Dollslemonade
Jan 16, 2014, 11:04 PM
Recently I've discovered that a lot of things I 'remember' from my childhood never happened. It's quite distressing because I have all of these memories from the past but it's turning out that quite a lot of them aren't true.
For example, I have the distinct memory of me, my brother, and my dad going to my grandmother's house when I was about eleven years old or so (I'm twenty one now); and it turned out that she wasn't in so as a joke we all went into her house and trashed the place (not horribly I mean we pulled the cushions off the couch, emptied her money pot onto her bed and put her TV on the floor, she found this hilarious when she realised it was us who did it) and I remember dad jumping on the bed after we emptied the coins onto it and me running into her guest room and pulling the quilt covers off the bed in there. However I started talking to my brother about it the other day and he insisted that I wasn't there, I argued with him and said everything that happened and he said yes it happened but I wasn't there because he and my dad had gone to her house on dad's motorbike so there was no way I could have joined in.
I also have a memory of ringing the police when I was about five and telling them my mam was stolen from the phone in her bedroom, but when I asked her about it she told me hat I rang the police at an earlier age in a different house and I couldn't even talk then.
Another one is going mushroom picking with my dad on bonfire night and watching my mam cook them, I remember asking him years ago how old I was when we did that because I wanted to write about it for something in school and he told me it never happened and I must have dreamt it.
I also remember my grandma having a heart attack and she had to be airlifted in a black helicopter from the field beside her house, and I stood and waved her goodbye; this happened but again I wasn't there.
The most recent thing is a memory of walking on a giant red brick train with my brother when I was younger, and I've asked everyone in my family about it but they'd never heard of such a train so I looked it up and it does exist and its exactly how I remember it.
I'm finding out that a lot of my memories never actually happened, they don't feel like memories of dreams (I'm very good at remembering dreams so I know what they are), and it's upsetting that the things I distinctly remember from my childhood didn't happen, and I can't remember much else except for those things, when people have said to me "What's your best childhood memory?" (like you do at sleepovers or when you're getting late night drunk with friends) they are what I turn to but now it turns out I've been lying.
I know some of them could have been made up by my own mind, like me hearing about my grandma and my mind putting me there for some reason, but other things like the train that I am absolutely sure happened have no reason to be created.
Does anyone else have this? Is there something wrong with me? My mother joked and said that I do have childhood memories, they're just not mine. But I'm worried this will keep happening, it doesn't sound a big deal but these are my memories and if they aren't real then how many other memories do I have that never happened?
For example, I have the distinct memory of me, my brother, and my dad going to my grandmother's house when I was about eleven years old or so (I'm twenty one now); and it turned out that she wasn't in so as a joke we all went into her house and trashed the place (not horribly I mean we pulled the cushions off the couch, emptied her money pot onto her bed and put her TV on the floor, she found this hilarious when she realised it was us who did it) and I remember dad jumping on the bed after we emptied the coins onto it and me running into her guest room and pulling the quilt covers off the bed in there. However I started talking to my brother about it the other day and he insisted that I wasn't there, I argued with him and said everything that happened and he said yes it happened but I wasn't there because he and my dad had gone to her house on dad's motorbike so there was no way I could have joined in.
I also have a memory of ringing the police when I was about five and telling them my mam was stolen from the phone in her bedroom, but when I asked her about it she told me hat I rang the police at an earlier age in a different house and I couldn't even talk then.
Another one is going mushroom picking with my dad on bonfire night and watching my mam cook them, I remember asking him years ago how old I was when we did that because I wanted to write about it for something in school and he told me it never happened and I must have dreamt it.
I also remember my grandma having a heart attack and she had to be airlifted in a black helicopter from the field beside her house, and I stood and waved her goodbye; this happened but again I wasn't there.
The most recent thing is a memory of walking on a giant red brick train with my brother when I was younger, and I've asked everyone in my family about it but they'd never heard of such a train so I looked it up and it does exist and its exactly how I remember it.
I'm finding out that a lot of my memories never actually happened, they don't feel like memories of dreams (I'm very good at remembering dreams so I know what they are), and it's upsetting that the things I distinctly remember from my childhood didn't happen, and I can't remember much else except for those things, when people have said to me "What's your best childhood memory?" (like you do at sleepovers or when you're getting late night drunk with friends) they are what I turn to but now it turns out I've been lying.
I know some of them could have been made up by my own mind, like me hearing about my grandma and my mind putting me there for some reason, but other things like the train that I am absolutely sure happened have no reason to be created.
Does anyone else have this? Is there something wrong with me? My mother joked and said that I do have childhood memories, they're just not mine. But I'm worried this will keep happening, it doesn't sound a big deal but these are my memories and if they aren't real then how many other memories do I have that never happened?