boredlady
Sep 17, 2013, 09:27 AM
Dear all,
I am writing to you as I haven't since 2011. Just to remind you about my story, I posted before in 2009 and in 2011 under cheating husband and cheated again.
I am married and have 2 girls in 2009 I got to know from my husband that he cheated on me many times almost a year and half after our marriage. I was so hurt and used to cry day and night, lost hope in life and everything, I wanted to get a divorce at that time but couldn't due to financial and family matters and my girls was still garde 5 and grade 1. So I stayed
My husband wasn't satsified with my looks as he wanted to marry a blonde lady even thought I am not ugly, with fair skin and attractive features and body.
He also was nevr satsified by my work- Admin work-
In 2011, I figured that he is still doing the same things even though he promised he would stop and I also posted "Cheatin again" thread and I was so ready at this time to get a divorce when he insisted that I stay and forgive him which was never easy and his actions broke a lot of things between us.
As he wasn;t satsfied with my work, he pushed me to study something else, which I did and I got my certifcate and got a job in a new office in which I met new people and many of them wanted to talk to me. I was happy that finally someone told me how pretty I was even without saying it directly but by wanting to talk to me.
I told him about that and he felt SO GOOD that men are flirting with his wife, not sure what kind of satisfaction did that gave him but sure it was a lot. He even asked me to do whatever I want even to sleep with anyone I like and it would be better if he will be invited to watch - his fantasy and always wanted it even till now- but not to fall in love with anyone.
This guy at the office I actually started liking him, je loved the way I look as I am unlike my husband and I slept with him and told my husband later because I wouldn't let him watch me with another man.
I slept with him for couple of times and fell in love with him as he is a true man with all his thoughts and action- he is 11 years older than me- but soon enough I felt bad as I am not used to this kind of relations and because of my religious beliefs, so I broke up with this man and said to give myself and my husband a new start so I can love him back. Meanwhile he started to change from someone who doesn't care where I go or with whom I am with to a very jealous person who questions everything I do even when I am doing nothing.
In the time I broke up with this man, I found myself that I changed a lot. I don't love my husband as a husband only like a friend or brother nothing more. I went many times to church, prayed, confessed and wanted to be myself again but it didn't work. I lost all the love to my husband, he is the reason of what we ended up in. Just a fake relation and when I confronted him and told him why did you push me to do that since years, he had no answer.
I now back to seeing this person but didn't sleep with him again, I feel bad in the eyes of myself before anyone else. If you will judge me, please read my previous 2 threads and you will know exactly what I am talking about.
I was a very honest person, prays a lot, goes to church every week and cares about everyone but myself. Got hurt many times not only but action cheating- but by words too which were more than a sword.
He is very weak now, he is in my place 4 years ago. He feels unsecure and he doesn't want to do sex for money anymore. He says many times how he loves me everyday but I don't love him anymore. Also my older daughter who was seeing me with all the troubles before is now almost 16, even though I never told her about the cheating but she saw how he used to treat me and her as well, and no matter what he does she hates him and can't wait until she is 18 to go study somewhere away from him.
Life is unfair, when I was was Ok with him and was ready to do anything to see the smile on his face, he doesn't like us and when I change he comes crawling and says how much he loves us and cares about us.
My older daughter is so smart, when I try to talk her to love him as he is good person now, she tells me that he is good because he didn't find anyone to love him. He would have dumped us if he found what he was looking for. She is so smart and noticed since long time how he used to flirt with other women-
Please look at my story and tell me what you think? And how life is treating me.
Thanks,
I am writing to you as I haven't since 2011. Just to remind you about my story, I posted before in 2009 and in 2011 under cheating husband and cheated again.
I am married and have 2 girls in 2009 I got to know from my husband that he cheated on me many times almost a year and half after our marriage. I was so hurt and used to cry day and night, lost hope in life and everything, I wanted to get a divorce at that time but couldn't due to financial and family matters and my girls was still garde 5 and grade 1. So I stayed
My husband wasn't satsified with my looks as he wanted to marry a blonde lady even thought I am not ugly, with fair skin and attractive features and body.
He also was nevr satsified by my work- Admin work-
In 2011, I figured that he is still doing the same things even though he promised he would stop and I also posted "Cheatin again" thread and I was so ready at this time to get a divorce when he insisted that I stay and forgive him which was never easy and his actions broke a lot of things between us.
As he wasn;t satsfied with my work, he pushed me to study something else, which I did and I got my certifcate and got a job in a new office in which I met new people and many of them wanted to talk to me. I was happy that finally someone told me how pretty I was even without saying it directly but by wanting to talk to me.
I told him about that and he felt SO GOOD that men are flirting with his wife, not sure what kind of satisfaction did that gave him but sure it was a lot. He even asked me to do whatever I want even to sleep with anyone I like and it would be better if he will be invited to watch - his fantasy and always wanted it even till now- but not to fall in love with anyone.
This guy at the office I actually started liking him, je loved the way I look as I am unlike my husband and I slept with him and told my husband later because I wouldn't let him watch me with another man.
I slept with him for couple of times and fell in love with him as he is a true man with all his thoughts and action- he is 11 years older than me- but soon enough I felt bad as I am not used to this kind of relations and because of my religious beliefs, so I broke up with this man and said to give myself and my husband a new start so I can love him back. Meanwhile he started to change from someone who doesn't care where I go or with whom I am with to a very jealous person who questions everything I do even when I am doing nothing.
In the time I broke up with this man, I found myself that I changed a lot. I don't love my husband as a husband only like a friend or brother nothing more. I went many times to church, prayed, confessed and wanted to be myself again but it didn't work. I lost all the love to my husband, he is the reason of what we ended up in. Just a fake relation and when I confronted him and told him why did you push me to do that since years, he had no answer.
I now back to seeing this person but didn't sleep with him again, I feel bad in the eyes of myself before anyone else. If you will judge me, please read my previous 2 threads and you will know exactly what I am talking about.
I was a very honest person, prays a lot, goes to church every week and cares about everyone but myself. Got hurt many times not only but action cheating- but by words too which were more than a sword.
He is very weak now, he is in my place 4 years ago. He feels unsecure and he doesn't want to do sex for money anymore. He says many times how he loves me everyday but I don't love him anymore. Also my older daughter who was seeing me with all the troubles before is now almost 16, even though I never told her about the cheating but she saw how he used to treat me and her as well, and no matter what he does she hates him and can't wait until she is 18 to go study somewhere away from him.
Life is unfair, when I was was Ok with him and was ready to do anything to see the smile on his face, he doesn't like us and when I change he comes crawling and says how much he loves us and cares about us.
My older daughter is so smart, when I try to talk her to love him as he is good person now, she tells me that he is good because he didn't find anyone to love him. He would have dumped us if he found what he was looking for. She is so smart and noticed since long time how he used to flirt with other women-
Please look at my story and tell me what you think? And how life is treating me.
Thanks,