I am a 24 year old female. Had a couple of previous sexual relationships. Both of who have cheated on me and either put me down or never given me compliments.

I am low on self-esteem and confidence because of this but always have been. I'm not over weight but I'm conscious I am not particularly toned. I have a little cellulite around my thighs and bum and I also have quite a few stretch marks on my thighs, hips and boobs as these are quite big. I am a uk 12 and weigh about 10 stone 10 and 5ft 7. However because of these imperfections I am very self conscious that thy may repulse men!

I've discovered a guy in work likes me, he's a big flirt but I do like him. Everyone think he seems smitten on me but because of the way I am I just don't see it. He is my perfect type and I just think wow why is he interested in me? His own staff are stunning one in particular looks like Nicole swerchzinger. So I'm like surely he's way out my league?

Anyway we have a staff night out next week and I know the opportunity will be there for me to go back to his hotel room. I am desperate to do this. I am so turned on every time he walks in my office I get goosebumps and tingles and he always comes over and pulls my hair and pretends to have little play fights and things. I daydream allday about ripping his clothes off...

HOWEVER... I am just scared! I want to be able to go have some fun but I'm too self conscious and as much as I want to be a kinky minx I just don't have it in me! I feel awkward when it comes to talking dirty as I have no experience and I'm just not really sure how things happen on a one stand when you have fun! As in how they all lead into each other! Basically he has his opinion of me saying like I am fit and he wants to rip my clothes off and have dirty sex (it's such a major turn on but I just don't know how to). I feel I have made myself out to be something I have no experience in and as much as I want something to happen I feel nervous as I want it to go somewhere and right now I think ill just come across as a disappointment and inexperienced!

Please help me!

If you had a one-night stand with this coworker and it turned out to be a disaster, how would life be at work for you whenever you'd see him (or he see you)?

I'd steer clear of a liaison with him. Coworker romances too often become a nightmare.

You will come across as an easy slut and be fit for wild sex. One night stands lead to other one night stands. Its you who end up being disappointed, and talked about by you coworkers. You aren't out of his league, no woman is because its just free sex.

You really want help, stay out of his room and bed and get some self esteem back. Scewing a hot co worker or boss won't help that.

I think I've given the wrong end of the stick. This has been going on for a year now as in flirting and we have been texting everyday for the best part of 2 months. It's not a one night stand I like the guy and he likes me!

I think I've given the wrong end of the stick. This has been going on for a year now as in flirting and we have been texting everyday for the best part of 2 months. It's not a one night stand I like the guy and he likes me!

Have you gone on a formal date?

Sex is not a recreational sport. Its something to be shared between people in a long term committed relationship. If you go to bed with this guy before you have built a relationship then yes you will be considered easy and its unlikely he will have respect for you.

I think I've given the wrong end of the stick. This has been going on for a year now as in flirting and we have been texting everyday for the best part of 2 months. It's not a one night stand I like the guy and he likes me!

This is worse than I thought!

Have you gone on a formal date?

Sex is not a recreational sport. Its something to be shared between people in a long term committed relationship. If you go to bed with this guy before you have built a relationship then yes you will be considered easy and its unlikely he will have respect for you.

I am NOT easy! He has asked me to sleep with him on many occasions and it could have happened about 50 times within the year and I have not allowed it. We have been for tea after work loads and speak all the time. He lives away and stays over in a hotel so many nights a week. This is why I am not easy as I have never once gone back, but now I know him more I feel ready for it to happen on Friday after a staff night out.


This is worse than I thought!

Why so? I am a mature female an he is an even more mature male. We have totally kept this out of work and have mr broken any professional boundaries!

I could have gone back to his hotel so many times and now I've got to know him, had some dates etc I feel ready! However my insecurities stop me as he seems so perfect! I was only after advice and guidance as I'm inexperienced! I didn't ask for more put downs!

Well that's a bit different. But I still say you really need to date him some before you have sex with him.

Why so? I am a mature female an he is an even more mature male. We have totally kept this out of work and have mr broken any professional boundaries!

I could have gone back to his hotel so many times and now I've got to know him, had some dates etc I feel ready! However my insecurities stop me as he seems so perfect! I was only after advice and guidance as I'm inexperienced! I didn't ask for more put downs!

The way I see it, if he's really into you for more than just sex, he'll make a commitment to you. I wouldn't go to his hotel room and rip off his clothes until you two are boyfriend and girlfriend.

Going on a few dates is all well and good. You've gotten to know each other. But has he asked you to be his exclusively?

You're not a child, and you can do what you want. I will say that in my youth I had a few one night stands, with guys I knew very well. They all ended very badly.

What happens if this night of passion results in a child? With no commitment from him do you think he'd stand up, be a man?

Date, date a lot, get to know each other, commit to each other by at least being exclusive, and then talk about sex, what would happen if you got pregnant, any fears about STI's, etc. That's the responsible thing a mature adult would do.

He lives away and stays over in a hotel so many nights a week.
This part bothers me. He lives alone when he's "away," at home? Do you know anything about his personal life?

Hold off on the sex until he offers more than tea after work. We may be blunt, but we are honestly trying to keep you from being used and thrown aside.

You honestly believe he has no other girls you don't know about?

You have had tea and he talks about sex to you. This is what the man wants. Is he single?
This guy probably reads your low self esteem like a map and knows once he gets you in bed you can be his sex away from home, maybe a different sex away from home, he may already be doing this with someone else. He may even have a girl friend at home.
This would be a big mistake.