You get anxious and panicky and have that awful knot in your stomach. One thing you probably don't realise that it also messes up your breathing, you start to shallow breathe which increases anxiety and panicky feelings and it's those feelings which contribute to you wanting to pick up the phone, email, text or someway get hold of your ex which we all know is not a good thing to do straight away.

You can read more here - Shallow breathing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shallow_breathing)


The good news is you can significantly decrease these feelings by getting your breathing sorted. Correct breathing will help relax your body and mind which is essential helping you deal with the first stages of a breakup.

Firstly you need to make time at least twice per day to do the techniques below, more if possible especially in the early days after a breakup.

Technique 1 - Breathing from the diaphragm

1. Lie on your back on a flat surface or in bed, with your knees bent and your head supported. You can use a pillow under your knees to support your legs. Place one hand on your upper chest and the other just below your rib cage. This will allow you to feel your diaphragm move as you breathe.
2. Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out against your hand. The hand on your chest should remain as still as possible.

3. Tighten your stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale through pursed lips The hand on your upper chest must remain as still as possible.

Technique 2 - The relaxing breath.

This technique was taken from the following audio book which I totall recommend -

Amazon.com: Breathing: The Master Key to Self Healing (The Self Healing Series) (9781564557261): Andrew Weil: Books (http://www.amazon.com/Breathing-Master-Key-Self-Healing/dp/156455726X)

This is a power technique which relaxes the body and mind, you should only do this for 4 breath cycles however.

1) Put your tongue so the tip is touching the top set of front teeth.
2) Practice breathing out through your mouth around your tongue so you are comfortable with this
3) You need to memorise this next bit before trying it,

Breath in through your nose to a count of 4
Hold the breath for a count of 7
Breath out around your tongue to a count of 8

Repeat 4 times ONLY.

After this, you should have a somewhat euphoric relaxed feeling, do this twice per day, I recommend first thing in the morning and last thing at night.



Step 2 - Calm the mind and stop obsessing

I suffer from this a lot, I can't stop thinking about my ex - what is she doing? who is she with? can I get her back? Do I want her back? The list is basically endless. However this kind of thinking is destructive and if your not careful can turn in to an obsession, this kind of thinking also holds you back and gives your ex a power over you even though they are not around and stops you getting on with even the most basic tasks.

So how do you stop thinking about your ex?

Well I'm afraid this isn't easy and it takes a lot of practice. Also you will have thoughts about your ex popping in to your mind from time to time, this is natural and you can't stop this, but what you can stop is getting caught up by it. With practice thoughts about your ex can float through your mind like a cloud across the sky, with no bad feelings and no need for you to get drawn in to it.


Technique 1 - meditate

For some of you this may sounds a bit freaky or weird, but please try it as it can really help calm you mind and stop those annoying arguments in your head. Also if you want to get your ex back or move on with your life you need to be in control of your mind and your emotions.

I recommend reading or listening to Pema Chodron if you are interested in learning more.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times: Amazon.co.uk: Pema Chodron: Books (http://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/0007183518)

Basic meditation technique

Again do this at least twice per day for at least 15 minutes, more if you are able. This meditation is very simple but also very difficult at the same time.

First get comfortable, and sit upright so your spine is straight. Next close your eyes and place your attention on your breath. You can notice your stomach going in and out or the air passing your nostrils, just try and hold you attention wherever you experience your breath.

Now for most of us, within a second or two a thought or an image or a sound will pop in to our mind, when you notice this happen try and return your full attention to your breath.

That is basically it, by doing this you are training your mind and your thoughts and not getting caught up in destructive images, conversations, arguments with your ex, the more you practice this the calmer you mind will become and thoughts of your ex will loose their grip over you.

Technique 2 - Use NLP to help eliminate jealously or bad thoughts about your ex.

This book helped a lot with this.

How to Mend Your Broken Heart: Amazon.co.uk: Paul McKenna, Hugh Willbourn: Books (http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Mend-Your-Broken-Heart/dp/0593050533/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272024166&sr=1-1)

This tip really helps if you keep getting hurtful images of your ex in you mind all the time and it upsets you.

The thing to do is notice the image in your head, is it a still image or is it a moving image?

Can you see yourself in the image? Or is the image through your own eyes?

If you can't see yourself in the image I want you to zoom out so you can, this will help disassociate yourself and make it feel like you are watching someone else in this situation and not yourself.

Next I want you to take all the colour out of the image so it is now black and white, notice how you feel.

Next put a big frame around the image and imagine it hanging on a wall.

Then move away form the image and the wall so that it is now just a dot in your mind.

Notice how you feel now, the intense feeling should have gone away and it should now be almost impossible to have the same image bother you again.


Step 3 - Get outside

Sunlight is good for you in moderation and good for your mood, so go out for a walk or even sit outside and read or listen to music, make sure you go out at least once each day.

Step 4 - Exercise

You have probably heard this one before, exercise releases endorphins, reduces depression and helps you feel better about yourself. The other benefit is you will be making yourself look a whole lot better which will no doubt help you find a new mate or make your ex realise what they are missing


Step 5 - Laugh again

Go out with your friends, go watch a funny movie, see a comedy show and start to realise you can have fun without your ex.

Step 6 - Do something new

You need to break your old habits and re-program your brain, doing new things will help achieve this. Learn a new language, take a course, do yoga, do martial arts just do something you have never done before, you'll feel a whole lot better and have more self confidence.



Ok that's it for now, I'll add some more another time.

I hope these help some of you, all the best.

Andy.