Log in

View Full Version : Why is a girl that knows I like her trying to get a reaction from me?


newmember2013
Oct 2, 2013, 11:19 AM
Everyone knows I like a girl at work. Yesterday she got together with a guy and it appeared that they were going for a drink. This never happened. The pair of them were in on it to see if they could get a reaction from me and it worked. People were saying I looked like I wanted to kill someone.

Why would she do this. What I have been told, she knows I like her and she finds it strange I can talk to other girls, but not her. She knows I am shy, and I walk past her if I see her because I get tongue tied when I try and talk to her.

talaniman
Oct 2, 2013, 12:25 PM
What is this high school? How old are you and why can you talk to other girls and not her? Why does everyone in your workplace even know your business?

Stop using shyness as an excuse to say nothing, and be mature about this my friend, even if you have to practice your rap in front of a mirror. I think they were trying to get you to do something about your shyness.

newmember2013
Oct 2, 2013, 12:44 PM
A lot of people at work are saying that the 1 thing holding me back is being shy and they will bring me out of it if it's the last thing they do. I can talk to other girls at work because I donot like them as much as this certain girl. I was talking today to some girl at the end of the shift and I was having a laugh and joke with her and I felt at ease. Seriously as soon as I see the girl I like, I get all nervous inside and that's why I avoid her because I have spoken to her before and made a complete mess of what I was trying to say. The reason why they know I like her is because every time they mention her, I go as red as a beetroot and when I try to defend her and say "donot say that about her, its not nice" I get ribbed about it a lot

Jake2008
Oct 3, 2013, 05:02 AM
I wonder why she can't just ask YOU out! What's with all the games she plays, knowing (via gossip) that you like her.

One of you has to put on your big people pants, and break that ice.

Why not take a chance and send her an email, asking for her phone number so that you can text her on the weekend; maybe she would like to get together and see a movie or something.

Don't be surprised if find out that your text/email, has also been turned into the gossip mill for laughs though, as it seems she likes to put her business out there and you are a target. If that happens, consider any relationship with her not worth your while.

I wouldn't personally trust her.

newmember2013
Oct 3, 2013, 08:09 AM
You know what jake 2008. Funny you should mention that. A friend of mine come up to me at work today and told me I should call her bluff. Tell her that people have been saying things and its about time I come clean and tell you what is really going on and what I really think of you (via gossip, I know she has Facebook but like you say, donot be surprised that if I did send her a message on Facebook she spread it around to everyone, and on Facebook, a few people have even emailed me her no. knowing my luck, its one of them sex chat lines lollllll)

newmember2013
Oct 3, 2013, 08:29 AM
I have just looked at my rota and she is on the same shift as me tomorrow. What should I do. I was on the same shift as her the other day and I blanked her completely. Did not even look at her. My way of showing her how angry and upset I was about what she did (probably liked it even more I bet). Should I continue with this or just act like nothing happened and talk to her as and when I find the courage to utter a few words to her

talaniman
Oct 3, 2013, 08:35 AM
Do you have a life outside of work that you enjoy and makes you happy? I have never have been a fan of mixing workplace and social life as everyone will know your business, the grapevine will be about YOU, and it could make work a messy place indeed. How do you focus on work when you have a tiff or two?

Plus I hate games where everyone but you has their own rules, and helpful advice how to play.

Jake2008
Oct 3, 2013, 11:10 AM
How true what Tal said. Everybody plays games with their own rules, and helpful advice on how to play.

I think she will remain a thorn in your side until you confront her. Tell her what is making you angry ARE the games, and you'd appreciate it if she'd grow up a bit, leave you out of the drama, and behave more professionally at work.

Maybe it's time to consider someone with a little bit of integrity, and more maturity if you're looking for a relationship. I don't think this particular girl would even make a good friend, let alone anything more.

odinn7
Oct 3, 2013, 12:11 PM
To be honest, she sounds rather immature... like an immature jerk.

