Is it wrong for a female to maturbate to erotica

Do you belong to any particular church/denomination? Many say masturbation is a bad thing. I know it can become "bad" if it takes over your life and affects other aspects -- keeps you from interacting with family and friends, gets in the way of your daily work, becomes an obsession even. It's good to know how your body works. God has given us each a remarkable one. To my way of thinking, masturbation allows a person, especially a female, to figure out what pleases and what doesn't. Later, when she finds a lifetime partner, it will strengthen their union if she is able to communicate her sexual needs to him (and he is able to do the same to her).

The Bible never addresses masturbation in either gender, so it's purely your decision. The big question, if you're using erotica, is "what's in your mind?" If the erotica is just a stimulus and you're not actually imagining being in the scene, I see no problem, as long as you keep things under control as WG said. If you actually are imagining being part of the action, that might be a problem, since Jesus said that looking at someone lustfully is the same as adultery. But if you're able to keep your mind from going there, then what you do on your own time is your own business and nobody else's.

You did not say where you live, what type of Christian belief you have. Many women masturbate and most churches do not have any rules on it, or against it.

Fr_Chuck and WG,

Wow. We sure see things differently. I couldn't give two hoots about what some church considers right or wrong. My authority has never been from some institution with man made regulations. It is either right according to God or it isn't. And no church can decide that for you. But that is just me.

Do not really see anything in bible against it, but society installs values of right and wrong on people. People learn or believe what is right and wrong by where they live.

if they live in a middle east society, it would be wrong.

The answer is smack dab in the bible. Dave is correct, this topic is not directly addressed. However the Apostle Paul clears up all gray areas by saying: Whatever is not done by faith is sin.

Therefore, if you can't do this in faith with a good conscience, it is a sin for you.

Fr_Chuck and WG,

Wow. We sure see things differently. I couldn't give two hoots about what some church considers right or wrong. My authority has never been from some institution with man made regulations. It is either right according to God or it isn't. And no church can decide that for you. But that is just me.
Just because a church body forbids it doesn't mean the church members refrain from doing it. Even babies explore their bodies and discover what is pleasurable. As far as I know, most of the fundamentalist and conservative church bodies forbid masturbation, or at least frown on it -- mostly because it is seen as leading to "Onan's sin" or as catering to the Self.

There is no mention of it, per se, in the Bible. It is considered an adiaphoron (a matter of indifference; left to conscience; an amoral matter).

Therefore, if you can't do this in faith with a good conscience, it is a sin for you.
Hos does one masturbate "in faith"? Read Song of Solomon?

WG,

Like I said. I don't give two hoots about what a church says about what is sin or isn't. My authority is the bible.

I read song of Solomon. I don't see the connection. Please explain.

How do you do it by faith? Like you do anything else. Take going to an R rated movie. Certainly that topic isn't in the NT. If I can go watch it not be the least bit uncomfortable and my conscience isn't pricked. I'm good. I have faith that what I am doing is fine with my Lord.

However I know many people wouldn't dream of going. They believe to their core it is wrong. For them... it is.

I read song of Solomon. I don't see the connection. please explain.
It's the most erotic book in the Bible.

The OP asked a question under Christianity that isn't spelled out in the Bible.
This discussion can go on forever!
Christianity has huge variety all over the world.
I personally can't see any harm to the world by masturbating to erotica.

As for the subject of Onan, that was about Onan refusing to help his brother's wife have children by having sex with her, a cultural requirement of the time.
(Genesis 38:9) - "And Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother."

Not suggesting that anyone here subscribes to 'Onan's sin;' just going back to the source. Onan was killed by God for NOT having sex with his brother's wife, not for masturbating!

(More reason to not try to apply every single word in the Bible to today's Christian ideas of right and wrong.)

Joy,

I get what you are saying. The passage isn't about masturbation though. It was about this guy using her for sex and making sure he didn't get her pregnant. God was displeased with what he did. AND that doesn't mean to withdrawl during sex is a sin. This is all about motive and self serving behavior.

I think we can use the bible as our authority of right and wrong. And I think I gave the verse to use in all circumstances when a person is unsure. If you can't do it by faith, it is a sin for you.

(Genesis 38:9) - "And Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother."

(More reason to not try to apply every single word in the Bible to today's Christian ideas of right and wrong.)
Exactly! But some church bodies say it is a forbidden masturbation because Onan intended to foil God. Thus masturbation got a bad rep.

WG,

He didn't masturbate. This had nothing to do with masturbation. The passage is about deception, motive, selfish behavior and defiance towards God.



In my opinion this is NOT how masturbation got a bad rap. Oh I know people point to this passage but it is ignorance.

Want to know where masturbation got it's bad rap? By the person doing it and how they felt afterwards. By their own conscience, by what they were thinking, by lust. No one would even question whether it was right or wrong if they could do it without lusting. I really believe that. This is why a child has no guilt... that kid isn't lusting. That is my take.

