My adult daughter whom I love so much is very distant and rude to me. Although I babysit for my adorable grandchild twice a week, she does not share anything with me and always in a hurry to leave my house, despite everything that I have done for her. I have lost sleep over this and at times, can barely function during the day. I have tried talking with her, but she becomes defensive and tells me to grow up and that she's not going to listen to my childish behavior. When my kids were growing up, my husband never came to my defense and allowed my kids to be disrespectful to me. I also have another daughter and a son who I have no problem with. This is tearing me apart as I can't get a word in edgewise. I have asked my husband to talk to my daughter and he has agreed. When that will be, I don't know. I will take the advice of anyone who is willing to assist me. I love my daughter so much!!

To be honest this sounds like more of the same instead of something that just happens, but what stands out is you blame your husband for not standing up for you. Worse you now think he can talk to your daughter on your behalf.

I think there is a lot more here than just you being a victim of your kids not caring though if you would care to share.

Parents with an empty nest can cross over a delicate line from a good loving chat into neediness, clinging, whining, and no notion of things like having to get to work on time or whatever reason your daughter might have for dropping off her child twice a week. DOES she work? Are you asking for her time when she doesn't have it?

Your daughter is now an adult. You don't 'have your husband talk to her' like she's a naughty child! The die is cast and she is who she is. If you don't like her behavior, stop babysitting.

It might help to set some boundaries for yourself. Boundaries will keep you from getting hurt and oftentimes, the person who has withdrawn will respond by becoming more open.

I don't know what you mean by her being 'rude' and 'distant', and why she won't 'share' anything with you.

What I suspect, is that this problem between the two of you has been long simmering, and your grown daughter has decided that distance is the best way to handle it.

That you babysit her children doesn't mean she owes you anything. It's your choice to babysit or not. There are no implied strings here, except that you do expect certain behavior from her, that, in your opinion, she does not show.

Why she has this attitude about you, is anyone's guess, but a little more information would be helpful.