In High School I had sent a note to a girl I liked because friends said I should. She was very amused and so was everyone else when she took that note and showed everyone that was willing to look. This girl you are talking about reminds me of her.

I wouldn't even bother. Convince yourself she isn't worth your time and just move on.

newmember2013
Oct 3, 2013, 12:43 PM
Can I just say thanks a lot for answering the question for me. Your answers have given me serious food for thought and given me a lot to think about. When I mentioned to the guy involved in the prank how angry I was and I would appreciate it if he was a bit more mature, I expected more from him, he was genuinely shocked at my reaction and came up with the "oh its only banter" trust me, I will be confronting her about this in time. I want to let the dust settle for a bit, let this blow over then I will confront her

newmember2013
Oct 5, 2013, 01:06 PM
I have found out she does have an online account. The guy who was involved in the prank asked to add me on social media which I have done. Now a good friend of the girl came up to me today and said he is arranging for him, a few females from work (including her) to go for a drink soon after work and if I wanted to come. I have been pondering what I should do and have decided to say yes. Maybe this would be a good time away from work to get her on her own and separate the fact from the fiction so to speak

I forgot to add. Yesterday at work, I was talking to the guy that is arranging this drink after work thing. Next thing I know, she walks in and he calls her over. I tried to act as normal as possible, but before she came over, I just sped away like usain bolt simply because I could feel myself getting nervous and shaking a bit and I did not want to say something in case I messed up what I was going to say. The guy came up to me earlier and I tried to make an excuse but he saw right through it, and I think she did as well. He told me that she was very surprised at how fast I left

odinn7
Oct 5, 2013, 03:00 PM
I think this after work drink plan of yours is not going to go well for you. I could be wrong but I see a number of outcomes that could be bad.

One thing is you may be so nervous that you drink too much and act like an idiot or say something that makes all of this worse. If she makes you so nervous at work that you need to run from a room if she is coming in... well, why will it be different at a gathering?

The other thing I see that could happen is you could remain too nervous about it all and have things go bad for you outside of work.

A few other things as well... but really, why go through with this? What are you hoping to gain? As I said, she sounds immature. Is this someone you really want as a girlfriend? Also I have to ask... why get so nervous around her that it shuts you down? She's just a person... a regular person... nobody special. You may need to work on social skills a little bit to realize this and overcome it.

Me? I wouldn't be going to this after work drink get together just for a chance to see her. If you have friends that will be there that you can hang with, that's different. But just for her makes no sense.

LadySam
Oct 5, 2013, 03:51 PM
Honestly, I have to agree that immaturity is an issue here.
I can see Odinn's scenarios for a drink night out.
It seems that she enjoys getting her jollies at someone else's expense, don't give her ammunition.

talaniman
Oct 5, 2013, 04:03 PM
I could advise you better if your anxieties weren't the real issues here that's causing all your problems. I recommend help with that.

It has become a big problem that needs addressing.

newmember2013
Oct 6, 2013, 01:18 PM
Nervousness is always a problem I have had but as was said to me today, you are talking to that girl and that girl but not the one you like. I said I know, but every time I try and talk to her, I get tongue tied and it all comes out wrong. I will be going to this drinks thing because I know if I do not, its not going to solve anything is it, and it might be what I need, out of the work environment so to speak. I am coming out of my shell a bit to the surprise of a few women at work. Something happened today actually and for a minute I thought she may be involved and I did say if I found out who it was, I would "rip that persons head off" (I said that exact phrase in front of her and I could see she was genuinely shocked at how I come out with it because I could hear as I was walking away, her saying "i have never seen him that angry before. I hope he is ok") and only 10/15 minutes later in front of some of her friends she asked if I had an idea who it was and I just said no. with regards to the drinks thing odinn, it is planned to be a few people and not just me and her, and anyway, nothing is ever likely to happen as I believe she is with someone (so I have been told)

talaniman
Oct 6, 2013, 01:39 PM
Who needs a workplace romance drama any way?