I am a 15 year old girl living with my parents. I recently got into an argument with my father. He said that if I were to come home late from school again, he's going to ship me off to the Dominican Republic. I told him the only reason I came home late was because I was doing research on tutoring programs so I can do better in school. He tells me that my sister was able to do things without help. I told him I am not like my sister nor will I be sent away just 'cause he says so. It's the first time I ever stood up against him. I don't want to be told to go take family counseling because it really won't work in this situation. Also, please don't think that I'm just a teenage girl going through a rebellion phase because my sister also went through the same thing. I've been going through this my whole life. I've become depressed and upset and this issue with my family is just effecting my grades at school and my overall mood. I know my parents care and worry but the words they say are really not words of encouragement. My question is can I get emancipation at 16 in NYS? What are the laws for emancipation? If I get kicked out my house, can I look for a friend to live with? Will I be considered a runaway?

You have to have parents permission and prove to a court you can afford to fully support yourself. Can you talk to your older sister or an aunt about your problems? Maybe a note from the school stating you need the tutoring might help.

You aren't going to get emancipation unless you are able to completely support yourself... meaning rent, utilities, food everything... WITHOUT living with anyone else... AND be able to pay a lawyer to petition as well.


Meaning... since you aren't a TV star and independently wealthy... its not going to happen.

What's in the Dominican Republic? Do you have relatives there?

Yes, get a note from school that you need tutoring and how the school will help by recommending some names.

Family counseling might just be the ticket both you and your father need. Can't imagine why you don't think it would work.

Dominican Republic I guess is like when my mom would tell me she was going to ship me to timbuckto. I'm guessing that she knows her dad well enough to know he would never agree to counseling. A lot of men are too proud and have negative impressions of counseling.

Well, I don't know any relatives in the Dominican Republic. I had a grandfather I knew but he recently passed away. He would talk some sense to my dad to send me back if he were still alive. He did it for my sister. How my dad described it, I would be doing hard labor and getting bit by mosquitoes. Honestly, I can take two or three more years of living with them. However, I think I am capable of taking care of myself and well aware what the real world holds. Would it be a good idea to start taking care of myself without their help or should I still live through it? Any answer would be fine. I want something helpful. I don't want to do anything stupid or regretful.

Also, my dad thinks I'm capable of learning on my own just like my sister. No matter how hard I try showing him programs of tutoring or anything, he just says I don't need it. I just want to think more positive about myself, be happier and be better in school. Help isn't an option according to my parents.

Also, my dad thinks I'm capable of learning on my own just like my sister. No matter how hard I try showing him programs of tutoring or anything, he just says I don't need it. I just wanna think more positive about myself, be happier and be better in school. Help isn't an option according to my parents.
Which subjects do you think you need tutoring in? How are your grades for those subjects?

You aren't going to get emancipation unless you are able to completely support yourself...meaning rent, utilities, food everything...WITHOUT living with anyone else....AND be able to pay a lawyer to petition as well.


Meaning....since you aren't a TV star and independently wealthy...its not going to happen.

I'm well aware. I've done my own research as well. Since I'm still young, I have enough time to think it through. I can either wait or try. No rush really.

Which subjects do you think you need tutoring in? How are your grades for those subjects?

All of them. Especially Chinese. I'm a slow learner compared to others. I don't pay attention very easily. It takes a while to comprehend most things teachers would say. I also have a lot of stress on my mind. Number one priority would be to make my parents be proud of me for once.

All of them. Especially Chinese. I'm a slow learner compared to others. I don't pay attention very easily. It takes a while to comprehend most things teachers would say. I also have a lot of stress on my mind. Number one priority would be to make my parents be proud of me for once.
Why, if you have trouble paying attention and are stressed, would you take Chinese, of all things?

Why, if you have trouble paying attention and are stressed, would you take Chinese, of all things?

It's required in my school to learn Chinese. Then take the Chinese Regents. This school wasn't really my first choice. My grades weren't really up to par for other schools to accept me.

It's required in my school to learn Chinese. Then take the Chinese Regents. This school wasn't really my first choice. My grades weren't really up to par for other schools to accept me.
This is a private high school?

This is a private high school?

Surprisingly it isn't. I thought it should be because not a lot of people know about the school. It's one of the few schools who does the Chinese Regents.

I'm well aware. I've done my own research as well. Since I'm still young, I have enough time to think it through. I can either wait or try. No rush really.

You'll be 18 and can move out on your own soon enough. Its not going to be even half as easy as you think it will be.

You'll be 18 and can move out on your own soon enough. Its not going to be even half as easy as you think it will be.

I know it won't be easy. I'm aware of that. Living on your own is not easy. Not a lot of people will rent you places because of your age. There aren't many good jobs. You need to get certain things with your parents' help or consent.

I know it won't be easy. I'm aware of that. Living on your own is not easy. Not a lot of people will rent you places because of your age. There aren't many good jobs. You need to get certain things with your parents' help or consent.

I'm talking after you are 18... when you are legally an adult and don't need anyone's consent.

