She broke up with me for no reason on my part then a week later we just started dating again. She decided to test me by having her friend hit on me. I failed because since we are just dating I thought it was OK to accept other dates. Later that day she calls me to tell me that I'm a bull***ter and that the girl I was going to hang out with is her friend. I got mad than ended things.

The next day I tried to get her back but she wouldent talk or text me back. So I ordered some flowers to her house and than she called me back to say she got them and it was nice. She said no guy ever did that for her before. We are still friends but I feel bad, and I want back. Any advice?

So she dumped you for no reason, then you dated and never found out the reason, then she tested you, you failed, now your friends? You want her back?? Have I got that right? Since neither of us know why you were dumped, only her, start by finding out why you were dumped and then we go from there.


Why you don't know after all this time is NOT a good sign, or there is more to this than you have written.

She felt she can't give me full focus because she needed to focus on herself. She is determined to reach her gym goals. So she broke up and wanted to be friends. A few days later I went to her house and gave her the longest hug ever and kissed. That changed us from friends to dating.

WHOA - you are the most confused guy I have seen here in years, or I am.
I don't understand what 'just dating' means in terms of 'oh OK, I can date around, because we were just dating.'
You two need a serious TALK with each other, that defines your relationship.
Yes, flowers are always a winner, but they have to be followed by some very eager desire to work out what it means to be together. Talk, talk, talk.
First send her a letter, the kind that's on paper, written with a pen. Write it over and over til it's right in you mind. Stay up all night if you have to.

Do you think I can get her back? I asked her if I can see her on my birthday. She looked on her calendar and remember my day off work and my date of birth. She asked why don't I want to hang out with my friends. I told her that I'm still in love. She said I thought you wanted to be friends.

The deeper you get the more games she plays. I leave her alone. Why do you want this game player back? Or are these more tests for you? I think they are.

Are you truly lacking dignity or self respect? Keep playing her game and you surely will. Love with you isn't a priority. Begging for attention shouldn't be yours. How old are you both? Sounds like middle school.

Im 27 and she is 26. The reason why I'm I want her is because she is very independent. No family in usa. Literally on her own and takes care of her man. Other ex uses me for money. She almost never let me pay even if I tried. I admire how strong she is.

How long have you known her?

2 months, we moved really fast. Kiss on cheek first date, kiss on lips second, make out third date. 4th date we had sex. I would see her 3 times a week and sometimes 4.

You are way to eager and desperate. Leave her alone and send a nice card for her birthday and let the emotional dust settle and you both can recover from this roller coaster ride. You fell hard and fast, before you had a chance at bonding in too many other areas. As long as you want her back, you are a lousy friend.

The problem with the relationship, is insecurity, on both your parts.

She is not sure she can fully trust you (any idea why?), and you are insecure because she does not make herself clear with her expectations.

Neither of you are on the same page with what each of you expects of a friendship, let alone a serious relationship. I think you're putting a lot of energy into trying to figure out something that didn't exist in the first place.

IF there is to be any serious effort involved, on both parts, to actually build a relationship, then I suggest you both sit down together, with the sole purpose of deciding that.

What do you want out of a relationship, what does she want. Are you compatible, what about humour, common interests, trust, fidelity, and honesty to start with.

One thing is for sure. What you have now, doesn't add up to a hill of beans.

She caught me cheating by having a friend hit on me which I fail. She did it because of the songs I listen to which made her insecured. She called me to tell me I am a lier and that it was her friend
That help set me up. I god mad and ended things. I ignored her for a day and a half than called her. We spoke for half the day longest I ever spoke to her. She thought I was never going to talk to She agreed to stay friends so I ask if she want to hang out. She says she has no problem but feels that its not good to at the moment. She does not seem mad and she doesn't want me to fix anything.

They are an ex for a reason. Or are you a glutten for punishment? I think I know the answer to that.


What is the classic definition for insanity? Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

You did not care for her very much, be honest, you were ready to jump at this other girl ( who was here friend... stupid) so be honest, if you were ready to go out with someone else, that came on to you. She knows you still will.

She is a ex, too much has happened, just move on.

Good sign my ex will come back?

I was caught by my girlfriend on flirting with another girl so she dump me. I got her to agree to meet me up for a birthday hug on my birthday. When we met on her break from work. I surprised her with flowers, stuff animal and a card with a poem of wanting her back. Gave her a long hug and left. She called me back but I didn't pick up until an hour later I text her. She said she wanted to come to me when I got off work. I said you isn't going to give me back flowers are you? She said no I'm not that mean.

You'll be wasting your time... an ex is always an ex for good reasons. If you think she's going to forget what you did... you will be wrong... she will throw that up in your face every time she gets upset. Women are like that. Some guys are too.

Move on... find someone new... and learn from your previous mistakes.

She may take you back but she won't let you forget what you did. Is she worth it?

derek, please keep all questions on this subject in this thread. It helps those who are trying to help you if all the information is kept in one place.

I don't know what she will or won't do. I do think that you need to slow down. Two months and this much drama is not a good start to healthy and stable relationship if she does want to try again.