smirabilia
Feb 5, 2014, 01:11 PM
I have an affair with a coworker who has a girlfriend of one year, and I want to end it. How do I successfully do it when I see him everyday and we have the same group of friends?
It started one year ago when we were both single. He tried to court me, but he was not my type (we don't share common interests, not same sense of humor, etc.. ). Soon after rejecting him, he got in a relationship with another coworker (in another department, with whom we closely interface daily).
Since we have the same group of friends, we always go out together. It didn't help that our friends still tease us. His girlfriend, on the other hand, does not go out with us or any of his friends (he often has to lie to his girlfriend to go out with other people).
After several months I started to appreciate him more (very respectful, great around kids, driven, caring, etc.). From time to time our friends would tell me that he still loves me, and in more than one occasion he tried to have a 'closer' relationship with me. I also enjoyed his attention because I did not really like his girlfriend (she's hard to deal with at work). However, I resolved not to get involved with him until he's free. And I did not need that kind of drama in the workplace.
Then last month, I learned that he was going abroad for 3 months for work related matters. Somehow I felt bad because I would miss him. 'it just happened.' he visits me regularly and my sisters think he's my boyfriend (eventhough I say it's not official). We make out (but don't have sex), and talk about anything under the sun, that kind of stuff (we don't go out in public in case anyone sees us). He told me to give him time to break it of with his girlfriend, which is before he leaves the country.
I want to end this, before I hate myself much more than I do right now. I want to sure that this stays a secret (specially from our friends). I hate having to lie to my friends. Still I have to see him at work, then after work because we have common friends.
It started one year ago when we were both single. He tried to court me, but he was not my type (we don't share common interests, not same sense of humor, etc.. ). Soon after rejecting him, he got in a relationship with another coworker (in another department, with whom we closely interface daily).
Since we have the same group of friends, we always go out together. It didn't help that our friends still tease us. His girlfriend, on the other hand, does not go out with us or any of his friends (he often has to lie to his girlfriend to go out with other people).
After several months I started to appreciate him more (very respectful, great around kids, driven, caring, etc.). From time to time our friends would tell me that he still loves me, and in more than one occasion he tried to have a 'closer' relationship with me. I also enjoyed his attention because I did not really like his girlfriend (she's hard to deal with at work). However, I resolved not to get involved with him until he's free. And I did not need that kind of drama in the workplace.
Then last month, I learned that he was going abroad for 3 months for work related matters. Somehow I felt bad because I would miss him. 'it just happened.' he visits me regularly and my sisters think he's my boyfriend (eventhough I say it's not official). We make out (but don't have sex), and talk about anything under the sun, that kind of stuff (we don't go out in public in case anyone sees us). He told me to give him time to break it of with his girlfriend, which is before he leaves the country.
I want to end this, before I hate myself much more than I do right now. I want to sure that this stays a secret (specially from our friends). I hate having to lie to my friends. Still I have to see him at work, then after work because we have common friends.