Unless you are legally emancipated.. you can't do ANY of those even with consent until you are an adult.

You must be 18 to enter into any legal contract... renting a place is a legal contract... getting utilities is as well.

And without a work history and a lot of experience... you will be working minimum wage, entry level jobs... and that doesn't go very far at all. And isn't enough to live on your own most places.

I'm talking after you are 18.....when you are legally an adult and don't need anyone's consent.

Unless you are legally emancipated..you can't do ANY of those even with consent until you are an adult.

You must be 18 to enter into any legal contract.....renting a place is a legal contract....getting utilities is as well.

And without a work history and a lot of experience....you will be working minimum wage, entry level jobs...and that does go very far at all. And isn't enough to live on your own most places.

I see that. I think I can handle my parents for a little bit longer. The more knowledge I have of this, the more I can re-think things.

I see that. I think I can handle my parents for a little bit longer. The more knowledge I have of this, the more I can re-think things.
Are any teachers at school willing to help you or tutor you after class or even after school for a short time? Or a classmate? Do you have any study halls?

Are any teachers at school willing to help you or tutor you after class or even after school for a short time? or a classmate? Do you have any study halls?

Well I did say my dad doesn't believe I need that. He won't really allow it unless it's mandatory.

I see that. I think I can handle my parents for a little bit longer. The more knowledge I have of this, the more I can re-think things.

Just for a point of reference... It was a few years after I graduated college before I could afford my own place... (like 8 years). And I was making a lot more than minimum wage with that degree.

I'm only pointing this out because few people your age really fully grasp this. Your standard of living will take a big drop for some years to come as you are able to move up the ladder into better jobs and get raises based on gained experience.

Nobody graduates High school... and gets a job and lives like they have been accustomed to in even a couple years. Its been decades since that was possible.

Knowing this, as you say, will help you deal with things. Not sure what I mean?. how many of your friends talk about what they are going to do when they move out on their own? If after paying for everything they have enough left to do even 1% of it... I'd be surprised.
It really is way different than you imagine... its a lot harder... and shall I say harsher.

The more you know.. the better prepared you will be when the time comes.

Just for a point of reference....It was a few years after I graduated college before I could afford my own place....(like 8 years). And I was making a lot more than minimum wage with that degree.

I'm only pointing this out because few people your age really fully grasp this. Your standard of living will take a big drop for some years to come as you are able to move up the ladder into better jobs and get raises based on gained experience.

Nobody graduates High school....and gets a job and lives like they have been accustomed to in even a couple years. Its been decades since that was possible.

Knowing this, as you say, will help you deal with things. Not sure what I mean?...how many of your friends talk about what they are going to do when they move out on their own? If after paying for everything they have enough left to do even 1% of it...I'd be surprised.
It really is way different than you imagine....its a lot harder....and shall I say harsher.

The more you know..the better prepared you will be when the time comes.

My friends don't have a similar mind set like mine. I'm more serious when it comes to thinking about my future. I do debate with myself whether it's a good idea to leave home early or not. Yet, I am prepared with how hard life will be in a few years. How I imagine life isn't all sunshine and lollipops. It's just going to be difficult till you're actually used to it. I'm aware and prepared. Not meaning I'm ready to completely live on my own at a young age but ready to face what's coming to me in a few years.

My friends don't have a similar mind set like mine. I'm more serious when it comes to thinking about my future. I do debate with myself whether it's a good idea to leave home early or not. Yet, I am prepared with how hard life will be in a few years. How I imagine life isn't all sunshine and lollipops. It's just going to be difficult till you're actually used to it. I'm aware and prepared. Not meaning I'm ready to completely live on my own at a young age but ready to face what's coming to me in a few years.
Then you won't be in for the shock they are... not as much anyway.

In the real world... if you don't have money for rent.. they evict you, don't pay your utilities.. they turn them off... don't have money for groceries... you don't eat... or find a soup kitchen..

Nobody will be cutting you a break... when you have $1,000 in bills that need paid now... and you only have $900. Things are going to get rough.

Trust me... I spent a year eating nothing but cheap ramen noodles for lunch (that I buoght several cases of so I could get them for $0.10 each) because I had to have gas to get to work... That was almost 30 years ago... to this day... I almost gag when I think of Ramen noodles.

Then you won't be in for the shock they are...not as much anyway.

In the real world....if you don't have money for rent..they evict you, don't pay your utilities..they turn them off....don't have money for groceries....you don't eat...or find a soup kitchen..

Nobody will be cutting you a break... when you have $1,000 in bills that need paid now...and you only have $900. Things are going to get rough.

Trust me...I spent a year eating nothing but cheap ramen noodles for lunch (that I buoght several cases of so I could get them for $0.10 each) because I had to have gas to get to work....That was almost 30 years ago...to this day...I almost gag when I think of Ramen noodles.

I wouldn't blame you for gagging. I go to an Asian School and usually the school store would sell Ramen noodles and the whole cafeteria would smell like it. It gets annoying.