Ive been really depressed since the passing of my father then school stresses me and my family makes it even worse my mom fights with me and my sis for not being perfect she told me I will never make it and life. I believed her I was really depressed people bullied me in high school and made fun of what I love to do which is animation I loved doing animations but people being pulling me down all my life I have no friends everyone hates me and I hate everyone else I have really don't have a meaning in life anymore I want to kill myself I have tried once I pulled out the knife I had in my cabinet I placed on my thoart but I didn't do I stopped from doing I was crying and I was wondering why everyone hated me but now I'm just a loser I know it my family knows it and all the people school knows it to I truly do cry myself to sleep everyday I don't know what I am anymore I'm just a life less body just roaming around wit no reason I just don't know any more I want to kill myself but I don't know what's stopping me I ing hate my life

I can't tell if you should call an ambulance and be taken to a hospital to keep you from killing yourself, or if you might be able to find a clinic near you that does therapy, or if people online can give you suggestions. The way you talk right here, you sound at the end of the line emotionally, and need more help than we can give.
Maybe can you write some more? Start with how old you are, and what it's been like since your father died. Is your mother grieving, or angry, or bitter, or stressed from finances?
Why did kids bully you? Animation can't be the reason, all by itself. Were you just out of the groups and cliques because you were depressed, and they picked on you for that?