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View Full Version : Parental abuse, child a tool


SnakeMama
Sep 12, 2013, 12:43 PM
I am writing for some help on an issue. My fiance's ex went off birth control years ago and did not tell him (on purpose but don't have it in writing, yet) - So needless to say, she got pregnant. He never wanted the kid but did what he thought was right, signed the cirtificate and attempted to get back with the mom. It just did NOT work.

The female is very controlling and bred with 2 other men since the first kid and married another guy. She had an agreement with my fiancé to let him pay for the adoption of all three kids to her husband. My fiancé sent the money to the courts and waited - He waited 3 weeks staying in contact with her trying to get her to follow through. She said he was "being a pest" and said she wasn't going to do it anymore.

Years later the subject was brought up again, and at first she posted to Facebook about him being a deadbeat dad and the like. The letter was professional and respectful to her, there was no call for this sort of attack. Since then he's filled out questionaires and wrote a letter to the kid to explain why he's not going to be in his life - She was leading him on yet again making him think she was going to finally agree with the adoption again. He bent over backwards telling her he wanted nothing to do with her or her family - But she would not listen and kept saying that its not what he really wants (hes nearly 40, she can't let go of who he used to be 12 years ago).

He has not spoken to the kid in nearly 3-4 years, he figures it is not right to confuse the child with "who" his dad is. The mom's husband is the "father" - NONE of the other men she bred with has ANYTHING to do with her, she's OK with that, but not my fiancé. NOW she is taking her offspring to my fiance's family and telling them lies about any relationship between them, butting into his family even though he asked her not to (his family is too nice to say no to a controlling liar). She keeps saying that the child is the one wanting to do all this and wants to meet his biological family - Which is a lie, she's the one contacting all the family she can, and making all the arrangements.

The woman has had 3 cases opened on her for child neglect and the like with CPS. She runs an illegal animal rescue out of her house, she lies to the court about not having a job and needing child daycare (she trades with other parents, including with one that has a known child molester next door), and so on. The courts side with her though - As is the normal for this situation.

I am going to stop here and finish my question: Is there any way for my fiancé to get help in terminating parental rights AND obligations?

ScottGem
Sep 12, 2013, 01:53 PM
I am going to stop here and finish my question: Is there any way for my fiancé to get help in terminating parental rights AND obligations?

No. No court is going to terminate his rights and especially not his obligations. Unless the step father goes ahead with the adoption, then he is stuck.

And frankly, I think he should be ashamed of himself. Whether this woman tricked him into getting her pregnant or not, he fathered that child. He has a moral obligation to be a father to that child. The confusion business is just blowing smoke.

The only way I can see possibly forcing her to go through with the adoption is for him to file for primary custody of his child. Try to take her away from her mother and see how fast she agrees to the adoption. Of course she might call his bluff and he will have to be a father to her.