Ok I’m wondering if this is rude. To me it is VERY rude, but just wanting input really. I went to visit my sister and brother in law out of state. Everyone made a big deal out of me going there not sure why. I think they thought it was hard for me to travel alone. It was my first time visiting and I’m not married etc. Of course they live together in a small apartment. I was there for 2.5 days sort of. Now I get that my brother in law was busy and had to give speeches at a convention, and really we did sort of miss each other like he came in while I was sleeping, however, I found it REALLY rude, that the whole time I was staying at his place not ONCE did he talk to me or say a WORD to me while in his apartment. I figured we'd chat like friends, talk even small talk, and NOTHING. It was really weird to me. For instance, I got there Friday, and Friday night I got home with my sister and I fell asleep. He came in later. So sure, we couldn't talk. However, Saturday morning he didn't try to small talk or chat with me and just got up and left. I was sleeping but I was tossing/turning and he noticed that. You’d think even a hey, what's up or anything. But NOTHING.

Now even while there, he was being semi standoffish and literally just NOT talking to me much. The only conversation we had was with a group of people and it was like with the whole group. Also when my sister talks to me on the phone she says "well he wants to talk to you, BUT he's busy." I don't ask to talk to him it seems he's just trying to NOT talk to me I think not give me any positive energy. His behavior is weird. I don't know why my sister even says oh, he wants to talk to you but he’s busy, HOWEVER let me explain that if something BAD happens to me then guess what this JERK is on the phone in a HEARTBEAT like the FIRST person when I call my sister like ready to spew NEGATIVE energy at me when I’m already down. He did it once in a situation and I was SO upset because the other times I wanted to talk to him but the ONE time I didn't, there he was on the phone when I needed to talk to my sister to vent and there he was making weird voices and being RUDE. I had to tell her to tell him to get off. He did it again when I lost my job he was on the phone when I called her and again he didn't talk to me for MONTHS except the day that happened? He jumped on the phone again to make a WEIRD annoying voice and I said why is he on the phone when I Don't wants him to be? Huh?? Like my sister won’t answer and HE will only during those times. That’s when I was upset and thinking wow what a jerk?? He’s doing this on purpose. I’m a positive nice person and would like to talk to him normally but he has no intention of talking to me when I’m happy or just want to talk. ONLY if something happens and I’m upset he gets on the phone and makes weird noises to upset or annoy me or make it worse. Which is really stupid and rude.

So at this convention thingy he gave speeches and he has this job which is a big deal now despite all this he still wants to try to bring me down? Also he has EVERYONE kissing his a** 24/7 and talking about his job and that's all we talked about the whole time. Even my sister said he’s self absorbed and she knew that when marrying him. So Saturday night, me and my sister came back and he was in his apartment. It was late at night. He said "where were you guys" then went into the other room. I tried to ask him a question, but he didn't reply. Then my sister said oh he must be praying that's why he didn't respond and she checked and he was praying. Once he got done he asked my sister if I wanted anything to eat/drink again huh?? He didn't ask ME DIRECTLY or again EVER even say HI to me ONCE while I was in his apartment. I find that to be atrocious. We're all in our early 30's. Then he asked my sister again what my question was again, he didn't ask me directly, but asked my sister to ask me. I said I don't remember? I was falling asleep by then. Again the two days I was in his apartment/home he never ONCE SAID ONE WORD TO ME. I find that to be really messed up. He even ignored a question I answered him, which I know he did on purpose.

Overall I found his behavior to be really WEIRD not normal and rude as hell. When he comes to my place. I am CONSTANTLY talking to him and my sister. Being nice entertaining. How dare he that I go to his place and not even ONCE did he say ONE WORD TO ME while in his apartment?? Not even a HI. I don't know what his MOTIVE is but I assume not giving me anything positive might be a part of it. When I complained to my sister she said later, well he’s worried about his job and getting fired, huh? He talked to everyone else and he was talking to 100's of people, and yet he can't say ONE WORD to his sister in law while she is staying at his place?? IN his place!?

Okay, after all that blog, what is your question. Really, couldn't you have notched this down to one paragraph??

First off, maybe he feels you are his wife's sister not his friend. Maybe he just doesn't have anything to say. Some guys aren't into chit chatting with women. He is married to your sister that really doesn't make him a friend of yours that he needs to make small talk with.
Then you make this comment for him to hear, ***he jumped on the phone again to make a WEIRD annoying voice and I said... why is he on the phone when I Don't want him to be? Huh?? *** which I am sure alienated you to him a bit. I remember when landlines were the only phones available. When someone got on an extension and made a noise it most often meant they needed to make an important phone please finish your call.
Maybe he feels you are the one being rude. Did you try saying 'hi' or 'thank you for allowing me to spend the weekend here with my sister.'

Maybe he doesn't like you. So what? Aren't there people you avoid? It isn't rude to be politely distant by not getting into a confrontation with you. We all have so many more problems in life than someone who won't pretend to be sociable.

Then, you have always had problems with him, right? So why did you ascerbate the 'relationship' by spending time there?

People thought it was a bad idea for you to go in the first place, right? Why do you think that is? Could it be the history between you and your brother in law? Could it be you going there was predictable as far as causing the stress in the home?

I say that because no doubt you had plenty to say to your sister about him not paying any attention to you, and when you got home, plenty to say to everyone else about him. You put your sister in a position of trying to justify her husband's behavior toward you, that I suspect you made a huge deal out of nothing to begin with.

I would say that for some reason, he is not comfortable around you. That's life, for whatever reason, he chooses not to share HIS life with you. He's not stopping you from visiting with your sister.

I don't know why you couldn't have addressed your concerns to him directly. Simply asking him if there is anything wrong could have opened up some dialogue. But, instead, you cowardly made all sorts of assumptions that this situation was all about you, and directed your anger toward your sister for an explanation.

We all have relatives that we'd rather ignore and have minimal contact with. Maybe you are one of those relatives. And there is probably a reason for that, that has nothing to do with him.

I would not voice negative comments to anyone, particularly your sister. That puts her in an awkward position, and no doubt carries on with the rest of the family asking questions.

Jake is right! When you complain to family members it alienates you. Like if a married couple is having problems and the girl cries to her mother, the mother sides with her. Then when they work things out, mom is left holding the bag as the bad guy. You are setting yourself up for distancing yourself by sowing bad seed with the 'how dare he', 'how rude', jerk', 'what business does he have', comments. He probably feels you think you are better than everybody else. Therefore he probably feels its best to avoid you rather than engaging in a conversation that could be held against him knowing you seem to have a problem with him in the first place. In fact your entertaining him and acting all nice at your place he could feel you are two faced since you turn around and complain about him. Did you thank him for staying at their place? Did you try and say hi to him while you were there?

Clearly I (for one) was wrong about you. You are definitely a class act, and don't deserve this gutter snipe brother in law, nor your sister, nor any of us. I will rend my garments and burn hot coals into my flesh in mortification for what I have said, and spend the rest of my days fasting and meditating on the horrible advice I gave you.

Closed OP is clearly looking for a fight, not help.

{Note: insulting posts removed}