nerdylove93
Dec 11, 2013, 05:39 PM
This is a very difficult thing for me to talk about but I NEED HELP with this situation!! None of my friends will listen to me and my mother has done nothing but shame me for what I have done!
I made a post 2 months ago about how I was seeing this guy. I wasn't sure if we were dating or not so I wasn't sure how to act around him. He would text me multiple times every day, hug me a lot, and almost beg for my attention. I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to get physical with him (mainly because I have low self esteem and I didn't want to disappoint him) and, guess what? We did, and it was a big mistake!!
The fifth time we hung out I slept over at his house on his couch. He asked if he could sleep with me but I said "no" so he slept in his room. The next morning he came to lay down on the couch with me, next thing I knew we were making out with each other! I can't remember who initiated it, it all happened so fast. I honestly think we both were at fault. I came over to his house again the next week. We made out again and we got a little further with each other... we didn't have 'sex' though... he said he wasn't ready for that. He mentioned a lot of his friends in high school got pregnant from messing around like this. He also said that he just wanted to be my friend at first and he wasn't really 'dating' me. He said he liked me though! He told me he would ask me out when he felt ready. The week after that I went back to his place just to watch movies and cuddle because he said he wasn't feeling well. This time... I initiated everything (because I'm a desperate person) he wasn't telling me to stop though. I would have stopped if he'd asked me! I feel so ashamed now. I didn't sleep over at his place that time even though HE really wanted me to!
It's been almost a month and a half since that night and I haven't seen him since. He never texts me anymore. A few weeks ago I messaged him asking if he wanted to hang out sometime soon and he responded with "I don't think that's a good idea. I can't date anyone right now and I don't think it's right to keep up the friends with benefits thing." This broke my heart. I texted him back saying something like "Ok! I'm sorry I pressured you into things. I hope we can still hang out together as friends sometime?" and he said "Yeah that would be great! It would be super hard not to want to kiss and stuff though xD You didn't do anything wrong. I didn't feel pressured into anything."
So I didn't text him for a while after that. I figured I'd give it time and let him message me first, but I started to miss him and I didn't want us to drift apart so I texted him asking how he was doing. We conversed back and forth for 3 days and he seemed kind enough. I'm to afraid to ask if he wants to hang out though because I don't want to feel rejection again. I would LOVE to just be able to forget about him and move on but he is honestly the sweetest guy I've ever been friends with!! He never criticized me, he treated me with such abundant kindness for the first two months when we were friends!! No boy have ever been so nice to me. I wish I could go back to that first night I slept over at his house and decide to NOT to kiss him. Then I could still have him as a friend. All the friends I have now are very rude and they make me feel alone and isolated. I've wanted new friends for a long time now, I had my chance with this extremely sweet guy and I feel like I ruined it...
What should I do? I really like him. I'd be willing to just stay friends with him if it meant I had some company! Should I continue to message him? Should I let him come to me? Should I just forget about him! I've tried forgetting but this loneliness I feel is too overwhelming. I have social anxiety so it's very hard for me to make new friends.
Some extra info: I am 21 he is 23. We met through Facebook, he got in touch with me first. I am still a virgin. PLEASE HELP! Any advice is greatly appreciated!!
I made a post 2 months ago about how I was seeing this guy. I wasn't sure if we were dating or not so I wasn't sure how to act around him. He would text me multiple times every day, hug me a lot, and almost beg for my attention. I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to get physical with him (mainly because I have low self esteem and I didn't want to disappoint him) and, guess what? We did, and it was a big mistake!!
The fifth time we hung out I slept over at his house on his couch. He asked if he could sleep with me but I said "no" so he slept in his room. The next morning he came to lay down on the couch with me, next thing I knew we were making out with each other! I can't remember who initiated it, it all happened so fast. I honestly think we both were at fault. I came over to his house again the next week. We made out again and we got a little further with each other... we didn't have 'sex' though... he said he wasn't ready for that. He mentioned a lot of his friends in high school got pregnant from messing around like this. He also said that he just wanted to be my friend at first and he wasn't really 'dating' me. He said he liked me though! He told me he would ask me out when he felt ready. The week after that I went back to his place just to watch movies and cuddle because he said he wasn't feeling well. This time... I initiated everything (because I'm a desperate person) he wasn't telling me to stop though. I would have stopped if he'd asked me! I feel so ashamed now. I didn't sleep over at his place that time even though HE really wanted me to!
It's been almost a month and a half since that night and I haven't seen him since. He never texts me anymore. A few weeks ago I messaged him asking if he wanted to hang out sometime soon and he responded with "I don't think that's a good idea. I can't date anyone right now and I don't think it's right to keep up the friends with benefits thing." This broke my heart. I texted him back saying something like "Ok! I'm sorry I pressured you into things. I hope we can still hang out together as friends sometime?" and he said "Yeah that would be great! It would be super hard not to want to kiss and stuff though xD You didn't do anything wrong. I didn't feel pressured into anything."
So I didn't text him for a while after that. I figured I'd give it time and let him message me first, but I started to miss him and I didn't want us to drift apart so I texted him asking how he was doing. We conversed back and forth for 3 days and he seemed kind enough. I'm to afraid to ask if he wants to hang out though because I don't want to feel rejection again. I would LOVE to just be able to forget about him and move on but he is honestly the sweetest guy I've ever been friends with!! He never criticized me, he treated me with such abundant kindness for the first two months when we were friends!! No boy have ever been so nice to me. I wish I could go back to that first night I slept over at his house and decide to NOT to kiss him. Then I could still have him as a friend. All the friends I have now are very rude and they make me feel alone and isolated. I've wanted new friends for a long time now, I had my chance with this extremely sweet guy and I feel like I ruined it...
What should I do? I really like him. I'd be willing to just stay friends with him if it meant I had some company! Should I continue to message him? Should I let him come to me? Should I just forget about him! I've tried forgetting but this loneliness I feel is too overwhelming. I have social anxiety so it's very hard for me to make new friends.
Some extra info: I am 21 he is 23. We met through Facebook, he got in touch with me first. I am still a virgin. PLEASE HELP! Any advice is greatly appreciated!!