His selfishness was in not giving his brother children, not in 'using her for sex.'

WG,

He didn't masturbate. This had nothing to do with masturbation. The passage is about deception, motive, selfish behavior and defiance towards God.
I am saying that some church bodies use that as their reason for not masturbating. You don't have to convince ME.

Please read this carefully and completely --

The Straight Dope: What exactly was the sin of Onan? (http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan)

In my opinion this is NOT how masturbation got a bad rap.

Church history, and especially the writings of the "Fathers," says differently. Onan is almost entirely what their arguments are based on, and to this day I have people trying to throw that story at me as an argument against masturbation. I'm afraid you're giving the Christian Church a little too much credit.

Dave,

Ok. But just because churches have said it doesn't make it right. Like I have already stated. I don't give two hoots about what MAN thinks... only God.

I do think people have lots of guilt over it. I don't think the guilt comes from church. Sorry. Plenty of non church goers have guilt. I think it is because of their thoughts during the act. Their conscience bothers them.



Joy,

Well I disagree. All he had to do was not have sex with her. The result would have been the same. He deceived her, God, his family. Instead he had sex, had a little fun, and pulled out before the deed was all done. And I think THAT is what ticked God off.

Joy,

well I disagree. All he had to do was not have sex with her. The result would have been the same. He deceived her, God, his family. Instead he had sex, had a little fun, and pulled out before the deed was all done. And I think THAT is what ticked God off.


I suppose. We will never know what he was thinking, given that he was forced to marry her. Deception is certainly key here. I think it's more about the lack of a male heir for his brother, rather than having fun or spilling seed.

As for how we develop shame for masturbating, that does get handed down by adults, who get it from religion.
In pre-Christian Rome, for example, men openly masturbated when a pretty woman strutted her stuff.

Hi,

We need more context before answering any further. Please take pause until the original poster has gotten back to her question. Until we know more, this is just mental masturbation. See what I did there?

I'm not masturbating mentally. That's a cute phrase but what does it mean?
I see no reason why she should tell us more. How many angels can dance on the head of a pin, and we need her to come back and tell us how big the pin is? She asked a direct question, and we are the ones who have the burden of thinking of ways to answer it.
What sort of context should she put it in? The branch of Christianity? What the erotica consists of? Now that might bring on some mental masturbation.

Moderator Note-OP started another thread in Adult Sexuality that was rather non religious about her liking to talk dirty to herself which was deleted as it was not as question, and full of chat text.

Oy vey caramba OMG

So, we got trolled?


Dave,

Ok. But just because churches have said it doesn't make it right. Like I have already stated. I don't give two hoots about what MAN thinks...only God.

I do think people have lots of guilt over it. I don't think the guilt comes from church. sorry. plenty of non church goers have guilt. I think it is because of their thoughts during the act. Their conscience bothers them.

You said you didn't think the Onan story was the basis of so much of Christianity's opposition to the topic. I pointed out that yes, the church through the centuries has primarily based its opposition to masturbation on the Onan story.

I can tell you from experience that no, guilt doesn't really enter into it. If there is guilt, where does it come from? It comes from the churches telling people anything sexual is evil. We have our old pal Augustine to thank for more or less encoding that idea, and since then Catholics, Protestants, Independents and pretty much everybody else has just accepted it uncritically, which is part of the problem. We all agree that Onan has nothing to do with it; the question is, even though it appears we sort of got punked with this one, where do we go from here with the topic? We agree there's no biblical evidence for or against, so God really hasn't spoken about it. So now what?

I'm starting to feel sorry for the OP (sorry Dave, not trying to put your interesting response on a back burner). We don't get to see her 'chat' under Sexuality, which is too bad, because we usually allow for some correction. She may be feeling very guilty!
I think her post should be brought back.

I'm not too thrilled that another new member asking and answering questions under Real Estate this morning disappeared, lock stock and barrel, for the slightest of reasons. All I did was ask her why she was asking if building or buying a house was better when she had told someone she had already bought a house.
WHAT is going on the last several days?

We don't get to see her 'chat' under Sexuality, which is too bad, because we usually allow for some correction. She may be feeling very guilty!
I think her post should be brought back.
The post was chat and x-rated (or r-rated, depending on one's sensibilities). Guilt does not seem to be a problem. The post goes against the TOS of the site, and that's why it was removed.

OK.. I was just dismayed that another 2 posts were gone this morning too.

'God really hasn't spoken about it. So now what?'

I'm always curious about the cut-off date for God Has Spoken. When was it? Did He just decide to clam up? Why does no one wonder about that?

'God really hasn't spoken about it. So now what?'
Like I said earlier, It is considered an adiaphoron (a matter of indifference; left to conscience; an amoral matter).

I'm always curious about the cut-off date for God Has Spoken. When was it? Did He just decide to clam up? Why does no one wonder about that?
New topic :) -- Please start a new thread with this question (or I can move it to its own real estate).