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View Full Version : I feel left out from my housemates at uni


rubysmith
Nov 7, 2013, 04:47 PM
I share a house with 7 other students they all have big personality's. I really like everyone in my house they're all really cool but for some reason I still don't feel like I've clicked with them. I feel left out like the other 3 girls are all really close and hang out in each others rooms and go and talk to each other about things. Sometimes I go and join them if they're all in a room but I would never just walk into any of their rooms if they're not all in there together even if I wanted to talk to someone. Its been like this for ages and I just want to be one of them. I feel like since I've moved here my personalitys almost gone. That might be because they've all got such big personalitys but its like when I talk to them its still small talk.

What do I do?

dontknownuthin
Nov 16, 2013, 09:44 AM
Being more introverted is OK and if your expectation is to change your personality, it isn't going to happen. On the other hand you should not stand around feeling left out of a group that welcomes you. You may just have a different sense of privacy and feel like you are being intrusive to go in someone's room. If the door is open, consider it OK to talk to them. If the door is closed, only enter for things that can't wait, and knock. The place doesn't have to be on fire, but maybe to say, "I'm running to the store, would you like to go?"

I think you need to build individual friendships with the girls, so when the chance comes, take it. I used to ask my roommates if they wanted to join me at the library (safer to walk home together). Or we would make an evening run for ice cream. Not major plans but we got to know each other better.

smoothy
Nov 16, 2013, 07:00 PM
Sorry to be a harsh as this... but welcome to the real world... you learn to adapt and fit in... because as an adult... it falls upon you.

Life is what you make it... and if you really wanted to change yourself... it can happen... but it won't be easy or happen overnight... but an introvert CAN change to become an extrovert.

Trust me I did it... its only difficult at first but as you become more confident and comfortable doing it... then it becomes second nature.